What I have learned... so far

1. The older I get, the more conservative I have become.

2. The older I get, I have learned to appreciate life and beauty more and more

3. I have learned to speak with GOD, and I feel we have mutual respect for one another.

4. I have learned to listen to people and I have mastered the art of the conversation and I do use this to my advantage... though many times my intentions may not be noble ones... but I am working to improve that part of me.

5. Getting women has gotten easier - (see #4) keeping them is an entirely different story. I have an idea of what it is that I want and what I don’t want in a woman... and I am not going to settle for anything else... I just wont... so... if I have to go through so many women looking for the one... it’s just something I’m going to have to do... poor me....

6. There are very few people you can rely on. I have given my loyalty and my friendship away to many whom did not deserve it only to be left out in the cold alone with a knife in my back... I trust no one really... and I can count my friends with two fingers. I keep my secrets to myself and never tell anyone the truth of my life... in fact if you were to gather everyone that I have ever known throughout my life and brought them together to speak about me... you would get entirely different stories and you still wouldn’t know the truth...

7. Only I know what will make me happy. So chase your dream no matter what the cost. If you have to leave your friends behind... leave them behind. If it means disappointing your family... disappoint them.... leave everyone behind who says you're crazy and that it will never happen for you... leave everyone behind that does not have faith in you and will not support your dreams and goals and ambitions... leave them all behind... you’ll meet others along the way to reaching your dreams... far more interesting and exciting people... and maybe one or two of them may just turn out to be the greatest friends you will ever make.

8. My enemies are not those that hate me for my freedom... my enemies are those who are taking my freedom away... I know that one day I will be hunted down and persecuted for wanting to live the life of a free man... I will live free or die...

9. John Lennon was right - all we need is love.

10. I do not give my faith or my money to religions. There is not a religion in the world that has yet to ease the suffering of the poor and the needy... religion has managed to separate the world and cause much pain and suffering in the name of their gods... men, women, and children all forced to suffer and die for their religion... or killed by a religion.... but they all boast that they are the one true faith and that God is on their side but they have not eased the suffering of the poor and the needy and the hungry of the world...

11. I put my faith in no government. Only I can provide for my own safety. Only I can provide my own financial security. Only I can assure my own privacy. Only I can keep myself safe and free... Governments rais taxes and pass laws that take away freedoms instead of solving problems... and their answer to solve a problem is usually worse than the original problem... Governments start wars and justify them with lies and pay for them with borrowed money and the blood of the poor and uneducated and faithfully blind... I will not pick up a gun and go to fight a war in another country that has nothing to do with me... let the politicians and bureaucrats slug it out with each other... leave me out of it... It is against the laws of my GOD to take another life... but don’t push me... The world is big enough for all of us. If we would all just be polite and courteous to one another and treat people the way we would like people to treat us - the world would not be in such a mess. If we would all just respect each other and mind our own business and think for our selves instead of letting religions and governments tell us how we should think then the world would be a better and safer place to live in .

12. John also said “give peace a chance”
Give it chance - what do we have to lose.... what the FUCK do we have to lose?!?

Do you want peace bad enough that you will demand it with a clenched fist in the air in front of the men and women elected to represent you and say to them - Stop fighting! Stop killing! Stop spending money we do not have! Stop and listen to us! WE WANT PEACE!!!

I do not know why people that demonstrate for peace are always treated like criminals... I do not know why people that work for peace are not protected and praised and held in the highest regards by the governments of the world... but instead are left to die at the hands of assassins...
Ghandi... Martin Luther King Jr.... John Lennon... I haven’t learned the reasons why yet... maybe... the world just doesn’t want peace bad enough...

13. I have learned that beauty is everywhere in everyone... and everyone has something beautiful to contribute to the world... but not everyone knows that they do...

14. Once you know what money is... and once you have defined success... and once you know what it is that you truly want... then making money and finding success and getting the things that you want will become much easier.

15. Love is the only thing worth living for... and sometimes dying for

maybe this Christmas...

maybe this Christmas under my tree

I'll find the letters she never sent to me

and she'll tell me all the reasons she couldn't tell me before

and maybe this Christmas I wont wonder why any more

maybe this Christmas snow just might fall

and I might find the courage to make that telephone call

and I just might tell her the things I never did say

and maybe this Christmas things just might go my way

maybe this Christmas under twinkling lights

I'll find a sweet angel to get me through this night

she'll cover me with kisses that will help me forget

I've gathered up all the miseltoe but haven't hung it up yet

maybe this Christmas when the candles have gone out

I'll run away where I'll never be found

where Christmas wishes come true for everyone

and maybe this christmas my ramblin' days will be done

A Christmas poem

I’m not in Paris where I thought I’d be
I’m not in Mexico City where they wait for me
I’m not with the one who haunts me in my dreams
Happy Christmas - alone I sing
Rome is still waiting but she’s drifting out of sight
And Buenos Aires will be there until New Years night
Birmingham and London are just memories - that’s all
At a lounge in Chicago I wait for the snow to fall

I’m not in Hong Kong - there’s no one there I know
I’m not in Tokyo - I want to see the neon glow
I wish I could trade this ticket for a one way flight back home
Seems all my "winter kisses" list have left me all alone
Rome is still waiting but she wont wait for long
Paris and Buenos Aires are singing the same song
The same time next year I’ll end up where I don’t belong
Seems that every Christmas I always get it wrong...

The Lost Boys

The lost boys get here ‘round midnight
With ragged hearts and broken wings
Striking poses for all the bad girls
Like angels from Italian magazines
Lost boys make bad heroes
They buy their whiskey with their charm
In the morning they’re still hoping
They wake up in a strangers arms
Lost boys make bitter soldiers
Their scars are medals they try to hide
It’s a strange tango when they find you
Love is useless in their eyes
Lost boys will not find heaven
Until they stop chasing broken hearts
They’re splendid lovers - but that’s all they’re good for
In this opera they know how to play their part...

Lost boys get here ‘round midnight
With ragged hearts and broken wings

When a vampire falls in love - the film

For Elizabeth Stelling,

with much love... thank you.

Just like Marlon Brando...

I walked into the room
Just like Marlon Brando
But I fell too hard too soon
When she caught my eye
I made my way across the floor
Just like Marlon Brando
As the crowd cried out for more
My dreams of her came into light

I tried to win her heart
With my best Marlon Brando
I was too caught up in my part
To see she was playing her own game
Now I'll never be the same
Just like Marlon Brando
...In the pouring rain -
crying out her name

Kiss me in Spanish...

Kiss me in Spanish
Touch me in Portuguese
Love me in Italian
And bring me to my knees
Whisper my name softly
Hold me to your breast
Calm my restless heart
And lay me down to rest

Look at me with your Mayan eyes
Tickle me with your silky China hair
Take me to your holy paradise
And forever keep me there
Whisper my name softly
Hold me close to your heart
Shower me with your kiss - I only know this...
I’m lost at sea and you’re my only star

...and winter came...

The leaves turned to gold
My life to shades of silver
The wind blew cold
My heart felt a shiver

The sky turned grey
And my dreams drowned in it
All the birds flew away
And with them left my spirit

The sun lost it’s glow
And I surrendered to winter
The city was buried in snow
And my soul buried with her

Sea-fever

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sails shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face and a grey dawn breaking.

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over

John Masefield
(1878 - 1967)