Friday, June 26, 2009

West-Texas Love Song

When she’s in L.A. I’m in Dallas
When she’s in New York I’m in San Antone
When she’s in Paris I’m on my way back home
Under the moon in a West Texas love song
And I’ll keep driving all night until I reach Sun City
And I could keep driving straight into Juarez
And I could take this heart of mine and drown it in Dos Equis
Or I could give it to the first girl that says yes

And I don’t know where she is now
But I wish we were together
This lonely road can’t take her off my mind
I know that I will love her forever
Though I should let her go - I can’t leave her kiss behind
I want to chase the sun over Mount Franklin
I want to see the arms of Cristo Rey
Nobody knows the kind of state I’m in
I’m leaving it to fate - to get me through the day

When she’s in L.A. I’m in Dallas
When she’s in New York I’m in San Antone
When she’s in Milan I’m on my way back home
Under the moon in a West Texas love song
And I’ll keep driving all night until I reach my senses
And I’ll keep driving straight to the Pearly Gates
I’ll be with Jose Cuervo ‘till I find out what true love is
For a man like me I hope it’s not to late

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

"How to live out of a ruck sack" - a traveler's guide to packing

this is a re post from the old Deringer Files - because it is summer and many of us are hitting the road.
Since I was a boy the idea of running away has always appealed to me, something about life on the road and unexpected adventures around the bend still calls out to me like the lines from a Kerouac journal.When I was young I had devised a plan to run away and join the circus, that never happened only because I had too many things I wanted to take with me, things I could not live without, mainly, my record collection. How was I going to hit the road lugging my record collection everywhere? I was a kid and couldn't even drive yet. My plan needed re-working. Well, twenty six years later, I've learned to pack light and thanks to the wonders of modern technology, in the form of digital music, I can even take along my record collection. I have run away several times as an adult and I am quite fond of the weekend get away, and I am always prepared and eager for a weekend jaunt to turn into a two or three week stint - the secret is all in the packing. Experienced travelers and adventurers will agree - take only what you require, only essentials. Take with you only what you can carry on your back I have learned, after years of running away and weekend trips, to pack the same way for a trip that may last a week or a few months and I carry only one bag, my ruck sack, sometimes, I may also take along my computer which will require me to take along my messengers bag. I hate traveling with my computer and only do so if I need to get some work done, but still, every now and then I will take my messenger bag - they are great for day trips and to store food and snacks and assorted gifts and novelties one might purchase or acquire on a journey, plus it's good for totting my sketch book, journal, pencils, and colors. For my own convenience and sense of style I abandoned the suit case, that bulgy plastic square Samsonite for a much more luxurious leather ruck sack with the look and smell of days from another time, and just slinging it over my shoulder makes me feel like an explorer of the world when it was still young, each and every time. Perhaps the biggest advantages of packing light, that is, traveling with one bag which you can carry on your back, is mobility. If you have ever traveled with a tour group or perhaps even on your own, you know that you will quite often find yourself having to carry your own luggage from one place to another, and these would be the times you wished you had packed light - regardless of the new convenient roll away luggage you may have purchased. Mobility is the name of the traveling game. You can take your back pack with you virtually everywhere and not have to worry about standing watch over it at airports, bus terminals, and train stations, and if you are passing through a town by train or bus and you want to explore the sight for one day, you can rent a locker and stuff your bag into it or tote it along with you, either way - you will not have to worry about your belongings. So, just how does one gain the mobility of traveling light on a journey that may last as short as three days and as long as three months? First we must keep in mind the place (and places) to be visited, what are your plans, why are you going, and what will the weather be like? If your plans are simply to go away for a few days and relax and perhaps do some sight seeing, then your wardrobe will be casual. However, if you are traveling on business, pack a couple of extra neck ties and wrinkle free shirts, and learn to coordinate your wardrobe accordingly. A great book to help you to coordinate your suits and wardrobe is "Chic Simple - Clothes" by Kim Johnson Gross and Jeff Stone, and do keep in mind the "simple" part, simple clothing for simple, easy traveling. Should you be traveling in the summer, pack a pair of shorts and light weight pants, cotton and linen are great and easy maintenance. Take along a good pair of walking shoes and breathable shirts. For travels in the fall or winter seasons, pack sweaters, I prefer dark colored turtle necks, wool socks, gloves and warm underwear, and regardless of the season, take along a blazer and a scarf, one must always be conscience of ones appearance for you never know where you will you find yourself.

WHAT TO PACK:(for the best mobility keep your bag under twenty pounds) 2 pants (with the pair you are wearing gives you three), 2 short sleeved shirts or T-shirts, 2 long sleeved shirts (wrinkle free), 1 dark sweater, 1 wind breaker or denim jacket, 4 sets of underwear and socks, 1 tie, 1 scarf. For winter traveling include: warm underwear, gloves or mittens,heavy jacket or coat, dark sweaters,extra socks.

BASIC TOILETRY KIT:(in small bottles) soap, shampoo, conditioner, lotion,comb, brush, tooth brush, paste, floss, chap stick, shaving cream or soap,razor, grooming kit, Swiss army survival knife, *vitamins/supplements, aspirin, pain killers, alka seltzer, cold and flue pills,anti bacteria cream, small first aid kit, small sewing kit.

MY PRE-TRAVEL CHECK LIST: Clothing, pen, toiletry kit, photos of family, first aid kit, post cards from home, sewing kit, book to read, sketch book, money belt, pencils, colors, inks, guide book, journal, trains and bus schedules, camera, language dictionary (for what ever country you may be in) i-pod adaptors, address book, maps*

It has been a while since I have ventured to travel by plane, make sure to call your airline representative to be sure if these items will be allowed to carry on, or perhaps make arrangements for them to be checked on board for you. Now you should be set to travel like a foot lose gypsy. For some, this kind of ruck sack travel might take some getting used to, especially if you feel you can not do it, but once you have gone on your first full vacation trip like this, you will see there is no better way to travel, unless of course, you have your own yacht or jet and travel with an entourage to cater to your every desire. Packing light makes your journey much more carefree and convenient, yes, you may have to take some time to do a little washing as you go, but it is well worth it for the ease and mobility you will gain from it. Enjoy your travels and adventures wherever they may take you.

Sunday, June 21, 2009


From room to room I'm left wandering
Chasing the echoes of the words you left behind
Looking for the phantom voice I cannot find
My heart is still breaking - my soul is melting slower than the snow
And on my chest and my fingers
Your perfume lingers.
It's 4:00 a.m. I must be crazy
Chasing the memories still blowing through my mind
Looking for the ghost of another time
If my heart could stop beating - the night's so defeating
Wish I could just let go
But on my chest and my fingers
Your perfume lingers...
Your perfume lingers...

Friday, June 12, 2009

Like the ones that came before...

Does his look make you feel like a child
Does his touch have your blood running wild
Do his words stir the foundations of your soul
Are the dreams that he gives you perfumed with gold...

Can his sighs melt the stars into rain
Do his lips start the fire or do the but out the flame
Does his kiss leave you wanting for more
Like the ones that came before...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Without Her

Without her voice
I’m like a pirate in the desert
Dreaming of the sea
Without her eyes
I’m like the devil
Wishing for a celestial dream
Without her touch
I'm a wale drowning in chaos
With no song to sing
Without her kiss
I’m a peasant in rags
That used to be a king

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Icarus Rising

Card dealer read my fortune
Tea reader read my fate
A gypsy sang me a sad tune
The palm reader said it was to late
So tell me then how did I find you
How did I even get out of hell
Now what am I suppose to do
Once again I am under your spell

For you I would break into Heaven
And steal all the maps of time
And relive every life at the moment I lost you
When I should have been making you mine
I was Ulysses crossing the ocean
Quetzalcoatle’s shadow on the moon
I was Vincent Van Gogh fighting my emotions
I was Icarus rising for you

Last night I thought I heard you calling
Calling me through oceans of time
But I awoke to find it was only the echo
Of the whispers you left in my mind
So many words I left unspoken
Some nights the pain tears me apart
and all of the poems that no one ever wrote you
Are in a box hidden inside my heart

For you I would break into Heaven
And steal all the maps of time
And relive every life at the moment I lost you
When I should have been making you mine
I was Bolivar crossing the Orinoco
I found Eden in 1492
I was a lonely explorer lost in the Arctic
I was Icarus falling for you

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Confessions of a mad poet

When I was a boy I wanted to be a sailor because my grandfather - my father’s father - was a man of the sea - and I always wanted to be like my father’s father... I, unfortunately, have become too much like my father. As I got a little older I wanted to become a journalist and then an architect and also a fashion designer. At one point in my life I had convinced myself that I wanted to be in the entertainment industry and for some reason I felt I belonged in advertising... well, when I got into advertising it took a while to realize this is not what I want to do... so I left to do what it is I really want to do... I tell people I am a graphic designer but I have not done anything of the sort for quite a while now... I am making money... and I am not suffering... and I think this will make me happy... if I could just be more like my grandfather.

Some time ago I abandoned my material possessions. I took a good look at my life and I did not like what I found - I did not like the person I had become and I knew that the things I had - actually had me... I wasn’t going to be like that... I wasn’t going to live like that. I did not need those things and I no longer wanted them... so out they went along with whomever I was when I had them.

My life has gone through many phases in search of happiness and the one thing that will complete me. I have filled my body with a wide variety of substances from cigarettes to liqueur and every herb and non-medically prescribed drug I could get my hands on... the reason... to forget... and to avoid... I have not been drunk in a while though I do have a drink from time to time. I have not had a cigarette in about two years - it made me sick and it had been about a year before that one that a had quit cold turkey... I think I have done pretty good in the not smoking part - as for the drugs I wont go near them - I have nothing against pot and people who chose to smoke it - that is your own business. I wont preach to people that use illegal drugs as I have used them myself and as no one told me to stop using and no one helped me to stop using... you make your own choices... right. I have never been into any rehab or joined any AA type groups - that is not for me... you’ve got to have some serious problems with in your self to not be able to solve your own problems.

I have searched for that missing link that would bring me closer to GOD in religion and in the occult. I have taken vows of blood and dedicated a good part of my life to the service of clandestine brotherhoods whom shall remain nameless but their secrecy and their ridiculous rituals left me, in the end, nowhere closer to the answers I was seeking, though, many questions were answered and my eyes opened to the truth of many things... my GOD and I remain strangers waiting to find each other.

Women... there have been many - I do not say that to be boastful but out of regret - and know that I regret very little in my life - regret that there has had to be so many in my search for the one... yes one... just one damn it! Why does it have to be so God damn hard to find the one?!?! - I know deep in my heart if I was a married man today that I would be a completely different man - with all those material possession that I have forsaken... because no woman that I have met yet could live without them... or at least... I have not met a woman yet that has not judged me by the things that I do not have... so, no woman has been able to stick around long enough to see the things that I do have - and that is my little secret. I have known many women that told me they longed for a life of adventure - but when offered the opportunity to leave their life and start anew in a different place - a place they have longed to see -"just leave everything behind... we’ll go tonight" - they all said no... all but one... they all said no...the only woman who did put that much faith in me came along at the wrong damn time... and I think of her often... and I hope she is happy. I keep looking for the one in the lips of all the ones that happen to land in my arms... I keep looking in the eyes of the ones who stay until the sun comes up... I keep looking.

I am not a rich man. I am a poor man with money - but I do not want a woman who simply wants me for the money that I may or may not have... she will have to have faith in me... that I will provide for her, that I will take care of her, that I will love her and desire her... and I will...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I'll find you someday...

In his dream he’s lying beside her
Outside the wind is blowing and the rain falls
Thunder crashes and again he’s lost her
As his taxi turns a corner and heads into the storm
He holds his heart to calm his soul
That cries in pain - that does not know
The promise that he made - I’ll find you someday...

In a sidewalk café in Buenos Aires
She reads the letter that she never sent
She hears a laugh that reminds her of him
And turns to see where her lover went
She closes her eyes to stop her tears
and starts to pray
She thinks of the night she went away
And the promise that he made - I’ll find you someday...

In a box under his bed he hides her letters
Something inside him will not let them go
He knows he will never be able to forget her
His heart beats slower than melting snow
He clings to his gin and tonic like he holds onto his life
But it slips and shatters - the last swallow cuts like a knife
Tearing through his soul
That cries in pain - that does not know
The promise that he made - I’ll find you someday...
art work by Pam Powell