Sunday, February 12, 2012

Does this have to be so complicated...

Cold Sunday afternoon. Nothing to do but stay in bed... come back to bed and lay in silence with me... we don’t have to make love... we don’t have to speak... just lay here and let me try to read your thoughts... you’re wandering around the room lost and confused waiting for me to ask you what’s wrong... but I know what’s wrong. You’re trying to trick me into a conversation I don’t want to have - you have been acting strange for quite some time now... you have gotten too emotionally attached to me... you have become jealous of my mistresses - money, freedom, and art... you have that look in your eyes again like the first weeks we started our affair... I thought I had lost you for a moment there... but you have come back... with more kindness... more passion... more love... and love - it seems - is the problem...
You have been acting more like what I image you would be like as a wife... much more wonderful than you already are... as I imagine it.. You allow me more freedom and time to myself, though I know you would rather I spend that time with you... you defend my actions to your friends now, you protect me from their attacks, though you don’t have to - If I worried about what others thought of me and what I do... I would not have any money... and I would be as miserable as others... You do things now for me that I would never ask you to do... you want to cook for me... pick up my dry-cleaning... and run my errands... but of course... I wont let you...
You have always been very womanly... very feminine... very kind and gentle... and I have always been grateful and appreciative for it... you are unique among the women of this world I live in and any man would be glad to have you... and I am glad... and proud... that others know you are my woman... you are my woman aren’t you? Every one knows you are my girl. I can’t go anywhere without people asking about you - they ask more about you than they did about Rebecca - I guess everyone just likes you more... but they know you are mine... and all your jealous friends know that you are mine - they don’t ask about me “your boyfriend that’s never with you” - but they all know... you belong to me... but... do I belong to you... is the idea that some one has been putting into your head...
And you want to know... do I belong to you... am I your man? You know how I spend my time alone... you know what I do for money and how I do it... you know where I will be when I am not with you and where to find me if you need me... you know that I have no friends to compete for your time and you know I don’t chase women... but you know that I don’t have to chase women... you came to me - remember... and you know that Rebecca chased me as well... but you know... and damn it... you know this... I enjoy being with you... I am grateful for the time I spend with you - I always tell you that - I always show you that... and how often do I ask you to go away with me on my trips... if you can’t go - you can’t go... what can we do about that? I will give you more time if that is what you want... but you and I both know that what you want is more than just my time... time will not solve this problem...

Baby... just come back to bed...

Was it yesterday... or the day before... you didn’t need to hear me say “I love you...” But today you need it... you never needed more than me to desire you... you never needed more than my passion for you... you never needed more than for me to want you... have you grown tired of all the work you must do to get me to release my lust for you... I am a hard man to please some times... but you like it like that... at least you did yesterday... or the day before... when you were quite happy with our little arrangement in the kitchen... I’ll make love to you and feed you... but you clean up the mess... you were fine yesterday... or the day before... when you spent all your time with your friends and showed up at my door at one in the morning needing me to make love to you... and you were fine the next day when you rushed out the door to get to work like the so many times I left you sleeping to get to some meeting or conference call online... you were fine... but today... you need me to tell you that I love you...

Baby... just come back to bed...

We don’t need to make love... we don’t need to speak...

I’ll cook for you when you get hungry... I’ll make love to you when you need to feel me inside of you... I’ll fill your head with pretty words when you need to hear them and I’ll seduce you and charm you when you need me to make you feel like a woman... just like I always have... but you don’t need to make things so complicated... you just need to come back to bed...