I am what I say I am

“I AM WHAT I SAY I AM”

and you can’t convince me otherwise...

“To find yourself, think for yourself” - Socrates

Many years ago I became a member of a not so secret “secret society” steeped in the occult and dressed in fancy lies and layered with secrets of their own... from their own... and those on the outside (I can only refer to as sheep).

I had my reasons for joining and my reasons for leaving - someone once said to me that once you’re in - you’re in for life - whether you’re in or out... well... we’ll see.

There were many things about their organization that I was unsure of or that I did not agreed with - but equally as many things that I accepted as true and undeniable - a couple of those things being their teachings of the laws of the universe and how to apply them to ones life as written in that little blue book called “The Kybalion”, and their teachings on how the mind and the subconscious work... I still read The Kybalion often all these years later and contemplate on it - I know men that have been studying it all their lives.

The Kybalion teaches us that “ the universe is mantel - the ALL is mind”

A teacher of mine told me - “the subconscious holds the secrets of the universe... it is where all the answers can be found, it is the doorway to the astral realm... and that -  is were we work the magic...”

And he was right...

For the subconscious is the home of your true self - it is the core of your personality, your behavior and your beliefs.  The reason why you are why you are is because of all the information and beliefs that have been planted in your subconscious mind. -

“When you control what someone perceives, you control them”

WHAT IS REALITY?

 - Reality is determined by what you believe to be true.

 - Truth is relative to your perception.

 - Perception is the result of processed information, contemplation, and influence from outside sources.

“What you believe is what will manifest in our experience - we all create our own reality”

From the Deringer File titled Lessons Learned the Hard Way on affirmations:

* "What you believe will become your reality - the subconscious mind is a computer - it will supply the results of the information it has received - like land it will bring forth that which has been planted into it... your personality and your behavior... your actions and reactions are all a product of what is in your subconscious.  This is how and why affirmations work - by repeating them as often as possible they get planted deep with in the human subconscious where they will become your beliefs... once something gets trapped in your subconscious it will become part of you - it will define you.  If you believe you are the kind of man who is attractive to women, then you will find yourself displaying attractive behavior naturally... this is also important in chasing your dreams - setting goals. By setting goals you are creating a map to achieving you dreams... when you accomplish a goal you are affirming to yourself that you can achieve something... when you achieve one goal you have created confidence within yourself to accomplish another - what you are doing is creating confidence... confidence creates success which creates confidence to create more success... half of the trick is knowing what it is that you want... know absolutely what it is that you want... money is not what you want - it is the things you want to buy with the money that you want... women are not what you want... it is the feeling you get when you are with the woman that loves you and that you love that you want... Once you know what it is that you want then you must believe that you can, will, and do deserve to get it... and you will get it - your subconscious mind will always create your reality... once it has become a belief..."

Your beliefs also work in a destructive way.  If you believe that something is hard and you can not do it - then it will be hard for you and you will not be able to do it... too hard to learn, too hard to try, so not worth the effort... I’ll never get that job... she wont like me, she’s out of my league... I’m not smart enough...not strong enough... not good looking... I’m just not good enough... the universe is against me... it’s the patriarchy... white privilege keeps me down - whatever excuse for failure and not moving forward people want to use will get trapped deep in the mind and create that reality.

People focus more of their attention on the negative and end up with negative results - simply because energy goes where it is focused on... and people use affirmations all the time, but they are using these negative affirmations and the subconscious mind absorbs them and they become your beliefs and that is the life you get...

I read somewhere that successful people become successful because they do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do which is to make the changes that need to be made in your life, make sacrifices, invest time, effort, and belief, and turn the things you don’t want to do into habits.

A Habit can make or break you - you can get into the habit of laziness and inertia and stay stagnant right where you are... you get into the habit of surfing the internet for useless shit like pornography and masturbate precious time away when you could be looking for a woman, the habit of playing video games all night when you could be doing something more productive like learning a new skill or working on a side hustle... the habit of eating junk food and wasting time watching garbage on t.v.... when you could be working out... or reading... or doing something artistic.

I had to turn working out into a habit - I have always walked and enjoyed it and did it everyday for years... but working out was something else.  I had always had friends that lifted weights and had always tried to get me to work out but I never did - when I was still a teenager I started to lift but everyone around me made fun of me because I was a skinny weak kid - so I quit... I started to learn karate and everyone around me made fun of me... so I quit... I bought a couple of books to teach myself how to cook... but yeah... everyone around me made fun of me... so I quit... when I say those around me I mean my family... my brothers... my parents... I was a curious and adventurous boy but I always had more fun playing alone... though I seemed to always take the lead when playing with other kids... my step-father was always bothered by my laud play - back then my imagination required lots of noise as there were battles to be fought with dragons and evil doers... and Indians or Nazis... or ninja robots... so I had to find quiet ways to express myself... enter art... and music... and writing short stories for no one but myself... and I kept these things all to myself... I was not going to let those around me take it away from me... and to this day I have never really shared any of my art - be it drawings or writings or music of my own composition with any one in my family - actually, when I was living in Chicago my mother came up to visit my once and I played the piano for her... she was far from impressed... you just can’t win sometimes with your own damn family... but I got into the habit when I was young to draw something every day (until the time came when I did not have the time for my artistic pursuits any more), and writing every night and practicing the guitar... it became a habit and it became a part of who I am  - what I am... when I was still a young man - I even gave up on my dreams and the businesses I was trying to start because those around me told me I couldn’t do it... that I should find a real job... I gave up... because I believed what they wanted me to believe - I couldn’t do it... today my family has no idea how I make my money - like the art I do not share with them... I just don’t tell them anything... I stopped worrying about what they think of me... I prep and they think I am nuts... I talk about the descent of the country and they say I should just leave if I don’t like it... I just keep my mouth shut now days... they know nothing important about me... they only know the man I let them see... the man they want to see... I don’t think they could handle or understand, or even appreciate the man I really am and the man I aspire to be... they could  not, and I am sure, they would not want to be part of my reality and the world I wish to be a part of...

My reality has been shaped by my affirmations.  I have made money by paying attention to what others want... I went looking for what others want and got payed for providing it... but I had to change the way I think and form new habits in my mind and in my actions... I had to train my mind to believe that all those things everyone said I could not do - I could do... and that I was good at it... I trained my self to believe that I can easily learn new things and easily acquire new skills... I had to train my self to believe that it was my destiny to get that money... that client...  that painting... that girl - destiny wants me to have it... I can not stop until I have it... God wants me to have it and he will place the opportunity in my path... I will pay attention when it presents itself and take full advantage of it... and when I can’t find the opportunity... I will create it... because destiny says it was mine to take any way...

Every few months I am instilling new believes in my mind with the use of affirmations - currently I am on the hunt for a young woman of child bearing age and in proper mental health with whom I can be fruitful with and multiply - she’s out there and I will find her... I found the others with the help of affirmations and moving in the direction of them - I will find her as I move in the direction of her.

How I do it.

I write down what it is that I want and focus on  the words - as I write them down... I focus on the feeling of what I want - that is, how the thing I want makes me feel... why do I want it? For the feeling it gives me  - that is called vibration...

I then write down the affirmation - as I focus on the feeling of it.  I write down the affirmation short and simple and to the point - and it is written as a thank you note - to God or the Universe (but not stated - it is understood that the thank you is to God). It is written as if I have already acquired that feeling... that thing.

I then say the affirmation out loud - I say it passionately - with emotion... with gratitude... humble and sincere... this is going to get planted deep in my subconscious mind...God dwells in your subconscious mind - let him know how truly grateful you are for the gifts he has given and those that are on their way... treat this as a spiritual ritual.

I do this once in the morning and once at night and several times when I am alone through out the day.

I do not know how this works and I do not know why it works... I simply only know that it does work and I can not be convinced other wise... if you have proof that this does not work for me as I say it does - you are free to state your case... but this belief has already been planted into my subconscious mind and it is now part of my religion... so good luck.

After the first week of starting the affirmation I find that along the way in that first week I have already begun to move in the direction of that thing that I want - learning a new skill or researching something... going to where I have to be in order to get what I am looking for - the answers will come to you but you have to take action - I knew I wanted to tighten up my stomach and sculpt my abs - I knew what I wanted... I knew why I wanted it... I told myself I could do it and formed the habit of doing crunches... every morning... thank you.

Know what you want.

Know why you want it.

Believe you can get it.

Believe you deserve it.

Believe it is what God, destiny, and the universe what for you (with absolutely no doubt).

Focus on the vibration (the way you feel when you think about that thing).

And take action - move in the direction of where the feeling takes you.

I want it... I have to have it... I will do good things with it... I deserve it... God wants me to have it... there it is... there she is... there they are... that is the client I was looking for... there is the reward for me to take for my work and persistence and belief... there is the land I was looking for... there is my gang... there is my purpose...my destiny... thank you...

Again - I don’t know how this works and I do not know why it works... I simply only know that it does work.

I keep several journals at one time - one of them I call my rutter - or simply, my navigator. The quotes I have used here a are very small part of the many quotes I have gathered in my rutter I think of them often and find ways to apply them to my life. In my rutter I write down my affirmations as well. It is a book I have been working on for a  several years and I am nowhere near filling its pages... it is a book written chaotically - I open it up and begin to write in whatever empty page it falls on... It contains notes on the Kybalion, and the works of Wallace Wattles, and Napoleon Hill, quotes, affirmations, observations on women and how I got them, my favorite hustles and how I made (and make) money, mind tricks and social engineering formulas, notes on investing and my own spiritual thoughts and observations. I plan to pass this book down to my sons to make life easier for them - my parents taught me nothing - I will teach my sons the most important things I have learned... and if I teach them well - with this book they will never go hungry.  It is also a bit cryptic to the casual observer (an outsider) but if you could decipher my rutter and read it in chronological order you would see how I have gotten to this point in my life and why.

A rutter - as described by James Clavell in the book “SHOGUN” -

“A rutter was a small book containing the detailed observations of a pilot who had been there before.  It recorded magnetic compass courses between ports and capes, headlands and channels.  It noted the soundings and depths and color of the water and the nature of the seabed.  It set down the how we got there and how we got back: How many days on a special tack, the pattern of the wind, when it blew and from where, what currents to expect and from where; the time of storms and the time of fair winds; where to careen the ship and where to water; where there were friends and where foes; shoals, reefs, tides. havens; at best, everything necessary for a safe voyage”

I also carry with my a smaller navigator with me everywhere - (a pocket notebook) it contains lists - mostly packing and prepping list along with the “Knights Code” and the “Samurai Creed” and the most important things that I am grateful for and that I give thanks for several times a day... and affirmations I am instilling in my mind.

I read the larger rutter every morning after I work out and every night before I try to sleep - it has become habit.  When I think over certain event of my day - I look for something that corresponds to it in my book... a quote that will explain the reason for the mistake... or the lesson I am meant  to learn...  In the morning it helps to focus my energy in the direction of that thing that I want - hence the title “navigator”.

It works... for me... it can work for you.

This may all sound strange - I am sure readesr come to their own conclusion of the type of man I am from what they read in the writings here at these Deringer Files... but nothing is ever what it seems in this world... in my world... in the reality I have created.

I urge every man looking to better himself to listen to this recording (31:40) it just might save your life

EARL NIGHTINGALE'S

"The Strangest Secret in the World"