Deringer Girl

A long time ago - before I left El Paso to chase after Diana in Chicago - I started seeing a young lady named Sandra (The poems Maybe I'm Crazy & Kiss me in Spanish were written for her)... One night I made the fatal mistake of asking her what it was that she wanted - 

"Everything" she said.

"Hmm..." was my response... "everything... that's a lot..."

"Yes it is..."

"What is it that you want from me?" Fool...

Why did I ask that... do you really want to know...

"Everything..." she answered... looking right into my soul...

"Now... that is a lot..." I waited a bit... to study her face... "and what would I get in return for that?"

She walked to me... stood on her toes to reach my ear as I bent forward for her... "Everything..."

I don't know what happened to her... she was the girl that came somewhere in between Carmen and my departure for Chicago... That girl  had many things that I liked... but she was young... and I was in desperate need of a woman... but the fool that I was... I went chasing after a fantasy...

Elena read  "An Awkward Moment" - 

"You do kiss and tell... don't you" she said to me

"only the interesting stuff... don't worry... only  about a dozen people actually read that blog..."

"So you said I was a Deringer Girl... what's a Deringer Girl?"

I said - "hmm..."

The following is a post from the original Deringer Files... or from the Havana Club Blog... I'm not sure... but until I rethink my opinion... this is the closest explanation of a Deringer Girl... This was about the woman I referred to as "The Good Night Girl", the girl from "Coffee and Kisses" - she was the one before the one before Rebecca... I think...

... the way she tilts her head in her subtle way when she tries to analyze the things I say... and says "hmm..." the way I do when I pretend to have things all figured out or when I fake being interested... she at least learned that about me and the way she smiles when she says and does things that many might consider - naughty - I like that - the naughty side of her but she knows when I want her to be naughty and when I need her to be the mature responsible and sensible one... and she knows when to seduce me and how to seduce me... she is a woman and never lets me forget it... "girls are for teenage boys... and men who want to be teenage boys..." she tells me... and she is right... she does not let me forget she is a woman... all woman... she is strong and independent and has learned to take care of herself. She is confident and sassy and has a sense of humor cultivated by years of trying to figure out the simple mind of men. She does not need me - but she claims to desire me... and I am fine with that, she does not try to change me or try to trick me into revealing my inner most secrets and she knows when to let me be the man... She doesn't bring her day into the relationship... unless it concerns the relationship and she claims that she has no idea why she looks for me every evening since we met... she calls in the afternoon and knows my routine... but she does not impose or show up unannounced - though I would not mind if she did. She lets her hair down when she is with me and I have yet to see her in blue jeans.... and she knows how to dress... she is sophisticated and stylish - but I have never seen any fashions magazines at her place - wait - I did see copies of Esquire there... on her night stand (But, that is a men's magazine?)... her style is Parisian but she is a small town girl trying to get to the big city... or trying to get away from it...

She is thin... and a bit pale... but she got lucky when she caught my eye - because I like them thin and pale - she is not what many would consider perfect - but she is  perfect for me... I try to get her to eat - she seems to forget to at times - she's got a lot going on... and I worry she is going through the day snacking on candy bars... she likes that I worry about her and she lets me do it... when I do get her to eat - she's a carnivore... and could care less about what others may think - all sophistication is out the window when she gets her hands on a good steak.... she knows what to do and say to keep all my attention on her - and yes, she knows how to feed my ego... and she knows how to make me want her... ah... the reverse seduction... I'll be damned! - It worked... and if another woman should arouse my interest while we our out in public she makes it perfectly clear without having to say a word of all that could be mine and all that I could lose... should I walk away from this one... and I have to say... I am totally impressed by her confidence... that is sexy... I have caught her in vulnerable moments when she was not too sure of herself... when she did not know I was spying on her... but she talked herself through it and there are times when she is in my arms that she is the complete opposite of her daytime persona... and I think she knows that I find this side of her very attractive... and she uses this to keep me wanting more... you see... I find myself wanting to spend more time with her... but - is this a game... I don't want to play... and I think she is playing for keeps - but she may still be testing me... good for her... I want her to make sure I am the right one for her... before I waste her time - put me through all your tests... you will have to work hard for this scoundrel...

She is Smart - smarter than I am - and has told me that men are often intimidated by her intellect - I told her it makes me hard... what?... it does... I'm looking to improve my family gene pool.... the smarter the chick the better - if I should get her pregnant... the kid has a fighting chance... I wasn't born with my smarts - I got it all the hard way... and she is quantum physics smart... and understands more about the human mind than she pretends to... she can play poker with the boys and have tea at the lady's book club - or whatever that is... we can go to the fights and she is as comfortable there as she is at the symphony... and she says if we were married I would have to get her season tickets and she would let me bet at the track... cool... yes - we've had that conversation... but I told her I dream of the life of a gipsy... and could she live that way... and her response was - "would you take care of me?" - "of course"... I said... and she didn't say anything else.... I have not deciphered that one yet.

... but most of all, I like the way her breath feels on the back of my neck at the moment... as I type this...and the smell of her hair... and the way she whispers my name in a Spanish accent... and she doesn't think I am going to post this...

well...