Is that the politically correct term for number one secretary?
Because that is as politically correct as I will get - besides... the job is in Chile... and I am Latin American and we are not politically correct people - it just sounds stupid... and you agree with me... you would have to agree with me as I am the boss...and you are not being hired for your opinion... unless it concerns lunch...
I find that the most urgent need to travel has come upon me the way madness creeps up on certain men of genius’ but there is work that needs to get done... and it must get done... but I must travel or the insanity will take over... with that said my personal assistant must have experience in dealing with unstable-artistic-creative types... that start projects and move on when boredom and creative dry spells set in - but if you can help to keep me motivated and the artistic juices flowing you will be greatly rewarded...
What you will be doing:
Typing... lots and lots of typing... and transcribing hours of dictated tapes and digital recordings of ideas, stories and random thoughts - you will have to organize all of these and attempt to make sense of it all.
You will review business plans and sort out what looks like a proposal worthy of my time as a financial broker... though I am slowly moving away from this business... I am going to keep milking it for as long as I can...
You will help me expand my art collection and help me to keep it archived along with my collection of first edition books - help to sort out what will be kept and what we should put out on the market - you may also have to attend auctions and bid on items online... every once in a while I will represent an artist... so you will have to have knowledge of the art industry - who’s who and who’s buying who... what’s moving and what’s shaking...
You will need an understanding of the stock market and dividends - this is not complicated and I will teach you if you don’t understand how stocks and bonds and funds work... for this you will need to speak Cantonese, Mandarin, Japanese and German... and Spanish as we are based in Chile...
You will mostly be dealing with my associate at The Celestial Elephant Paper Co. Based in India and for this you will have to have experience in graphic design, layout, pre and post printing production, public relations, advertising, editing, sales, and promotions...
You may be doing some traveling and it is recommended that you do not travel on an American passport - in fact, I am not hiring Americans. Your expenses will be taken care of and you will be staying in house - that’s my house - so you may have to make the coffee and cook, but most importantly be able to run off the over night guests before they make themselves too comfortable - for this you will have to be strong and firm and not a bit afraid to treat them like common whores... this will not happen too often... but it happens... note that I tend to stay up for a couple of days at a time and not speak - I may ignore you many times but that is simply because my mind is on other things and you should not be too sensitive about this... when my brain has had enough I will sleep... for a very long time... and there will be times when I will simply lock myself away in my room or my study and not come out for days... at this point it will be up to you to make sure that I am eating and kept hydrated... when I do emerge I may seem irritated and a bit loony... again you must be strong enough to ignore this behavior as it has nothing to do with you... But when the madness has taken complete control - I will vanish without warning or explanations and will not make contact until I have found myself at my destination - wherever in the world that may be... but of course you will have to keep close track of these times as I might also have been kid-napped or abducted... if it is a kid-napping - pay the fuckers... if it is an abduction - you should quit and find new employment... I will write a letter of recommendation before hand in case I never come back - or you could stay and manage it all in my absence since that is basically what you will be doing anyhow...
Your attire:
It is a man’s world and you will mostly be dealing with men - old men who are not American and appreciate feminine women - that means no pants and no masculine behavior - just act like a woman, behave like a woman and dress like a woman... you will be representing me so you will have to be confident, firm, sophisticated, well read, well dressed, with a touch of class and elegance... but always remember that you are feminine... you are a female... working for a madman... you type, and edit and sort... you get coffee and scotch and clean the study... you pick up the mail and send the mail and once in a while pick up from the cleaners... you file and you organize and you keep my circle small - you are the gate keeper... you are my girl Friday... keep quiet and keep my secrets secret and respect those in the circle and your opinions to yourself... unless in concerns lunch and you may just learn some things about the world and making money... Turns out I am an old fashion man - and I need an old fashioned no nonsense secretary... to help keep things running smoothly as I wander the beaches of South America...
Only serious applicants please... girls with nice legs will be given first considerations...
Because that is as politically correct as I will get - besides... the job is in Chile... and I am Latin American and we are not politically correct people - it just sounds stupid... and you agree with me... you would have to agree with me as I am the boss...and you are not being hired for your opinion... unless it concerns lunch...
I find that the most urgent need to travel has come upon me the way madness creeps up on certain men of genius’ but there is work that needs to get done... and it must get done... but I must travel or the insanity will take over... with that said my personal assistant must have experience in dealing with unstable-artistic-creative types... that start projects and move on when boredom and creative dry spells set in - but if you can help to keep me motivated and the artistic juices flowing you will be greatly rewarded...
What you will be doing:
Typing... lots and lots of typing... and transcribing hours of dictated tapes and digital recordings of ideas, stories and random thoughts - you will have to organize all of these and attempt to make sense of it all.
You will review business plans and sort out what looks like a proposal worthy of my time as a financial broker... though I am slowly moving away from this business... I am going to keep milking it for as long as I can...
You will help me expand my art collection and help me to keep it archived along with my collection of first edition books - help to sort out what will be kept and what we should put out on the market - you may also have to attend auctions and bid on items online... every once in a while I will represent an artist... so you will have to have knowledge of the art industry - who’s who and who’s buying who... what’s moving and what’s shaking...
You will need an understanding of the stock market and dividends - this is not complicated and I will teach you if you don’t understand how stocks and bonds and funds work... for this you will need to speak Cantonese, Mandarin, Japanese and German... and Spanish as we are based in Chile...
You will mostly be dealing with my associate at The Celestial Elephant Paper Co. Based in India and for this you will have to have experience in graphic design, layout, pre and post printing production, public relations, advertising, editing, sales, and promotions...
You may be doing some traveling and it is recommended that you do not travel on an American passport - in fact, I am not hiring Americans. Your expenses will be taken care of and you will be staying in house - that’s my house - so you may have to make the coffee and cook, but most importantly be able to run off the over night guests before they make themselves too comfortable - for this you will have to be strong and firm and not a bit afraid to treat them like common whores... this will not happen too often... but it happens... note that I tend to stay up for a couple of days at a time and not speak - I may ignore you many times but that is simply because my mind is on other things and you should not be too sensitive about this... when my brain has had enough I will sleep... for a very long time... and there will be times when I will simply lock myself away in my room or my study and not come out for days... at this point it will be up to you to make sure that I am eating and kept hydrated... when I do emerge I may seem irritated and a bit loony... again you must be strong enough to ignore this behavior as it has nothing to do with you... But when the madness has taken complete control - I will vanish without warning or explanations and will not make contact until I have found myself at my destination - wherever in the world that may be... but of course you will have to keep close track of these times as I might also have been kid-napped or abducted... if it is a kid-napping - pay the fuckers... if it is an abduction - you should quit and find new employment... I will write a letter of recommendation before hand in case I never come back - or you could stay and manage it all in my absence since that is basically what you will be doing anyhow...
Your attire:
It is a man’s world and you will mostly be dealing with men - old men who are not American and appreciate feminine women - that means no pants and no masculine behavior - just act like a woman, behave like a woman and dress like a woman... you will be representing me so you will have to be confident, firm, sophisticated, well read, well dressed, with a touch of class and elegance... but always remember that you are feminine... you are a female... working for a madman... you type, and edit and sort... you get coffee and scotch and clean the study... you pick up the mail and send the mail and once in a while pick up from the cleaners... you file and you organize and you keep my circle small - you are the gate keeper... you are my girl Friday... keep quiet and keep my secrets secret and respect those in the circle and your opinions to yourself... unless in concerns lunch and you may just learn some things about the world and making money... Turns out I am an old fashion man - and I need an old fashioned no nonsense secretary... to help keep things running smoothly as I wander the beaches of South America...
Only serious applicants please... girls with nice legs will be given first considerations...
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