chasing simple moments...

I chase after simple moments... solitary beaches and lonely forests... oceans of clouds from atop a rocky mountain forgotten by time... those places and moments that the devil himself cannot deny -  bring a little peace to the soul... the smell of the rain coming down on Hong Kong... the colors of the setting sun over the valleys of the Atacama... the clouds rolling off that great mountain in Honshu...

Give me an uncomplicated life... a simple cottage by the sea... or in a green valley fortified by tall trees and ageless mountains... let me tend my flock of sheep by day and wonder at the starry skies at night... give me rest in the arms of a young maiden from the east... unspoiled by the modern world and in need of protecting... just a simple romance... built on sly glances and delicate gestures... and gentle kisses that always lead to unforgivable lust...

Give me a long quiet journey on the railways as long as the Trans-Siberian Express... to watch the world fall into chaos from the safety of my cabin surrounded by my books and my maps... pastries and bottles of wine... I’ll lose myself in the drunken fantasies of nights long ago when by mistake I lived as a sultan indulged by a harem in a haze of the forbidden Hashish...

Give me a sturdy ship... come from legend and myth... that carries the echoes of a lonely sailors’ song caught in it’s sail with the fading scent of pipe smoke... and ballads from young maidens left behind on lost islands in those crowded Asian waters... I want the calm before the storm... I want the strength of the solitary victory after it has passed... I want to be lost under constellations I can not name... racing dolphins and wales and mystic creatures in my foolish dreams... under a moon that glows as soft as the light of a candle reflecting off the side of a pearl...

chasing winter...

I run after your foot prints along the shore on cold lonely beaches...
I chase the echo of your voice through wooded mountains and lose it in the mist...
Down snow covered slopes I tumble after your sighs...
I abandon legions of angels in the blizzard to stumble blind in pursuit of your perfume...

The devil and his brood I leave behind in a forest cave - for the magic and the mystery I might find in your glance...
I have left the warm of the fire and the company of the tribe - for the salt of your skin... the moans of your lust... the desperation and the passion of your tears...

I am a band apart... I am that lonely wolf... the brave lost in the wasteland... the madman on the hill... forgotten by God... rejected by the muse... discarded by destiny...
I have only the strength of this mindless... delusional... pursuit of you...

Chasing your ghost... is chasing winter... in the valley of madness...

Dash Deringer: Suspicious Character

WARNING: there is some very hard language in the following post... it may offend and upset some... you have been warned...

I try to avoid traveling to the States at all costs... but sometimes it is just unavoidable and I must make my way back to the North... I am hoping that soon enough I will never have to go back... don’t get me wrong - I love the United States of America... or at the very least... the one I remember growing up in... but that country is gone forever... and is never coming back... it isn’t, so don’t try to fool yourself... it has fallen too far into... well... it’s just not coming back... and I want to have nothing to do with this new America... It is not for a man like me... and it does not want me anyhow... I am a man from another time searching for my place in this world... a world were men can still be men... and free men at that... and the states... just isn’t that place...

Dash Deringer: Suspicious Character

I think for my self, I speak my mind, I’ll give it to you straight - whether you want it or not... and I don’t give a damn if I offend you or hurt your delicate little feelings... I am not politically correct... I throw around racial slurs like I’m throwing away pennies and candy to children and the poor... so get fucking over it...

I wont date American women any more... I just wont... Being back in South America again I have gotten too accustomed to the charms and femininity of Latin women... their passion and vulnerability, their warmth and kindness... their openness and gentle caring nature... they are not afraid of men and strangers that approach them... they are not suspicious and they are not sluttish like their American counterparts... They are women... and do not compete with men... they want men... they love men... and they let the man be the man... and I find myself lately dating very young women... the last five girls I have been with - not one of them has been over twenty five... and being in South America... no one gives you shit about it... this is natural in Latin Cultures... when I date young girls in the states I always get nasty looks from women... I have also decided that I will no longer date anyone over twenty five... ever...  Deal with it...

I have worked hard and sacrificed much to get to the position I am in - I went for years without having much just so that I can have much now... I am not a man that is chasing too many material possessions... but I am thankful and grateful and very happy for the things I do have... I believe that a man is entitled by GOD and the universe to keep what he has earned with his blood, sweat and tears... earned with his time and effort and money... and that a man has every right to protect and keep what is his... I believe I should be able to keep the money I earned and be able to take it with me... but in the land of the free... this just isn’t the case... and if you want to keep what’s rightfully yours... you have to think like a criminal... I just want what I worked hard for...

I like my privacy... This also makes you a deviant criminal in the north... privacy is the essence of freedom... the president feels otherwise... what can one do? I do not own a cell phone... I am not on facebook and I do not twitter... I do not blog about every damn thing in my life... I am quite the anti-blogger... looking for a social network for anti social people... if something important happens and I want to share it with you - I will... or not... I don’t leave too many comment on the sites I lurk around in and try to keep my opinions to my self... I try... outside of the Deringer Files, to keep my opinions to my self...

I do not believe in socialism... paying taxes for things I do not want or need to give those that do not have a more comfortable life... the poor in the united states actually have more than poor in other countries - but they need more... what they need are jobs... and dignity... and pride... they need to be taught what honor is... they do not need to be given free shit that I am paying for... If the government was on the side of the poor and underprivileged they would make it easier for those that can create jobs to do so... more tax breaks and less paperwork... America is a land of privileges not a land of freedom - if you do not have the proper licenses and permits... you are a domestic fucking terrorist... live the way you want to live on your own land... try it fucker... see how free you are... I’ll take my businesses where they are wanted... where they will be appreciated... where I will be appreciated...

I want to be left alone to fail and succeed... to live my life on my terms... I want to be responsible for my self and those I bring into this world... I have given no man power over my life - no bureaucrat knows what is best for me... no social worker knows what I need... no government program can do it better than I can do it for myself... I know how to save money and I know how to make money... I know how to take care of my self... I know how to survive... I have done it before all by self and I will continue and do it again... I pulled myself out of the abyss... out of poverty... out of the chaos... by my self...

I believe in Christianity... I do! I believe that GOD created the universe to work a certain way and that everything in the creation has a purpose... everything was created to work and operate in a given way and nature has its laws... I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior...  This is my belief... mine... I will not force this on you... do not try to take it away from me... with that said... I believe that by the laws of nature certain things are meant to be the way nature intended them to be... there fore - I do not approve of homosexual behavior... but  - as I will never force my beliefs onto anyone else... I will not get involved in whatever it is you believe in - so...  You can fuck each other in the ass and suck that shit covered cock all you want... it is none of my business what you do with your life... but don’t tell me that I am wrong and don’t make me a criminal because I don’t approve of it nor want to take part in it... you live your life and I’ll live mine...

I will not apologize for these words... and will not respond to e-mails like I did over the Executive Assistant post...

You see... how very un-American of me...

If you are one of those delicate readers... whose feelings are hurt... that is your problem... I lose readers all the time and have been blocked from visiting sites - simply because someone did not like something they read here... at this silly little poetry blog... and it turns out that I actually have more readers than I thought - thanks to feeds sites... those RSS reader sites - or whatever they are called... well. Thanks... for coming by... Thank you to my readers that keep coming back and to those that always inspire me... and thank you to the one that has been following me since the beginning...


These are my thoughts and feelings... and they really shouldn’t have any effect on your thoughts and feelings... because really... why should you care or let it bother you... There are more important things to invest your energy in...If your life is not as wonderful and beautiful and carefree as mine... do something about it... What makes my life so wonderful and beautiful... the things I believe in and the simple fact that I don’t give a fuck what you think about me... I don’t... and that is how I find freedom in an unfree world.

So why write this... because I can...

a muse in the making

She reads her magazines and news papers on the floor... laying on her stomach...
 

She walks around barefooted and always says her feet are cold...

She will not wear her glasses or contacts and squints to see everything too far away...
 

She collects books of puzzles... and tries hard... but... she has never finished a puzzle...

She talks to the television screen and makes loud comments when she reads the papers... mostly about how stupid people are...
 

She orders the same food every time we go out to eat...
 

She takes me on long walks around Valparaiso... after dinner... and makes up stories about events that never happened in some places... like the stories I invent about places I have never seen...
 

She loves dogs... but doesn’t want to keep one...
 

She gets emotional over babies... and says she wants a big family...
 

She loves to visit big cities... but needs to be close to nature...
 

She loves to go sailing... but the sea actually frightens her...
 

She is thin and delicate and very, very feminine...
 

She can talk for quite a long time about whatever is on her mine... and there have been days when we never said a word...
 

She sits at the edge of the tub and watches me shave in the morning... but she is to scared to shave me...
 

She stresses the importance of after noon naps... I couldn’t agree with her more...
 

She doesn’t ask about my business... she says it is not important... but I know that it really is...
 

She is practical and uncomplicated... so far... and she says I think too much and am way too complex...
 

She handles my perversions and insanity quite well...
 

She looks out at the sea and she looks like she wants to cry behind her smile...
 

She gets excited by the rain... and the thought of snow... and thunder and lightning...
 

She dances for me in the study... not very good... but I like it...
 

She bakes cookies... and cakes... and we have been known to eat cookies and cake for breakfast...
 

She can not hold her wine... and tries to seduce me when she drinks too much... but she just ends up passing out in my arms...
 

She doesn’t like going to bed alone... and she does not like waking up without me there...
 

She looks great without make-up... but I have never told her...
 

She wears my shirts and my boxers around the house and not much else...
 

She makes love slowly... on top of me... and stays there for a long time when she has finished with me...
 

She whispers my name at night... as we lay in the darkness before we fall asleep... and when I respond to her and say  - yes, baby... she just sighs and moves in closer to me... and settles in for the night...
 

She leaves letters and photos of her in my bag when I have to travel... so when I find myself feeling alone in North America... I will remember that she is waiting for me in Valparaiso... and I miss her...