I have always been a loner... always have enjoyed my own company and time to myself... I have always been a dreamer and wanderer...
There was a time when I was young when my family did not have much money - so I did not have too many toys to play with, but I had my imagination and the streets and the courtyard to play in and fill my time... creating worlds and adventures all to my own... and strangely - even all by myself playing in my imaginary world I managed to get myself into trouble... that’s talent!
As I got older and made friends I still preferred being alone - I just always felt out place with others - well... It took me a long time to find my own crowd... but still... when you are young you are told that you need friends - but I don’t think you do... when I was young I never shared any thing significant with my friends... no deep thoughts... no dreams and fears... no hopes and aspirations... we just drank... and drank some more... my friends from high school are no longer my friends and I have not seen or spoken to them in many years - and I have no desire to do so... one of my closest friends from high school once told me I had no soul when I first started to build my first studio... he actually told me that I had lost my soul - when I was chasing after my dreams... fuck him... another close friend of mine let me get jumped by a gang of six in Juarez one night - a case of mistaken identity - and would not help me because of something he blames me for that I had no control over... fuck him too... even the friends I had after high school when I was working in the clubs are no longer around... I went around the world and have gathered a simple clan... (outside of my family) that I keep close to me - and even they are in other parts of the world... but we do share the same ideals... the same goals... and we’ve all chased after the gold and the glory together... we rarely get together as we did a couple of moths ago... and I will get together with one of them on occasion - mostly with Cris Montes... but I am mostly alone
I did not pay attention until some one brought it to me - that most of my writings are about women... well... there it is... I enjoy women... apparently, many women... why I have ended up writing mostly about women I am not sure... The Deringer Files was always going to by a place to post my silly poetry... and there was a time in another format when The Deringer Files was getting too political - but after getting too many post vanish from the wire I stopped... and I try not to state my views on many subjects on line - that is why I don’t place too many comments on the sites I linger on. I also don’t do any social networking on-line... I don’t really know why I am here... I don’t care about creating the biggest blog on the web and as some might know - I loose readers - new readers that come and linger then get offended - or their image of me is shattered and they leave... and I have been blocked from sites for some remark I made here or posted on some ones site... I once lost a reader from Asia because I said I did not like women with tattoos... she came and left and meant nothing to me as I never knew who she was until she sent a comment telling me that people think tattoos are sexy - whatever... she didn’t like my opinion and left... Dagmar says it will be hard for us to sell books if people don’t like me... well... there it is - I can pick up women but I can’t make friends... I’ll be fine...
The women are just a part of the journey... but they are at the bottom of my priorities... For Dash Deringer, the solitary man, spends quite a lot of his time planning and scheming and preparing ways to make money... and just as much time planning and scheming and preparing ways to keep what I have earned... I am basically self employed... or as I say - self sustained... which requires a lot of alone time... most of it is learning and making contacts... maintaining those contacts and cultivating them... there are people who don’t care about my personal opinions as long as I make them money and I feel the same way... separate your feelings from the money and we’ll do business... but it is getting harder to even do that... but I make it work.. The women - they come and go... I enjoy the company of young ladies but I enjoy more the time I spend alone... time to think... to read and to learn new things... time to write and draw and paint... time to work out and exercise... time to go for a long walk - to hike and go camping and spend time out in nature alone and get myself centered in mind and spirit... time alone to be one with the sea... to sit in silence on a lonely beach... I can’t be alone with women around - they require attention... they require drama... can women just be alone... without their phones and no computer and no one around just to be alone? Not in my experience - women get bored and they move on to someone else... you can do anything to a woman... but don’t let her get bored with you...
Being a self sustained man - I only require a woman’s company for one thing... and that I prefer not to do alone... but alone I prefer and chose to be - I am not lonely... I am alone
while surfing the hot sheets I came across this Norman Rockwell... that man could be me...
If you ask me - What are you looking for?
I will tell you - a simple uncomplicated life.
Ask me - What do you want?
And I will say - My little house by the sea... my little boat... my freedom... my money... and my clan.
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