The dream is not over

a Public Response to Jackson and others 

who are wondering about The Iron Legion

Thanks -
You didn't by chance save any writings of Simon from The Iron Legion blog did you?

I had collected them all - unfortunately they are in a hard drive I cannot open...
I don't even have other copies of the stuff I wrote that he published over there...

Since the site went down I get a couple of emails a week of people asking what happened - will it be back and of course the regular what happened to Simon seekers... I have no answer - I wish I did - I miss that site - it inspired me and others as you know... this site was nothing until I started commenting at Iron Legion and the views exploded - but this site was and really still is far removed from what Simon was doing... and since I have come out of the closet as a Hard Right Monarchist (without a Monarch) - I still get men looking for more of something that resembles what Simon was doing... I feel bad for having no answers and not being able to fill those shoes... and in some way I feel obliged to carry on with Simon's message but I ended up forming a small tribe of my own and that turned into a business venture with more responsibilities and I have my own stuff going on... ya know... life and it constant bull-shit...

But I can tell you and others this - the dream is not over until you let it go or walk away from it... I have not walked away from it - In fact I keep moving closer and closer to the dream - I said I would keep you in the loop but the truth is there is nothing to inform you on - when something comes I will let you know... "Deringerville" has not happened - yet... but it does not mean that it will not... it just hasn't happened yet... people were interested in the plan but they could not abandon and walk away from their responsibilities and the regular bullshit of everyday life - for whatever reasons... that is alright - it is as you stated once - a big project... but it will happen - others have done it, I know I can do it too - it was and I believe still is Simon's dream - in fact I hope he built it somewhere in Europe...

And here for those that never read it and for those that need a refresher is where to begin...

Separation In Place

By Simon Wolfe

 First Published at The Iron Legion

The need for separation, on many levels, is clear. This is my outline for a system I call separation in place. It is my initial thoughts, and is far from the actual nuts and bolts of what would be required to enact it, however even this basic outline runs to over three thousand words as it is, so make yourself comfortable and take as long as you need.

The Need to Separate

Democracy has been a rigged game since the start, and it will only get worse for us, so we deem it better not to play. Voting is pointless and is against reactionary principles by default but the resurgence of nationalist and quasi-nationalist political parties in Europe is an encouraging sign of both a growing nationalist sentiment and a lack of trust in the established political parties and the democratic framework within which they work.

The fact remains however, that we will not survive democracy and we need to organise and prepare in such a way as to exercise the self defence of ourselves as a distinct people as enshrined in natural law. There are moral principles which are far older than the laws written by men. A man’s survival is one of them, and so is the survival of a people. In a conflict between our survival and the laws of men, our survival takes precedence.

There is no place for men or tradition in modern society. Instead of complaining or doing backflips trying to re-engineer ourselves into modern society, the proper masculine response is to make a new society. A society within a society. If that means that the society with no place for men and tradition is destroyed, then so be it. This is the path modern society is heading down anyway. A society with no place for men and tradition is doomed, as it has excised the forces which bind it together. Such a society deserves death, and it is inevitable. Our society will be designed to withstand the collapse of the current order, and preserve our people and traditions.

People are waking up to this and are beginning to question the validity of the status quo, and we must be there to show them the answers to their questions. There are people who may not identify themselves as reactionaries but who are increasingly dissatisfied with the modern world and we must show them the way out. I specifically used the word show there. There is a simple but fundamental maxim in writing: show, don’t tell. People do not want to be told, they want to be shown. Showing is far more powerful than simply telling. Tell a man that it was a dark and stormy night and he will switch off. Show him the howling of wind and the crack and bang of the storm as it lights up the trees and you are speaking to his soul.

We need to stop telling people and start showing them. People know the system doesn’t work but they are fed up with hearing about it. They shrug their shoulders and say ‘what can we do?’ We will show them. People talk of the power of ideas but ideas are only given power when they are turned into action by men. This is how we will show them.

Separation In Place

We must hit the eject button and bail out from a broken, failing and increasingly hostile system. We must separate on a physical, spiritual, moral and financial level. There is no physical place left for us to retreat to, no unclaimed territory we can colonise, and nor should we wish to, so we must do what I term ‘separate in place’.

Separating in place means creating a society within a society. A civilisation within a civilisation. Although we may have to co-exist within the physical boundaries of an existing system, we become increasingly divorced from it as our strength grows. It means taking responsibility for our community and our interests ourselves, instead of abdicating them to a government and a system which is showing itself as increasingly disinterested, amoral and hostile. Is there a moral difference between those who invade our communities and those who invite and encourage them to do so, and subsequently turn a blind eye to the crimes they commit?

Third world immigrants do exactly this process of separating in place when they come to our countries. They occupy the same spaces as us, but do not integrate. They converse in their native tongue. They build places of worship for themselves. They have their own schools, shops and businesses that cater to and employ only their own people. They don’t settle at random, they congregate together and take over communities. They create no-go zones that are hostile to outsiders and dismissive of the law and police have neither the will nor ability to change that. Local government means very little to these communities. They police themselves according to their own laws and customs. They have their own courts. They have their own hierarchy and forms of government entirely separate from our own. They do all this in spite of the law  and government largely acquiesces to their will and these insular societies are flourishing whilst the larger indigenous society around them declines. They are preserving their traditions, their faith, their customs and fashions in a society that is losing all of that. This then, working within the system but separate and against it, and for ourselves, is what we should be doing.

Separate Physically

Separating in place means gradually divorcing ourself from government whilst still occupying the territory that it notionally controls. One of our biggest shortcomings is our dispersal through a highly atomised society. As society declines further we will become increasingly isolated and vulnerable unless we concentrate our forces and band together. This means taking the talk offline and meeting in person. It means living closer together to one another. It means evacuating the soulless multicultural urban centres and retaking the land. Ideally this means rural communities made up entirely of traditional minded families and founded on reactionary principles.

This is a lofty goal, and may not be immediately achievable for many. This is a project that will outlive us, and may not be fully realised within our lifetimes. We are planting the seeds of a new society that will emerge from the ashes of the current one. Anything you can do today that will take you from your current position and move you towards the desired end point is a tiny victory in a long war. However we must remember that the system is unsustainable and will fail eventually, with or without our help. We must ensure that we are ready for it, and prepared to survive it.

We’ve already briefly touched on what can be done to identify and recruit people who think the same as us and create new communities, and it is also very well laid out here at the wonderfully written Southern Reaction blog ‘Losing the Creek’ under the principles of Reaction Implies Action. The imperative is to build, with one eye on the desired goal, however far away that may take, and the intermediate steps we can take to get us there.

This strategy of creating cohesive communities separate from the existing order will bring us into greater conflict with a government that wants to keep squeezing us for taxes in order to further attack us. The more resistance we exert, the greater attention and conflict we bring on ourselves. We need to measure our resistance against how much conflict we can bear. Resisting too strongly without sufficient support will attract negative attention and a possibly violent response that we are not yet strong enough to withstand. But where we do have some measure of local, popular support, not resisting strongly enough is a wasted opportunity. We must calibrate the strength of our resistance to the support we have and adjust our strategy accordingly.

With regards to our active resistance we should seek to be slightly ahead of the curve with respect to popular support. That is, separating and resisting slightly more aggressively than popular opinion would allow. We are a movement heading rightward and our leading edge should be slightly to the right of the right hand edge of the Overton Window. Lead, project strength and people will follow and as more people follow, our support will grow. As our support grows so will that right hand edge of the Overton Window follow to catch us, allowing us to resist yet further. We do not wait for opportunities, we seize the initiative and create them. The fourth commandment of the Fallschirmjäger: ‘Be calm and prudent, strong and resolute. Valour and enthusiasm of an offensive spirit will cause you to prevail in the attack.’

The Blood of Heroes

This is of course, the dangerous talk of madmen. Remember, any time people have won their freedom, they did it by circumventing or opposing the laws of men. The American revolutionaries created their nation by breaking the law. They were men who had a quarrel with the existing order. Their support wasn’t universal.  In the early days there were still many loyalists who were content with the status quo, but the revolutionaries, like us today, were not content to accept the soft yoke of slavery, no matter how well disguised it was. The revolution began slowly. Active resistance to the empire started as bands of disaffected men turning to smuggling to avoid paying taxes towards a system they believed offered them no representation and was violating their natural rights. As the Empire attempted to exert its authority, popular support for it waned, the revolutionaries grew bolder and took up arms. Whether by accident or design, the revolutionaries had managed to advance their resistance in line with the depth of popular support for their cause. Eventually the war was won, the Empire withdrew and a new civilisation founded on principles was born.

“The blood of the heroes is closer to God than the ink of the philosophers and the prayers of the faithful.”     – Julius Evola

Old power structures eventually collapse and die. Eventually the British Empire evaporated entirely. I don’t think that anybody could seriously suggest that Britain will ever pursue or prosecute the descendants of the revolutionaries for the crimes they committed in the pursuance of their natural rights. So too will the current order die. We will make our own society, built to withstand the collapse of the current one. There will be a struggle in its death throes but eventually we will remain standing and there will be nothing left of it to attack us.

Separate Spiritually and Morally

The separated community needs to be founded on distinct principles of faith and morality. Our faith and moral values are rooted in the traditions of our ancestors and are not subject to the whims and interpretations of modern progressive society. If people wish to remain as members of the community then they must adhere to these principles.

The separated community is a reaction to the erosion of faith, tradition and identity in the modern world by those who want to preserve these things. There must be a clear definition of those who are in the community, and those who are not. It’s them and us. An inclusive society where everybody is free to join is exactly the problem we are seeking to avoid.

There will be order and rules, and those who wish to be a part of the community will obey them and those who can not or will not will have to take their chances out in the modern world. The ideal situation is a successful and attractive community that preserves traditional values, seduces like-minded people away from the failing modern world and encourages them to stay and fulfil their obligations because of the advantages of being a part of that community.

If people don’t want to live in a society that believes in Christian values, tradition and separated gender roles then they are free to stay in the modern world with its collapsing financial system, the erosion of liberties and morals and their children under attack by a dangerous progressive decline. They can find their own way to protect themselves from the decline of society. This however, is our solution and you are either in or you are out.

There are young girls growing up dreaming about getting married and having children but men shy away from marriage because they perceive it as a risky bet, and in modern society it is. In our new, re-forged society we will return marriage and family to its previous position as the cornerstone of society. In our new society, promiscuity and divorce will be frowned upon as it always was.

People will no longer be able to skip out on their responsibilities like they can in modern society. Nobody will be a prisoner, but they will be expected to adhere to their responsibilities and those that fail to do so would no longer be a part of the community. When our society is demonstrably safe, happy and successful, being cast out back to the ruins of the modern world will be the most powerful deterrent to amoral behaviour. In more ancient times it was not death, but exile that was often the most serious penalty.

The members of our society are those alive today, those who are yet to be born, and those who have lived before. Just as we need to think that all the boys are our sons, and all the girls are our daughters, so too are all the elderly our parents. They are the link between ourselves and our ancestors. We need to fight back against the atomisation of our society, and protect the most vulnerable members.

Be actively engaged in your community. If you see an elderly neighbour who needs a fence repaired, or their yard is overgrown, offer your help, for free. Maybe their family moved out of town, or they have been waiting six months for the local council to do something. Anything you can do to delegitimise the existing system, demonstrate its ineffectiveness and lack of humanity, strengthens our position. Everybody knows that the existing system is amoral and inhumane but they don’t know what to do about it. They don’t want to hear yet more complaints about it. Show, don’t tell.

One day that elderly person’s relatives may call round to thank you for taking the time to repair that fence or clean up their yard. That is your opportunity to tell them why you did it. Gently, at first. Explain the community that we are building. The left talk peace and love, but what they do is protest, demonstrate and lean on the implicit violence of government to enforce their agenda. There is a dissonance between what they say and what they do. Reactionaries don’t stand on corners, we build cornerstones.

In the modern world, where everything is reduced down to its monetary value, the offering of your time for free is unusual all by itself. People will be surprised, fascinated and curious. To quote the great Romanian nationalist leader Corneliu Codreanu’s law of silence: ‘Speak little. Say only what you must. Speak only when necessary. Your oratory should be deeds, not words. You accomplish, let others talk.’ Or to put it more succinctly, show, don’t tell.

Separate Financially

I would venture that at its most fundamental level we just need land and the men to work it and defend it. With faith, everything else will follow from that. Men will work the land and provide the resources to the community. With land and people we can supply our own food and water. We can build our own homes. We can do the wiring and the plumbing. We can provide the security, police and justice systems. We are the disaffected men who already do this for a hostile system. Instead we should be doing this separately, for ourselves. Leave the world that hates us and see how it fares without our support.

By working together there would be a surplus of resources that could be traded with the outside world. We are not particularly interested in the paper money of the outside world, but it has its uses and we are not entirely removed from the system. We are separated, but still in place. For the moment there are still land taxes to be paid, and they can only be paid in cash.

As much as possible, people, and eventually the communities they form, should be self-sufficient. Do not rely on big utility companies for your needs. Collect rainwater and sink a well and get fresh water from the ground, for free. Generate as much electricity from solar, wind or water power as you can and reduce your dependence on the grid. Burn wood or coal that you gather yourselves. This is the way humans have survived for centuries and it no less possible today.

Even as an individual family there are steps one can take to separate from the system financially. Remember separation in place is a gradual process, it is not going off the grid overnight. Do as much as you can with what you have available. If you need more space then move. Grow your own food, even if all you have available is a small vegetable patch. Keep a few hens for eggs, or fatten up a pig. Keep bees and you will have more honey than you know what to do with. Trade within the community, hold onto the value of your labour and pay no taxes to the government. These are all little things which grant you increased independence from a failing system that will one day collapse. 

These are small steps on a long journey and every thing you can do takes you further from the clutches of the existing system and closer towards the goal. The revolution starts at home, with you.

That is not to say that we should forgo all of the trappings of modernity. We are after all separating in place, not exiling ourselves to the desert. We will not deprive ourselves of useful things like antibiotics and modern medicine. These things were invented by our ancestors, it would be arrogant and foolish to turn our backs on them. There are some things that a small community cannot do alone, and until we are strong enough to provide these things for ourselves, they will have to be scavenged from the old world. Accusations of unfair double standards? Who cares. Survival is the moral imperative.

Everyone should seek to limit the amount of money they provide to the system. Money provided to the government will only be used against you in one way or another, be it as foreign aid, progressive propaganda in schools or subsidising urban black criminals to reproduce. This is separation in place remember, so limiting the amount ones pays in taxes is done aggressively and incrementally in line with law and the weight of support.

Welfare and public money is an interesting case. While on the one hand we disagree with the forced redistribution of wealth by government, it is a weapon to use against the current order. Although fundamentally opposed to the modern something-for-nothing welfare state I believe that everybody should extract as much money from the system as possible in order to accelerate its decline, especially while it would demand land and property taxes levied against our bought and paid for land. Unfair double standards? Again, who cares? Use the enemy against itself.

As the government debt piles up, its legitimacy shrinks. As taxes rise in line with bloated public spending and to service the increasing public debt, more people will reject the current system. Money the government spends on welfare is money that they cannot use to fight us.

some kind of magic

It was too good - it couldn't last

this is a public response to a private letter

(for the record... and these files)

Well girl... you found me...

Now what?

Pick up where we left off...

Watching you walk away... to go back to him – whoever he was... I never knew and I never cared... the only thing that mattered was what was real when you were with me... if it was real at all... and at this phase of my life... I don't care any more to know... because these days I don't know what's real anymore any way...

But you played a good game... we made some fine love... and when we locked ourselves away in my little room there was nothing outside our universe and the world we created... only God could make it any better... but as you reminded me... you had to leave... and as you remind me... I had nowhere to go and nowhere to be... what good could I have been to you outside that room?

But as I have told others that find their way here – you never got a chance to see me shine... but yeah... maybe I have just hit my prime... so here I am... and as you may have guessed... I am very much the same man... I have no real ambition... but life has gotten easier... and I can afford to not care and just lounge around... there is plenty and nothing to worry about except how to keep it... just saying... I'm the same ass-hole I was before I got it... I am still – apparently... worthless... outside the bedroom... but I have you to thank for those skills in a big way...

You taught me how to fuck... you know what I mean... it's all we did – for three days – some times four days straight... every man should get so lucky to find a girl like you – but you found me, that's right... and you left when the thrill of it all was over for you... or something like that – doesn't matter –

no...

I do not think bad about you – the only memories I have of you are - sex... what else was there... I can barely recall our conversations... what the hell did we talk about in those moments between the love making...?

I have never spoken of you – though I have made references to the girl that taught me how to fuck... never mentioned you by name and never acknowledged you publicly until now – and I have thought of you often... even after having sex with other women... because the move I had just used on her to drive her into an orgasmic mental break down – I had mastered with you – respect...

I can only smile when I think of you – I hope you feel the same way about me...

 so...

Let's just leave it as it ended... going our different ways... with nothing left behind but the fading echoes of the love we made in that little universe on Grand Avenue...

All you have to do is change the way you think

This was first posted at

"A Kings Castle"

Sometime in October 2017

(link not available - because I can't find it yet)

All you have to do...

Is change the way you think and you will change your life, no matter what situation you are in or your circumstance – the way you think about it will determine how you feel about it and that will result in your attitude – this is where I am because of this and that, and it's “their” fault, and I can't do anything about it... or are you pissed off enough to make the changes you have to make and work through the struggles and make the sacrifices that must be made to change the situation – do you believe you were made for something better and this temporary mishap is just part of a test... or are you simply indifferent and don't care where you are and how you got there... because shit happens... and it does my friends... many times shit just happens that had nothing to do with the choices that you made and your life... it was out of your control... but the next step is most definitely up to you.

For many of us our parents had nothing to teach us about the world – the things that really mattered, what we would need to go from boys to men, no skills or trade to pass down, nothing about money, no traditions to preserve, no rituals to observe, no tribal honor to protect... nothing, because they had nothing themselves – you went to school and where given nothing outside of reading writing and mathematics to help you as an adult, and then if you were fool enough you went to a university you could not afford in hopes of finding a high paying job so that you can pay off the loans you got for that education that turned out to be worthless – how much good did it really do you?

Want to know what the adults around me told me when I was young – they said study hard and go to college or they would say join the military... no one around me ever encouraged me or told me to learn a trade... to develop any artistic talents, to enhance my communication skills and become a sales man (and I was a sales man at one point – but no one taught me how it was done or steered me in the direction to learn the trade). No one ever told me were the high paying trade jobs were working the oil fields (and my dad worked in oil at one point – but no one ever encouraged me to go into it or explain all the opportunities there). No one ever told me that I did not have to go to college to sell life insurance or to become a broker

No one ever encouraged me to save money and start my own business when I was young – but when I did, those around me told me I was dumb for doing it because I did not know what I was doing or that it was a stupid idea and it will not work – “stop dreaming” my family told me “and get a real job...” know what I did – I quit, because all those around me filled my head with the idea that I would fail – so instead of persevering and pushing on, I quit... and I kept quitting... that was my failure... now, I won't lie to you, it did take me a very long time to shake those words and thoughts out of my head... and a big part of that was not letting anyone know what it was I was doing and I went forward with the intent of proving that I could do it (whatever it was I was working on). And it worked... and also... I was just pissed off at everyone.

I know, friends, making changes is not easy because you have been shaped through many years by those around you and society at large to be the way you are now – but take a very good look at your life and ask yourself if this is what you want – to live as others want you to... to think as others want you to – that may be fine for the socialist marching to the same do-gooder chant... but I know it can't be good enough for you.

“Be careful what you water your dreams with, water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dreams, water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success”

- Lao Tzu

So let us start to make those changes

Change #1. know what it is that you truly want – I thought I wanted to be rich, but it turned out that what I rally wanted was what being rich could afford me – the life of freedom – freedom to come and go as I please, freedom to live my life without explanations or excuses... freedom to say what ever the hell I want to say and not be afraid of loosing my job for it, freedom to give the world the finger and say “f*ck you, and thanks for all the whores...” and disappear into the night. No, you don't need money to do all that but, buddy, it's better to be able to do it in style.

So figure out what it truly is that you want and figure out the ways to get it – money is just a tool, it is important to remember that – money is not the thing that you want, it is the thing that money will get you – focus on that thing not the money – the dream you are chasing... the house, the car, the girl... the boat, the island, the shade of that tree in a green valley far from the madness of the modern world... find out what it is that you truly want and break it down so that you can describe it in just a couple sentences on an index card... and simply just focus on that thing that you want and move in the direction of it.

“Cause you can't get what you want – 'till you know what you want”

- Joe Jackson

Change #2. Take advantage of all and every opportunity that comes your way – and think it through before you say yes or no – No, I don't have a problem moving garbage around for money... yes, I have a problem thieving... no, I don't have a problem being separated from my family for months at a time in order to provide for them... yes, I do have a problem lying and cheating...

there are opportunities coming and going if you are paying attention to the world around you but you do have to know how much of your dignity and honor you are willing to sacrifice for the sake of getting the things that you want... is doing something today that will bite you in the ass tomorrow worth it – today? Is doing something that could potentially land you in the slammer worth it? These choices are up to you – but remember that the choices you make you must man up and own them... you can't just say – shit happens on that one.

But do take advantage of all opportunities – and if there are none then create them – when you look around you and see crowds of people looking down at their phones walking into each-other like dummies – did you go out to buy a phone just like theirs or did you set up a stand to sell them phones? When everyone was getting tattoos did you rush out to get one too or did you partner up with an artist and open up a tattoo parlor? When the government told it's citizens that by law they had to have insurance did you go out and get insurance or did you invest in an insurance company that was going to raise their rates? Starting to see the opportunities now – don't be a sucker... play that sucker for all you can get... but be honest about it with yourself about your intentions and your goal. Right now the Company google is purging right leaning and conservative ideas from their platforms – the one that provides a new platform for those looking for it, that can equal or surpass the service the Google and YouTube provided will have fat stacks of cash, my friends – and just because some one else is doing it does not mean that you cannot – you just have to give more and care more about the people giving you their money.

“Few people recognize opportunity, becomes it comes disguised as hard work”

- Cary Grant

Change #3. Change your space. Change how you live, by this I mean you have to change who and what you surround yourself with. It has been said that you are the people you hangout with – so, if it is true that you are hanging out with a bunch of layabouts that do nothing but play video games and smoke pot all night – then chances are that is all you will add up to yourself, when you should be working your side hustle or learning something new or at the very least working out. The same thing has been written about your actual surrounding – where you dwell – is it messy and cluttered and chaotic – does it reflect your own life... are you messy cluttered and chaotic because of your home or is your home a reflection of your life? An interesting thought. I do collect things – books, art, vintage stuff – for me it is an investment in things I feel can be sold off in the future for profit, but I do not waste my time on too many luxuries, my actual home is rather Spartan and after all these years I still have unpacked boxes stacked against a wall... I am hardly ever there, there is a sofa a couple of beds, a desk, a small table that I made to eat at, an old radio that works when it wants to, some pots and pans and that is it... but like I said, I am hardly ever there... where I am at, my belongings fit into a closet and I can leave whenever and not worry about them if I never return... I focus on making money and my goal – which has been for some time now the “Deringerville” project... nothing else matters to me. I don't watch television and I don't listen to the radio – everything I need to entertain myself I have on a hard drive and some books. I keep the clutter limited only to my desk – I hate cleaning and dusting so I make it easy for myself by not having anything that needs attention – run a dust rag over the desk and a mop over the floor and I am done... focus on my job... rest... do some writing... try to draw a little... work out... step out for a bit to hang with the gang and piss off the new world faggots and back home... I could have much more than what I have now, but I really want to build that farm and village and that will take money for what I plan – and that is what it is all being stacked up for... trust me, some days I want to blow it all on a new shiny boat... but, I think I want to piss the world off more than chase my material desires... that is more fun to me... and “Deringerville” will definitely piss off the social justice do-gooder. The last year and a half I have been focusing on finding the right land in the right place and the right people to put this all together – once in a while I will distract myself with a young lady, but when I am not with my gang or checking on my business, then I am working on making the farm a reality... I dream it and talk about it with anyone who will listen – it is my only passion and focus... It gets me up in the morning and keeps my up at night. I draw out plans and redraw them every time I come across a new spot.

“Do what you can with what you have where you are”

- Theodore Roosevelt

You may have to actually get up and move away to a new place in order to change your space – then do it. Get as far away from those that are bringing you down with their negativity and the situation that surrounds you whether by your own creation or some other design... get out and start over with nothing someplace else... people go and find greener pastures everyday and many of them go with very little or no money at all and start over and make something out of themselves – but first do as the quote above – do what you can with what you have where you are... and save and plan and escape.

“Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there”

- Will Rodgers

You must take action – with out action everything else is useless – you know what you have to do, you are confident in your plans and you know what it is that you want... you just have to move in the direction of that thing, pushing everything and everyone that is irrelevant to your desires out of the way and you will find – if your intentions are worthy of that thing that you want, things will fall into place and that thing you are chasing will begin to move in your direction... that's just the way it is.

Change #4. Be grateful - I cannot stop saying this... and I may never will.

Here I will make a confession – It was anger and hatred that fueled my material desires at first... and I never expressed or acknowledged any gratitude for the money I acquired and the material possessions and comforts that came with it all... and I lost it – twice... and to top it all... I made no preparations for the fall – there was no plan B and nothing stashed away for those long rainy days... I was an ass-hole who thought he knew it all and did not give one fuck about anything- I just wanted more, more and more... until, as I have said before, the universe kicked me (hard) in the dick and took it all away... lesson learned the hard way... I am grateful for the money that I make and I express that by giving to those in need with out expecting anything in return for it and more money comes my way. I am grateful for the opportunities I find and I express gratitude for them by sharing what I know and what I learn with others and I find myself stumbling upon more opportunities... I am grateful for my health and grateful for the friends in my life and I find ways to express my gratitude.. and since I became conscious of expressing gratitude I find myself being abundantly blessed by more of the things I express my gratitude for... I cannot explain it – I can only say that there must be something very divine in it...

For many of you this may sound like hog-wash... but keep this in mind – there are over ten million Freemasons in the world in every position and occupation imaginable and many of them study a little blue book called the Kabalyon in order to decipher the laws of the universe and one of those laws is the law of cause and effect - “Every cause has its effect, every effect has its cause; everything happens according to law; chance is but a name for law not recognized; there are many planes of causation but, nothing escapes the law”

My teacher told me - “If you can't beat'em, join 'em... if you can't join 'em, learn to think like them...”

Change the way you think, and you will change everything in your life.

“The happiness of your life depends on your thoughts: therefore, guard then accordingly and take care you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature”

- Marcus Aurelius

In the Forest

I never participated very much or commented on other peoples writings online until I found The Iron Legion Blog - Those writings and ideas where very inspiring - They clicked with me and  pushed just the right buttons at just the right time...but - There wont be another site like it and I don't know if It's writer, Simon, will return... but... it seems... my comment posting days are over.

This was originally posted yesterday as a comment on another blog...

but... it did not survive for long

well.........

f*ck it.

My opinions and writings belong at the Deringer Files anyway

where those who want to read them can find them.

Sometimes the best way to find yourself is to loose yourself...

and if you can loose yourself in the magic of an ancient forest – still and quiet and far from the problems of the modern world, lonely but for the creatures it cradles in the night... a place that was there before you were born and will be there long after the world has lost it's memory of you... a place that still carries the echos of the myths left behind from the wanderers that came before you... even better.

In such a place you can loose yourself and find yourself over and over... and over again.

There you can cleanse your mind and your soul and your body from the toxic progressive madness of the cities and the suburbs and the zombie horde that dwell within on their uninspired mindless consumer rush to the slaughter house... no friends... you were made for something greater... and the visions of it wait for you there in the thick quiet of nature... there where the songs of mystic warriors that are your ancestors still lingers... you just have to abandon your fears and technology and let go of the things you think you need and wander into that lost kingdom were the weak dare not go without their smart phones and GPS and air mattresses.

The quest is nothing more than simplicity – a noble enough venture for your first outing that will easily be found siting beside a fire. Throw some sausages and cheese into a bag with bread and jam or peanut butter, some fruit – berries, apples, oranges... water... don't forget your hygiene... a good book to read – something inspiring... a classic perhaps – “Ivanhoe” or “Idles of the King”... “Lord of the Rings”... take a journal to right in... a sleeping bag or just a good blanket, a tent (or not)... matches, compass, first aid kit... the spirit of adventure and the curiosity of the boy you once were.

Two days... three days... is all you need to be reborn - the wandering of the mind and spirit till you find a place to rest... learning how to breathe again and how to listen to that voice of your true self that you lost when the world brought you to your knees and forced you to conform and corralled you with the rest of the heard... the cleansing... the ritual of fire and smoke – offer up a sacrifice and a prayer to your God... and your ancestors... the gratitude for your blessings and your food... the communion – dig your fingers into the soil... stroke the leaves and branches and petals... place your palm on the trunk of a tree and listen for it's story... try to recognize the face staring back at you in the water... hunch down in the grass and watch the world through the eyes of a beast... a wolf... a lion... the baptism (if and when it comes), is the moment you realize who and what you are... were you belong... where you are going... what you were created for – you won't find those answers doing a google search... but you will get nearer to it in the wild.

It could be in the desert, up a mountain, in an endless valley... out at sea, or in the woods... any where as long as it is far from where crowds gather – where you will find the voice waiting for those with ears to hear – the voice of inspiration... motivation... exaltation...

Buddha abandoned his kingdom in search of the cause of suffering and under the leaves of a fig tree he heard the voice. Moses went up a mountain where he heard the voice and later lingered there until he received the law from his God. Jesus walked out into the waste lands to be tempted by Satan and he found his strength. Knights of old drifted into the forest to rest and regain their strength in their solitude... That is where the myths are born – what will you be when you walk out of the church of nature... a poet... a knight on a quest for greatness, a priest or monk or prophet... a warrior god returned from the whispers of the distant past to conquer and destroy and build a new world?

What indeed shall you be when you come back to the chaos.

The wedge between us...

First I want to let it be publicly known that I am with Tommy... and this situation is what the western world has to be very worried about, for I am certain that it will spread to other "free" countries... this could be the spark that lights the fire or it could be curtains for free speech... we'll have to wait and see, my friends

Second.  I want to thank those who still let me comment on their sites - seems my comments have been banned in five popular sites now... I know they can get too long, and I tend to ramble and sometimes take the long way 'round to make my point and sometimes I even forget what the hell the point was... it happens... but for whatever reason, other writers have chosen that my comments (or perhaps your cousin Dash in general) are not welcome... so be it...

At CrusaderRabbit today on the Topic of Tommy Robinson I said:

"There is a strong possibility that Tommy may die in Jail… if so will others rise up… or will they ignore it in silent fear of what the consequence will be if they dare to raise their voice… or make a comment about it online…
It is getting harder to understand how governments conned so many young men to go die to protect our freedoms if this is where we have ended up."

To which Pascal responded to with one of the best responses I have ever had on a comment - (It is in the top 5), and I want to share it with others... because it is, you will see, gold:

"You may have already noted that KG declared it a death sentence by plan. For committing journalism.

Victor, the process by which this came to this point is called the thin entering wedge. I prefer it to the other metaphors (camel’s nose under the tent; slippery slope) because the wedge is one of Archimedes’ simple machines: the inclined plane. Rulers since his time, and probably before so identified it, know of it. You know how a wedge works. In concert with one or two more, it can splendidly separate wood trim from panels and preserve the wholeness of both, so as to do with each what the woodworker wishes.

In war it comes in the form of wedge formations designed to separate rate troops so they cannot reinforce each other.

It politics it comes by introducing multiculturalism — tribal identities make it easier to take advantage of Tocqueville’s observation

a despot easily forgives his subjects for not loving him, provided they do not love each other.

Or it comes in the form of incrementalism. That is another meaning of progressive — the gradual separation of free men from their rights so that the ruler can deal with each individual as the ruler wishes.

We and those who came before us Victor, have been gradually, over many generations, separated from our rights, our freedoms. “It’s only a small matter, really.” Worked too well.

Are there yet sufficient numbers who know what freedom means and the obligations associated remaining to rebel? God knows."  

God knows, indeed...

True Believers

 This was first posted as a comment under the article 

"Pope Leo XIII on Taking Back the Culture" 

by Michael Sebastian

I have spent a little over a year looking for true believers – men willing to charge into the fire for their faith with Rosaries in one hand and a sword in the other in order to preserve the Church and its traditions and teaching and all that it stands for and all that it could be once more, men of a certain caliber and mold not easily found these days… unfortunately, I have not found them yet. What I have found are men much like myself – not exactly boy scouts and knights in shining amour… no, they are hustlers trying to stay afloat in this madness, scoundrels trying to stay one step ahead of the tax-man and the law-man in their quest to stash away just a little bit more of what they work hard for, I come across old soldiers that have lost their faith in the democratic process and their governments, men looking for a place where they belong in the chaos… but, what all these men are is men of destiny – men moving toward their moment in time, men who will not run away from the fight when the time comes, but I can not convince them that the time is now to pick up that cross and that banner and march to the fight coming at them like a tide… but for certain, all these men without hesitation kneel before the cross.

Men in this modern world struggle just to retain their natural instinct without persecution, let alone profess their religious beliefs with out fear of being called out as a bigoted racist NAZI. The average modern man is trying to get laid and hold a job to pay off his debts and buy more stuff that he feels will improve his station in life and make it more fulfilling, God and the Church are not his priorities, and the average married man is trying to keep his wife happy so she won’t rape him in divorce court and take away the fruits of his labor, he is spoiling his children so they will like him as a friend instead of respecting him as their father, he has his mortgages and car payments and appearances to keep up… and the nightmare of his soul killing job, where he must navigate the storm of political correctness and his social justice co-workers… and we want him to have more of a presence at his church?

But yes, that is what men need to do – be more active in your church if you wish to save it… the women will not, no matter how saintly she might appear – she ain’t Joan of Arc.

What you can do is start a men’s organization at your Church – absolutely no women allowed and if the priest thinks he has something to say about it then you have to find a way to let the priest know that the church belongs to the people – which is the truth. Men only groups that you can form to start with aside from the usual bible study group can be discussion groups where you read works such as this one mentioned by Pope Leo XIII and discuss it’s meaning and message along with books by other Christian writers like Chesterton and even Reactionaries like Evola – Evola would be easier to understand with other men trying to get through such heavy reading. Groups like this can turn into think tanks that can come up actual solutions to the problems in your community, you can help other men just by letting them know that men around to listen to them and willing to help them solve their problems. You need to get men of influence involved in your group – businessmen and entrepreneurs, current serving and ex-military, men with skills, that they can teach, trades men, and professionals.

Get organized and come up with some sort of decal that business owners can put on their windows that will identify them as members of your “community” people of faith that wish to preserve their faith and tradition without fear so that those “in the know” will know where to spend their money – hey, Masons have their hand signs and gestures and a bag full of tricks to identify themselves and yes, Masons come first in their eyes… I don’t care what you have read or heard to the contrary… so you must be as close knit and hermetic in your ways as they are, so find ways to identify your kind in ways that only you know and support those businesses, if possible, live in closed communities with your kind of people, if you own property, then rent to your people, recommend only your people to others… Christianity was born in the shadows if we have to go back into the shadows before we can walk out into the light with out fear then so be it, do what you have to do but start by promoting and supporting each other in your Church and community.

Now that the Boy scouts have been destroyed – I read that they lost 400,000 boys now that girls can join (not sure if that is true). The youth needs help now more than ever, especially young boys, and a group like the scouts was always a great place to start in the shaping of young boys lives, seriously give thought to forming a scouting group for the boys of your Church.

I myself have recently returned to the Church – I attend the Latin Mass and I sometimes go to an Orthodox Church as well – one of the guys in my gang is Greek and he too has return to the Church and talked my into attending – I first visited an Greek Orthodox church when I live n Illinois for a wedding and I loved it, can’t believed in took me this long. I left the Church over twenty years ago because I got tired of weak feminine priest preaching to the men to relinquish more power to women – equality and SJW programming had infiltrated the Church way back then… so I left… but despite my wicked ways I never stopped believing in my creator and I know I have lots to answer for when the day comes… lots.

I do not want to ramble on here about my own theories, and I will not get into a discussion on Masonry, but Masonry, for many men is good for them, just as the military, for many men is good for them, and just as the Church, for many men is good for them… but Masonry strayed from the path of it’s true intention long ago and it is not going to find it’s way back, as for the Church it too has strayed, it needs new leadership, strong leadership, it needs to be purged of certain men that occupy positions of power with in. there are rumors and stories that Pope Benedict was actually forced out by a certain cabal in the Vatican that has a, shall we say, liberal agenda, and the stories of his poor health were a lie – Popes stay on the “throne” till death.

There are several Christian brotherhoods that have formed in the last few years, some of them came and went and some are still around, some took their cues from The Iron Legion blog – mines did, and I know of others – and I have been in contact with many of these groups but alas… as I myself was looking for a certain type of men to fill my army, it seems that I myself do not quite fit the bill for the type of men some of these organizations are looking for – because it is not enough to be a Christian… everyone wants to find… and believe that they are – true believers.

Well, sir… that’s my two cents worth.

Oh, by the way, Michael, it is just by chance that I visited your site tonight… I am not getting update notifications from your site… in fact I am not getting any update notification to my email from any site I am subscribed to except for Bold and Determined… strange.

Dash.

Proof that the Liberal SJW's are a White Supremacist Group

This was first posted yesterday as a comment at CrusaderRabbit

(there is some strong language in this)

strap yourself down my friends, because this revelation is going to knock you on your ass… let’s begin.

This morning the internet is on fire over a teenage girl in Utah, Kezia Daum, for wearing a traditional Chinese dress called Chiongsam to her prom – just a little something she found at a thrift store, and she posted pictures online of herself in the dress… and that is all it took for the melt down to begin.

(http://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/2144207/qipao-us-prom-wins-support-china-after-internet-backlash)

But was it a melt down? Was it really an attack on a young woman for “cultural appropriation” or was this actually an attack on a white girl for choosing to promote a culture outside of her own? – sounds crazy, but I will show you how this insane theory will open your eyes to the truth.

It is not hard to prove that feminism is nothing more than a shit test – I prove it to myself every time I help to empower young collage girls when I pump and dump them, treat them like cheap whores that are not good for anything else than to be used up as sex object for my own pleasure… they don’t want my respect, admiration, pretty words, or the pedestal collecting dust in my shed… nope, they want me to treat them the exact opposite of what they have always told me to treat them… so I can only come to the conclusion from my experiences with women, as both a nice guy beta and as an alpha ass-hole that feminism is nothing more than a scam on women and a shit test on men.

Now, this cultural appropriation scam that the SJW’s are trying to push on White America – because only White Americans seem to be guilty of it. What seems to be the problem here with white folk showing appreciation for the beauty of other cultures that makes the (mostly white) liberal left loose its collective goofy mind? Aren’t these the same lunatics shoving multi-culturalism down our throats, are they the same ones preaching that diversity is our strength? But they will attack you and threaten you for wearing clothes from another culture and shut you down if you are white and open up a taco stand? Why? Well friends the answer is as simple as connecting the little crazy dots of the new cultural appropriation scam.

It is not about appreciating someone else’s culture and it is not about disrespecting someone else’s culture by doing so. It is about whites keeping to themselves doing white only things and this scam is also affecting people of color. Recently Kenye West (not a fan) started an uproar for supporting Candace Owens and Donald trump – well that black man must have lost his damn mind… your black and you are not supposed to support the white man and white man ways… they attacked Candace as well for letting black people know that they are getting hustled by the left and their political arm, the Democratic party. They attacked a singer by the name of Bruno Mars for appropriating black culture with his music – he is a Filipino (and mixed I think), he should stick with his own kind and do his own peoples thing is the message I got from blacks over that issue… so the message I am getting is that blacks need to stick with their own kind and do black people things like constantly voting Democrat so they can continue to live their poor ghetto victim lives and blame the whites for keeping him down – when it is the liberal left that needs them to stay in the ghetto and be victims so that the Left can have a cause to fight for – that is the message I am reading, and the white man needs to just leave everyone else’s stuff alone.

Pay close attention to this friends. Nobody is raping fat white girls with tattoos and short green hair – nobody… but the SJW multi-cultural left does not want white men to go to South America or Asia to marry their women. No, they want you to stay in America and marry miserable white American women. They want you to stick with your own kind… White Supremacy through reverse psychology. These SJW crazies do not want you to run a business that promotes or appreciates other cultures than your own – but do not promote too much of your own white culture because then it is insensitive and racist – but do stick to your own is the hidden message that is truly being pushed – and the agenda, well, it is nothing more than separation and division of people, to keep the blacks separate from the whites and the Hispanics in the barrio where they belong… The SJW multi-cultural left does not want White Americans celebrating “Cinco de Mayo” though that is purely an American holiday – we do not celebrate that in Mexico, and you cannot celebrate Chinese New Year, especially not wearing a Chiongsam that is two strikes and if you speak Chines that might as well be three strikes and your out… move to China if you love them so much… but don’t bring back your Chinese wife you traitor… it is insane this theory of mine but no more ridiculous that the hypocrisy that is the liberal left bastard child – SJW… and Feminism… it is all hypocrisy, insanity, no logic or common sense and just pushing people toward the exact opposite of what they say they are promoting – not equality, not unity, not diversity

It is important to understand that Chines people in China are not offended by this – they actually like it just as when Model Karlie Kloss was attacked for being dressed up as a Geisha for Vogue Magazine – the Japanese people had no problem with it – but the white liberal left did and always does have a problem with it – it seems to me that without victims they have no business and I will not be surprised if they soon go after this Eminem singer (I could not name one of his songs even if I was being tortured), now that he is irrelevant, and that they will go after mixed couples, because from what I am observing they need victims and they need to separate and divide people in order for them to have a cause to fight for.

The left is destroying itself, slowly, but it is eating itself, always turns on their own, and even those in their ranks are afraid because no-one is sure of the rules of the club – it is always changing and never makes sense even to themselves, what and who they are fighting for and protecting today will change tomorrow – if you don’t get the twitter then you are shit out of luck. Your safest bet is to just stick with your own kind white people and continue doing only white people things, because that is what the so called opposition wants – to isolate and separate the whites and isn’t that what you want anyway…

You’re winning White America… you’re winning

Honor and the modern world

This is a response to Jack Ronin's  

"The Most Valuable Prize A Man Can Ever Possess".

Honor as I understand it to be is:

Integrity - Integrity is not compromising your moral and ethical principles, your word and your character. Integrity is knowing the lines you will not cross and standing firm on that decision no matter what threats or promises have been made.  Integrity is honesty, keeping your word, your promises, and following through on all deals made. Integrity is being true to yourself and not making excuses or apologies for living your life in pursuit of nobility or simply wanting to be a better person than those without integrity.

Dignity - Dignity is the manner in which you carry yourself without the absence of respect for yourself.  Dignity is being conscious of your appearance and your behavior and presenting yourself always in a manner worthy of respect. Dignity is never abandoning your Integrity.

Loyalty - Loyalty is being faithful to your brothers in arms, your family, your clan, your tribe, your religion and  your beliefs.  Loyalty is allegiance to one or all of the above and pacts of allegiance must be well considered and not made lightly - for making an oath is giving ones word and to break an oath is to compromise your Integrity.

Courage - Courage is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger or pain without fear. The strength for courage comes from within, it is inspired and nourished by faith in ones beliefs and convictions (the fixed firmness of those beliefs).  Courage is not backing down, not compromising, and doing what is right - speaking the truth, acknowledging the truth an defending the truth in this dark modern world.

These four qualities make up a man of honor. The question the modern man in pursuit of a life of honor must ask himself is “is there room in the modern world for men of honor?”  For a man of these qualities is laughed at, shunned and persecuted in today’s world - if you are a white Christian heterosexual with conservative opinions and of  traditionalist values who believes in preserving your culture and  protecting the integrity and sovereignty of your nation - you have enemies my friend... and those enemies have no honor  -  they have no Integrity, for they are not honest and will compromise themselves for the attentions they will receive from their virtue signaling, they will compromise themselves for fame and money.  They have no Dignity.  They lack any respect for themselves as is plainly visible in the obese and unhealthy lifestyles they pursue, they deface themselves and their communities and call it self expression with out regard to the effect their actions have on others that do not wish to participate in their degenerate behavior - they will parade and dance down the street naked and simulating lewd acts in full view of children and to question their behavior is equal to you being a NAZI.  They have no Loyalty to any one and will throw each-other into the fire before they abandon their cause - fear of not being accepted by the hive is what keeps them loyal to their system not faith in their doctrines for history has shown the world  time and again that the system they are working for simply does not work - anywhere... and they have no Courage - for they will not debate with you but they will argue with you or shut you up completely - because they know they cannot win an argument or a debate... they do not acknowledge facts or the truth and  they dare not speak against the hive or state an opinion resembling disagreement with their agendas.  They only have the mob of weak men (that enable) and disgusting irresponsible women - without any loyalties to themselves, to their families, to their culture - they have no traditions they wish to preserve and they have no God to believe in therefore no faith to find true strength and courage... and what they want is for you to live as they live - fat, weak, miserable, docile, and afraid... consuming anything and everything the television tells you to and providing nothing of value to your community - nothing spiritual and uplifting, nothing truly useful and helpful to better ones life, even technology is at a standstill unless it is something that can be used to remove more privacy and keep the masses docile and submissive to their masters... is there room for men of Honor in the modern world?

Well... it is only because of men of honor that the world has not yet progressed into complete and total chaos - but it will be men of honor that return us to a world where men of honor are held with the respect they deserve... and that day cannot come too soon.

The "Rampage" and hatred for the women of the modern world.

 This was a comment I left over at Charles Sledge's Journal on his post Having Hatred for Women will Destroy You.  had a conversation about the topic earlier with someone and I thought I would share this here - Also be sure to check out Charles' site - start with this fine article on women here .

I went through this myself - dark days.

When I was still young and stupid I was in a relationship that lasted six years - but it was a roller coaster of chaos. I let my love for her make me weak and put up with all her bullshit no matter how humiliating until the point I just couldn't do it any more... she married three months after I left and that destroyed me, and I went on a drinking and fucking rampage... and I fucked a lot! I didn't care about anything and anyone and who I hurt along the way and I hurt many women back then... but many just kept coming back for more... but I did not give one fuck about them... I just fucked. It wasn't until I was in my thirties when I decided on the man I wanted to be and started to move in that direction - I am pleased with the results so far but it took me a while to put the pieces together and to pay attention to my actions when I reflected back on my behavior and decisions and mistakes I made in my youth - thinking a certain way will make me act a certain way, acting a certain way will get me a certain responses from those around me - so, if I can control my thoughts I can control my actions and if I control the way I act I can control how others respond to me. But this also is a power I used to get me more women that I did not care about... when it was time to get laid I went out and found a woman dressed up like a whore and I treated her like one and she was mine for the night... and I moved on - yeah, I had a lot of hatred for women - I will admit that, and the fact that women were letting themselves be treated badly justified my treatment of them - I lost women, because I was weak, to dominant men that treated them badly - "the red pill"... before I knew what the fuck the red pill was (before it was called the red pill). I am these days a solitary man, I prefer to be honest and kind to everyone and to be left alone to live my life my way.... I know it is easier in life to not give a damn about anything - but, you get what you give in this universe , so now days, for me it is easier just to be a nice guy - but being a nice guy does not get me laid and it does not get me respect in the street. We have to create other personalities for the world in order to get certain things - game to get women, mindset to get success, savagery to get respect... it will take some work to pull it all together and still keep a little bit of that gentleness and kindness that we as men need to help us do that which is right. Those that know me - my gang and inner circle know that I am a chill dude that just wants a simple life, but this modern world complicates even the simplest things like relationships. That girl was my down fall but I had to go through it, I had to learn those painful lessons the hard way - even though it was a truth I already knew, but refused to come to terms with.

All men will go through that pain and all men will go through that period of hate. Most men will go through that enlightenment and put the pieces together and find that thing called "the red pill" and many will struggle with coming to terms with the truth of it, but for many men, I believe, it is best that they learn these lessons the hard way.

Oh, in the last twenty years I have only been in one relationship with a woman that lasted a year, but all the others have not gone more than six months. Now that I am on a quest for a woman to have a family with I am behaving differently with women but I am also looking at them differently and they are responding to me differently but I am also spending less time with the tramps... we'll see what happens

Dash.

Young man lost in the modern world

This is part of a letter to a friend.  I later shared this here, at The Gentleman's Club. And now I am am sharing it here.

I was still in my early twenties and I was in a relationship with a young girl that made me crazy (and weak). I was uneducated and trying to find good work doing anything really – I was hustling on the side doing whatever I could to make money, mostly working in night clubs promoting or throwing my own parties in Juarez, but I wanted something more – like all young men, and looking for someone to teach me something… college was not for me and I was not about to join the military – I figured out as a young man that the only winners in wars are the ones selling the guns and loaning out the money. There was no one around to teach me anything not even how to pull off a decent hustle. My parents had nothing important to teach me, my brothers weren’t going to teach me and all the other men in my life were clueless… and I did ask older men for advice, no one had anything to offer but stupid sayings that really will do you no good when you are young and trying to build an important life – and that is what I wanted when I was young. Everything I knew I taught myself… it would not be until many failures that men would come into my life and help me relearn all that I thought I knew and help me to fine tune and work out the kinks in what I had learned on my own… and to these men I will always owe a dept of gratitude and kindness… remember that last statement – I will circle back around to it later.

He was an engineer of some kind – this old man that slammed the door in my face…
My girl friend’s mother had gone through three or four live in boyfriends since I knew them, this old worthless fart was the last one I knew before I left that girl and I do not remember his name – it is not important as the man himself is not important and deserves no kindness or respect from me other than what I already gave him when I knew him – No, I never disrespected him, nor was I ever rude to him or my girl’s mother… they however showed very little kindness to me and what ever bits of civility came only for the sake of the girlfriend…

Back then, as today, I did not drive (I have always had personal problems with licenses and permits) and took the bus or I would walk – I walked to her apartment – they were always changing apartment… it was not a far walk from where I was but I wanted to see her – I do not know why anymore but I made the walk to her place and knocked on the door – the old man opens the door and I greet him politely and ask to see her… he tells me she can not see me and that I cannot just show up whenever I like… I am confused and say I did not know it would be a problem and that I just need a moment with her. He tells me that it is a problem and that she cannot come to the door – I say I can wait outside for her – he says – “it’s time for you to leave” and I (really confused) say – “why are you so rude, I have never done anything” and he looks at me and says – “that is why…” It took me a moment to figure out what he just said and I quickly put together that because I had done nothing with my life I was not good enough to be with this young girl that he was not remotely related to in any way shape or form – not in this reality at least… and I, out of desperation, could only shrug my shoulders with palms open ready to receive wisdom that would make me a better young man, a young man worthy of just a little bit of respect from the world… I was pleading in silence… in simple but unmistakable gestures… give me something old man… point me in the right direction… give me a stupid saying from your generation… a bible quote… any little bit of advice… nothing… he didn’t even shake his head in disgust at me, he just shut the door and left me there looking and feeling like a fool…

Worthless piece of old man shit – I hope he burns in hell. That was very un-Christian of me to say and it is the behavior of a pissed off bitter little boy… well, that was just how it affected me… I do not remember that man’s name but I will never forget that moment… I do not remember what followed that… a lot of my memories of those days get jumbled up in the alcohol and drug haze that came after I broke up with the girl – but my memory tries to tell me that I stuck around outside waiting for her to come out – I can’t be certain nor do I even recall if I spoke to her about what happened… but I don’t think I did nor do I believe she would have actually given a fuck about it…

Even nice guys aren’t good enough – and that proved it to me – it was, to this day the only time a man shut the door on me – I have had men tell me they disapprove of me being with their daughters but they never slammed the door on me. They never tried to stop me or prevent me from seeing their daughters but they never slammed the door on me – I have never been disrespectful to any girls parents nor have I ever been rude to any of them… even when I was falling into the abyss and lost myself in the fucking rampage… but no one ever offered me a helping hand or a kind word of warning or advice… and so it was.

Since then – the things I have done with my life… well, most of them are bad things, most had no honor in them and were done mostly for my own greed and not for the betterment of mankind and the world and not really for my own personal growth – just greed… get it out of the way while you’re young and you can… and the good things – there weren’t many and no one is going to care really – no one will remember you for the good things you did – I truly believe that – the world does not want a hero, it does not want a good and righteous man to come and remind them of how worthless their own life is… the world is begging for a strong dominant leader to save them from themselves and give them a painful spanking with soothing words afterwards – “it’s not your fault, but daddy’s here now to show you the right way”, a leader who will do all the thinking for you while you zombie out on facebook and sports t.v. and dancing with the has been. This is not the age of the hero but of the villain. It is an age where the good guy truly will finish last – if he finishes at all. It is an age when the man of honor and integrity is laughed at and shunned for his loyalties and his pride and for his beliefs – it is the age of the victim where the man who has built a successful life is portrayed as the oppressor and the dignified hard working traditionalist is the equivalent of a member of the NAZI party… insane, I know. But this is the world we live in – where good men surrender their dignity to board an airplane and silence their true feelings just to hold onto their miserable jobs. Remember (name) we live in a world where women do not want nice guys, a world where the women that cry rape culture sweep the raping of Europe under the rug… a world where the kids that occupied Wall Street throw their full support for a woman that had all the financial backing of Wall Street and the Globalist elite… No, the good things you do for the world or for others will only be remembered by men of honor and those men are few and hard to find.

My last mentor, Dagmar’s father, is a man that became successful by helping other men. He became important by taking lost young men and turning them into men of honor and built a network of business men, attorneys, doctors, politicians, financiers, brokers and bankers, and even soldiers and a hustler here and there. He got to where he is by doing favors and collecting on those favors, not by collecting other men’s secrets but by sharing his own and sharing his vast network of disciples with – his vast network of disciples, of course… Don’t know why he took me in – nor why the other men that helped me helped me when they did – they were men I never asked anything of, but they helped me up, dusted me off and took me in and tried to teach me something – I know I was a stubborn and difficult pupil and went about taking the long hard road to learn the lessons they tried to help me avoid… but I got there eventually. The Master pointed me in the direction and gave me space and time to absorb and learn and made himself available to ask all the questions I needed to ask and provided me with the best answers he could give and if there was something he could not answer, together we would find the solution – it is the way he did things. He showed me his world, his life… his reality and made me believe it was in reach for someone like me… I did not accept his offer to go study under another man which he had helped – a man in his network of disciples and learn to make a living in a respectable field as the others… I had to do things on my own – but, I do wish I had decided back then on the life I wanted and taken him up on the offer and gone to work in a brokerage back then instead of doing it alone.

Earl Nightingale tells us that success is “the progressive realization of a worthy goal” and that success is a man doing what he wants to do because that is what he wanted to do and he is doing a good job at it – very true words as far as my own beliefs and I do not compare my life to others – I do not compare what I have or what I do not have… how I live and how I do not live to the lives of others… I live my life in pursuit of the life I wish to have and form and shape my reality into the way I want it in accordance to the life of the man I wish to be… But (name), this also is true, and it is true for the most humble of men to the most powerful of men in the measurement of success and I learned this from my teacher – it is not something he told me or ever hinted at, it is something I learned from observation and the only thing that I do use to measure my own success… in comparison to other men, that is – the number of men you can rely on to help you out – no questions asked, when you find yourself  in need of assistance no matter what that might be… and there it is. You do not need to be a powerful man. You do not need to be a wealthy man, but in life, sometimes shit happens and when it happens, who can you call on, knowing without a doubt, that the one you call on will be there for you. For Dagmar’s father, I am, as many other men scattered around the world ready to offer the man my help in any way shape or form if it is needed with out him having to ask -no questions asked, I am there. The same goes for the other men that helped me… even if all debts of honor have been payed in full.

A man can do anything alone and be answerable to no man, he can build his life without debts to another and be proud of what he has accomplished in the world and the life he built and many have done just that, unfortunately, many of those man only have their financial success and their material wealth by which they define their lives and if they were to lose it all they have nothing in this world – because they did it alone and in their minds they were the penthouse apartment, they were the Bentley, they were the brand tagged on their inside coat pocket. They are nothing without the fame, the prestige and the attention. They are nothing without the hangers on and the ass kissers riding the free-loader express… nothing. But on the other hand – the man with a tribe behind him to help him up when the chips are down who have little concern for your ego but allows you the dignity of face that will offer you a job to help you get back on your feet, a place to rest in exchange for work around the farm, a contact in a foreign city to help get you out of a pickle… that in itself is worth a couple of pounds of gold for certain men of honor.

For the most part – I have done it all alone and I had, at one point, defined my life by material possessions and the digits in my bank account. Fortunately (or unfortunately), life knows when to kick a man in the dick, and I know what it is to be out on the street and I know what it is to not have a penny in your pocket and what it is like to go without warmth and food and the kind word of a friend and out of pride (and stupidity) I would not even call my family for help. But I rose up – it took a long time and it was a struggle and I did find help along the way, but I can now honestly say that at forty seven I am basically the same kid I was when I was seventeen… a bit more quiet, dark sense of humor, loner, still suspicious and paranoid and trust very few people, I have a tendency to slip into self destructive periods of not giving a fuck about anything and anyone and I am still looking for Jesus everywhere I go and a little bit of beauty in the world to sooth the demon in me that wants to burn it all to the ground… and if I lost it all and had to start over again I would be the same man I am in the dark shadow as I am in the bright light. I am the same man I am with a fashion model as I am with a waitress, the same man I am with my gang as I am with my family… if I had no money I would be the same man, the only difference between the character of the boy I was when I was seventeen and the man I am today is that today I know how to make money and if I lost it all again I would just pick myself up, dust myself off and get to work getting it back – you see, once you have learned how, you can’t unlearn it, but as far as the consistency of my character… it wont change any more – this is who I am and this is what you get – also (name) this is import, and it’s a truth that will help you very much in the long run with women and their shit tests – they want to see that consistency of your character – if the first impression of you is a strong willed bad boy… that is what they want you to be for ever, they want you to do what you say you will do, say what you mean and mean what you say, do not bend or break for them or anyone else – that is the point of the shit test – can I break this man… will he change for me… is the will of his character strong enough… does he define his life by what he has or is it something deeper within that can not be taken away and will not be surrendered – it is why women have no respect for weak men that kiss their ass and why they do not appreciate anything you do for them or give them just because they asked for it… a man with a strong will of character is the kind of man that others want to be lead by – a man who can make a hard decision with out hesitation and answer for his mistakes later but with out regrets… this I have learned in my life. The other difference in my life from the boy to the man is the tribe I have built and the men I have gathered around me that I might never find myself without someone to rely on at three in the morning with no questions asked to help my out of a pickle – no matter what that might be.

This past year I have been corresponding with many new friends online giving advice and trying to solve problems and coming up with solutions to remedy the madness of the world… I hope I am proving valuable answers. When I was young there was no ‘Return of Kings’ there was no ‘Roosh V Forum’ there was no Victor Pride and all of these other countless resources for young men to go to to find help and advice from men that have been there and men that are doing it – from getting women to making money. Since others started to e-mail me with enquiries and asking for advice I have tried to help them all. I have not refused but one request for advice – I feel bad about that one but I felt I was not ready to give advice but it turns out that I am – but that final judgement is yours, if there is something I do not have the answer to we will try to find it together or find another in the network that can… that is what I am trying to build – aside from the tribe, a network… as my teachers had built. I can only hope that I can do as good of a job as they did and that before I slam the door on a young man, I will at least have a helpful word of advice for him before I do so.

 art by

Pam Powell