Thursday, April 6, 2017


in the land of the giants

It is never easy to return to the world after you have trekked up snowy mountains and danced in the forests... and floated in the turquoise waters... and laid down to dream in the  green valleys... in the land of the giants

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Honor and the modern world

This is a response to Jack Ronin's  

Honor as I understand it to be is:

Integrity - Integrity is not compromising your moral and ethical principles, your word and your character. Integrity is knowing the lines you will not cross and standing firm on that decision no matter what threats or promises have been made.  Integrity is honesty, keeping your word, your promises, and following through on all deals made. Integrity is being true to yourself and not making excuses or apologies for living your life in pursuit of nobility or simply wanting to be a better person than those without integrity.

Dignity - Dignity is the manner in which you carry yourself without the absence of respect for yourself.  Dignity is being conscious of your appearance and your behavior and presenting yourself always in a manner worthy of respect. Dignity is never abandoning your Integrity.

Loyalty - Loyalty is being faithful to your brothers in arms, your family, your clan, your tribe, your religion and  your beliefs.  Loyalty is allegiance to one or all of the above and pacts of allegiance must be well considered and not made lightly - for making an oath is giving ones word and to break an oath is to compromise your Integrity.

Courage - Courage is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger or pain without fear. The strength for courage comes from within, it is inspired and nourished by faith in ones beliefs and convictions (the fixed firmness of those beliefs).  Courage is not backing down, not compromising, and doing what is right - speaking the truth, acknowledging the truth an defending the truth in this dark modern world.

These four qualities make up a man of honor. The question the modern man in pursuit of a life of honor must ask himself is “is there room in the modern world for men of honor?”  For a man of these qualities is laughed at, shunned and persecuted in today’s world - if you are a white Christian heterosexual with conservative opinions and of  traditionalist values who believes in preserving your culture and  protecting the integrity and sovereignty of your nation - you have enemies my friend... and those enemies have no honor  -  they have no Integrity, for they are not honest and will compromise themselves for the attentions they will receive from their virtue signaling, they will compromise themselves for fame and money.  They have no Dignity.  They lack any respect for themselves as is plainly visible in the obese and unhealthy lifestyles they pursue, they deface themselves and their communities and call it self expression with out regard to the effect their actions have on others that do not wish to participate in their degenerate behavior - they will parade and dance down the street naked and simulating lewd acts in full view of children and to question their behavior is equal to you being a NAZI.  They have no Loyalty to any one and will throw each-other into the fire before they abandon their cause - fear of not being accepted by the hive is what keeps them loyal to their system not faith in their doctrines for history has shown the world  time and again that the system they are working for simply does not work - anywhere... and they have no Courage - for they will not debate with you but they will argue with you or shut you up completely - because they know they cannot win an argument or a debate... they do not acknowledge facts or the truth and  they dare not speak against the hive or state an opinion resembling disagreement with their agendas.  They only have the mob of weak men (that enable) and disgusting irresponsible women - without any loyalties to themselves, to their families, to their culture - they have no traditions they wish to preserve and they have no God to believe in therefore no faith to find true strength and courage... and what they want is for you to live as they live - fat, weak, miserable, docile, and afraid... consuming anything and everything the television tells you to and providing nothing of value to your community - nothing spiritual and uplifting, nothing truly useful and helpful to better ones life, even technology is at a standstill unless it is something that can be used to remove more privacy and keep the masses docile and submissive to their masters... is there room for men of Honor in the modern world?

Well... it is only because of men of honor that the world has not yet progressed into complete and total chaos - but it will be men of honor that return us to a world where men of honor are held with the respect they deserve... and that day cannot come too soon.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

girls in color

color pencil and ink
Cindy and Jules

girls from a photo shoot
(quick, rough and dirty)

Saturday, March 25, 2017

quizas... la mitad que me faltaba

I thought at first  - stepping out of the shower, that it was one of those things that resemble memories, but might just be dreams caught between the physical and my subconscious... but I hear her sigh and the sound of the bed frame creak as she stretches out on my bed... I walked slowly to the door and peek in at my own room... and there she was... I turn to look at myself in the mirror... and shrug my shoulders at myself... I walk closer to the glass... and play with the stubble on my face... she moans the way I remember she does and again I turn to peek into the room... she’s still there... and yes, I am fairly certain that this is all real - but to have it on record - as sometimes is stated at the top of these Deringer Files - this is one man’s slow descent into insanity... sometimes I go to sleep and I never know where I will wake up - here (at this moment and time) or there (some other place)... that should ruin all my credibility... because I remember her leaving - I go over the day she left and the things we said and didn’t say... the looks we exchanged and the ones we should have... the kiss that slipped away and the moment I was certain I had lost her forever... and I remember thinking how this was the best thing for the both of us - because destiny is calling us both to different places... and different times... I told myself... and as I have so many times before... I walked away from her and the moment that might have gone another way - had I only not been so damn certain that I don’t need anything or anyone to fill that empty space inside of m that must be there for a reason... because, up to this point, nothing and no-one has been able to fill it up... and because I am an ass-hole.

I spent the last two week not doing anything of any importance - in fact, I allowed myself some time to just have some fun not giving a damn about anything - spent a couple of days trying to  track down an album on-line with a stranger I have never met... but still can’t find a copy of “For Lover’s Only” by Kimiko Itoh... someone made me an offer for my Dr. Zhivago, but I told him to go to hell because I don’t believed he deserved it... got drunk for a few days and gained ten pounds in one week... no running, no working out... flirting with every young girl I come across and have been pissing off fag boys in tight pants... and pantsuit women... made some quick trips in Mexico to look at some land and a building in Playa de Carmen... mostly just drinking and wasting time... because I got into one of those moods when I could care less about the world and it’s ridiculous problems... come on people, what the fuck... and she says that I am the most fun person to be around when I don’t care about anyone or anything... and it is true - in those selfish moments when there is no tomorrow and I say a prayer for the things that might go wrong before I  cut loose on the world... are the most fun times I have... and when did she say this... the first night...

She knows me... well, maybe not completely but she gets me... and for me - that’s a good sign... and she knows where to find me - for the most part...

We never stopped communicating after she left... she mostly sent pictures and mp3s of songs... and I would  respond with songs of my own and try to avoid those conversations she still wants to have - about a relationship that does not exist... and, honestly, I was doing all I could  to keep her filling up my inbox... and there was that letter I sent her that she may have mistook for a love letter... ladies and gentlemen of the jury - how serious can we take the words of a man that has stated online that he prefers the company of whores and lose young women... and have you read his poetry... please, how would any one believe his intentions to be noble with this young lady, whom, by her own admission, referred to the defendant as a drunken womanizer, and has run off strange women from the home of the accused on several occasions... she knew full well what she was getting into and what she would not be getting out of any relationship - if indeed any should ever exist... with this misunderstood client of mine... but yeah... that letter may have gone to far, because I was calling her out and this move of hers may just be her calling me on my own bull-shit... the games we have to play...

I can’t remember telling her where I was going to be that day but I must have - I promised to help someone out with a negotiation, but really, a couple of us were just accessories that looked good filling up the room - the things one does for tribe... boring business stuff that had nothing to do with me but there I was looking like I was there to rough someone up with UCC legal jargon and market quotes... but Roland and Caleb... they just looked good.  I did not know she would be waiting downstairs in the lobby... she was facing the windows.  I watched people walk by her stepping aside to give her more space as they looked her up and down... she stood like some one I knew and she dressed like some one that did not belong there... I watched strangers look at her as if they recognized her from some where but dismissed the thought as they were certain she was from some far off forgotten dream - and she is - out of place in our modern world... see, she carries herself the way women from the old world with old money carry themselves - protected and isolated from the problems of the world - from the reality of the chaos and the madness the rest of us have to dredge through daily... but she knows how the world is - its workings. Its deceptions and its painful realities... but she has the luxury and privilege of slipping back into that old world behind a stone wall and gate were the beautiful people sleep in safety... she did not belong there among these worker bees but there she was making some people uneasy and others feel lucky to have been able to have been in her presence... a few people just lingered about to see what she was going to do as they tried to figure out who exactly she was - because she looked very important - was she some sort of celebrity... a politicians daughter?

The closer I got I came to realize who she was... and I took a deep breath and steadied my soul - what have I done... I shook my head and tried to come up with a future alibi and a prayer for whatever may go wrong next... but the prayer came to slow... she turned around... and as her eyes went wide... the crowd around us could only stand still to hear the sound of her voice - perhaps it might not be a dream at all...

She smiles at me but all I could do was shake my head... but really, I didn’t know why.

She say - “what are you doing?”

I say - “ at this moment or with my miserable life... because the answer, I am sure to both, is... I have no idea...”

“I think you know exactly what you are doing - you just don’t want others to know that you really do”.

I say - “hmmn...” and smile.

She puts her index finger on my chest and says - “you look like a man who wants to show a girl a good time...”

and I say - “you look like a girl who wants to make some bad choices...”

She laughs but she looks like she wants to cry - her eyes begin to water and she says “make me laugh...”

“Make you laugh? Make me laugh...” and I was going to say something funny but she grabs the lapel of my coat and pulls me down to her and we kiss... the crowd around us is in disbelief... who the hell am I to even dare reach beyond the stars... she releases me and tears begin.  I pull her into me to hide her tears from the world - because they belong to me... and the crowd begins to thin out and disburse... perhaps she’s just one of us after all...

She pulls away and starts to say something but grabs my hand and leads my out the building and says lets get drunk and I ask her if she has any money and she laughs but I was being serious - I had no money... and I ask something I did not want to know the answer to - “does your father know you’re here?” and she said yes... so I ask “is he going to send some one after us?”

“Do you mean is he going to send some one after you?”
“Yeah... that’s what I mean”.
“No - but my mother might get one of my crazy cousins after you...”
“What did you father say?”
“That you will break my heart... but... you already broke my heart...”


We got drunk.

I do not believe in coincidence... and I know that all the events that lead to this are somehow my fault - for I did manipulate a lot of them to my favor... and she reminds me that I did say that sometimes you have to let things play out as they may... and I need to let it happen - last time... I did everything but let it happen...

I woke up this morning in this reality... and no... I don’t know what I am doing and I don’t know what will happen this time around... but she is in my kitchen... in my shirt, making breakfast... and it feels like Valparaiso... except now there’s kissing.
 lyrics by
Manuel Flores Monterrosas

Tu eres como el agua
que bebi de la montaña
tu eres esa lluvia
con la que se baña el alma

Eres una estrella
por la madrugada
eres luz que llena
todas mis mañanas

Tu tienes en los ojos
un lenguaje sin palabras
tu llevas en los labios
agua dulce azucarada

Tienes la belleza
que jamas mirara
eres una reyna
eres una dama

Tienes en los brazos
el calor que yo buscaba
sabes conprenderme
como yo necesitaba

Tienes la ternura
que yo no encontraba
eres simplemente
la mitad que me faltaba

Tienes la ternura
que yo no encontraba
eres simplemente
la mitad que me faltaba 

Tu dejas a tu paso
la mejor de las fragancias
tu entras en mis sueños
cuando se te da la gana

Me gusta tu cuerpo
Me gusta tu cara
y me gusta el ritmo
que lleva tu falda

Tienes en los brazos
el calor que yo buscaba
sabes conprenderme
como yo necesitaba

Tienes la ternura
que yo no encontraba
eres simplemente
la mitad que me faltaba

Tienes la ternura
que yo no encontraba
eres simplemente
la mitad que me faltaba

Sunday, March 19, 2017

The "Rampage" and hatred for the women of the modern world.

 This was a comment I left over at Charles Sledge's Journal on his post Having Hatred for Women will Destroy You.  had a conversation about the topic earlier with someone and I thought I would share this here - Also be sure to check out Charles' site - start with this fine article on women here .

I went through this myself - dark days.

When I was still young and stupid I was in a relationship that lasted six years - but it was a roller coaster of chaos. I let my love for her make me weak and put up with all her bullshit no matter how humiliating until the point I just couldn't do it any more... she married three months after I left and that destroyed me, and I went on a drinking and fucking rampage... and I fucked a lot! I didn't care about anything and anyone and who I hurt along the way and I hurt many women back then... but many just kept coming back for more... but I did not give one fuck about them... I just fucked. It wasn't until I was in my thirties when I decided on the man I wanted to be and started to move in that direction - I am pleased with the results so far but it took me a while to put the pieces together and to pay attention to my actions when I reflected back on my behavior and decisions and mistakes I made in my youth - thinking a certain way will make me act a certain way, acting a certain way will get me a certain responses from those around me - so, if I can control my thoughts I can control my actions and if I control the way I act I can control how others respond to me. But this also is a power I used to get me more women that I did not care about... when it was time to get laid I went out and found a woman dressed up like a whore and I treated her like one and she was mine for the night... and I moved on - yeah, I had a lot of hatred for women - I will admit that, and the fact that women were letting themselves be treated badly justified my treatment of them - I lost women, because I was weak, to dominant men that treated them badly - "the red pill"... before I knew what the fuck the red pill was (before it was called the red pill). I am these days a solitary man, I prefer to be honest and kind to everyone and to be left alone to live my life my way.... I know it is easier in life to not give a damn about anything - but, you get what you give in this universe , so now days, for me it is easier just to be a nice guy - but being a nice guy does not get me laid and it does not get me respect in the street. We have to create other personalities for the world in order to get certain things - game to get women, mindset to get success, savagery to get respect... it will take some work to pull it all together and still keep a little bit of that gentleness and kindness that we as men need to help us do that which is right. Those that know me - my gang and inner circle know that I am a chill dude that just wants a simple life, but this modern world complicates even the simplest things like relationships. That girl was my down fall but I had to go through it, I had to learn those painful lessons the hard way - even though it was a truth I already knew, but refused to come to terms with.

All men will go through that pain and all men will go through that period of hate. Most men will go through that enlightenment and put the pieces together and find that thing called "the red pill" and many will struggle with coming to terms with the truth of it, but for many men, I believe, it is best that they learn these lessons the hard way.

Oh, in the last twenty years I have only been in one relationship with a woman that lasted a year, but all the others have not gone more than six months. Now that I am on a quest for a woman to have a family with I am behaving differently with women but I am also looking at them differently and they are responding to me differently but I am also spending less time with the tramps... we'll see what happens


Wednesday, March 15, 2017

The Joy of Little Things

It's good the great green earth to roam,
Where sights of awe the soul inspire;
But oh, it's best, the coming home,
The crackle of one's own hearth-fire!
You've hob-nobbed with the solemn Past;
You've seen the pageantry of kings;
Yet oh, how sweet to gain at last
The peace and rest of Little Things!

Perhaps you're counted with the Great;
You strain and strive with mighty men;
Your hand is on the helm of State;
Colossus-like you stride . . . and then
There comes a pause, a shining hour,
A dog that leaps, a hand that clings:
O Titan, turn from pomp and power;
Give all your heart to Little Things.

Go couch you childwise in the grass,
Believing it's some jungle strange,
Where mighty monsters peer and pass,
Where beetles roam and spiders range.
'Mid gloom and gleam of leaf and blade,
What dragons rasp their painted wings!
O magic world of shine and shade!
O beauty land of Little Things!

I sometimes wonder, after all,
Amid this tangled web of fate,
If what is great may not be small,
And what is small may not be great.
So wondering I go my way,
Yet in my heart contentment sings . . .
O may I ever see, I pray,
God's grace and love in Little Things.

So give to me, I only beg,
A little roof to call my own,
A little cider in the keg,
A little meat upon the bone;
A little garden by the sea,
A little boat that dips and swings . . .
Take wealth, take fame, but leave to me,
O Lord of Life, just Little Things

Robert William Service

Monday, March 13, 2017

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Young man lost in the modern world

This is part of a letter to a friend.  I later shared this here, at The Gentleman's Club. And now I am am sharing it here.

I was still in my early twenties and I was in a relationship with a young girl that made me crazy (and weak). I was uneducated and trying to find good work doing anything really – I was hustling on the side doing whatever I could to make money, mostly working in night clubs promoting or throwing my own parties in Juarez, but I wanted something more – like all young men, and looking for someone to teach me something… college was not for me and I was not about to join the military – I figured out as a young man that the only winners in wars are the ones selling the guns and loaning out the money. There was no one around to teach me anything not even how to pull off a decent hustle. My parents had nothing important to teach me, my brothers weren’t going to teach me and all the other men in my life were clueless… and I did ask older men for advice, no one had anything to offer but stupid sayings that really will do you no good when you are young and trying to build an important life – and that is what I wanted when I was young. Everything I knew I taught myself… it would not be until many failures that men would come into my life and help me relearn all that I thought I knew and help me to fine tune and work out the kinks in what I had learned on my own… and to these men I will always owe a dept of gratitude and kindness… remember that last statement – I will circle back around to it later.

He was an engineer of some kind – this old man that slammed the door in my face…
My girl friend’s mother had gone through three or four live in boyfriends since I knew them, this old worthless fart was the last one I knew before I left that girl and I do not remember his name – it is not important as the man himself is not important and deserves no kindness or respect from me other than what I already gave him when I knew him – No, I never disrespected him, nor was I ever rude to him or my girl’s mother… they however showed very little kindness to me and what ever bits of civility came only for the sake of the girlfriend…

Back then, as today, I did not drive (I have always had personal problems with licenses and permits) and took the bus or I would walk – I walked to her apartment – they were always changing apartment… it was not a far walk from where I was but I wanted to see her – I do not know why anymore but I made the walk to her place and knocked on the door – the old man opens the door and I greet him politely and ask to see her… he tells me she can not see me and that I cannot just show up whenever I like… I am confused and say I did not know it would be a problem and that I just need a moment with her. He tells me that it is a problem and that she cannot come to the door – I say I can wait outside for her – he says – “it’s time for you to leave” and I (really confused) say – “why are you so rude, I have never done anything” and he looks at me and says – “that is why…” It took me a moment to figure out what he just said and I quickly put together that because I had done nothing with my life I was not good enough to be with this young girl that he was not remotely related to in any way shape or form – not in this reality at least… and I, out of desperation, could only shrug my shoulders with palms open ready to receive wisdom that would make me a better young man, a young man worthy of just a little bit of respect from the world… I was pleading in silence… in simple but unmistakable gestures… give me something old man… point me in the right direction… give me a stupid saying from your generation… a bible quote… any little bit of advice… nothing… he didn’t even shake his head in disgust at me, he just shut the door and left me there looking and feeling like a fool…

Worthless piece of old man shit – I hope he burns in hell. That was very un-Christian of me to say and it is the behavior of a pissed off bitter little boy… well, that was just how it affected me… I do not remember that man’s name but I will never forget that moment… I do not remember what followed that… a lot of my memories of those days get jumbled up in the alcohol and drug haze that came after I broke up with the girl – but my memory tries to tell me that I stuck around outside waiting for her to come out – I can’t be certain nor do I even recall if I spoke to her about what happened… but I don’t think I did nor do I believe she would have actually given a fuck about it…

Even nice guys aren’t good enough – and that proved it to me – it was, to this day the only time a man shut the door on me – I have had men tell me they disapprove of me being with their daughters but they never slammed the door on me. They never tried to stop me or prevent me from seeing their daughters but they never slammed the door on me – I have never been disrespectful to any girls parents nor have I ever been rude to any of them… even when I was falling into the abyss and lost myself in the fucking rampage… but no one ever offered me a helping hand or a kind word of warning or advice… and so it was.

Since then – the things I have done with my life… well, most of them are bad things, most had no honor in them and were done mostly for my own greed and not for the betterment of mankind and the world and not really for my own personal growth – just greed… get it out of the way while you’re young and you can… and the good things – there weren’t many and no one is going to care really – no one will remember you for the good things you did – I truly believe that – the world does not want a hero, it does not want a good and righteous man to come and remind them of how worthless their own life is… the world is begging for a strong dominant leader to save them from themselves and give them a painful spanking with soothing words afterwards – “it’s not your fault, but daddy’s here now to show you the right way”, a leader who will do all the thinking for you while you zombie out on facebook and sports t.v. and dancing with the has been. This is not the age of the hero but of the villain. It is an age where the good guy truly will finish last – if he finishes at all. It is an age when the man of honor and integrity is laughed at and shunned for his loyalties and his pride and for his beliefs – it is the age of the victim where the man who has built a successful life is portrayed as the oppressor and the dignified hard working traditionalist is the equivalent of a member of the NAZI party… insane, I know. But this is the world we live in – where good men surrender their dignity to board an airplane and silence their true feelings just to hold onto their miserable jobs. Remember (name) we live in a world where women do not want nice guys, a world where the women that cry rape culture sweep the raping of Europe under the rug… a world where the kids that occupied Wall Street throw their full support for a woman that had all the financial backing of Wall Street and the Globalist elite… No, the good things you do for the world or for others will only be remembered by men of honor and those men are few and hard to find.

My last mentor, Dagmar’s father, is a man that became successful by helping other men. He became important by taking lost young men and turning them into men of honor and built a network of business men, attorneys, doctors, politicians, financiers, brokers and bankers, and even soldiers and a hustler here and there. He got to where he is by doing favors and collecting on those favors, not by collecting other men’s secrets but by sharing his own and sharing his vast network of disciples with – his vast network of disciples, of course… Don’t know why he took me in – nor why the other men that helped me helped me when they did – they were men I never asked anything of, but they helped me up, dusted me off and took me in and tried to teach me something – I know I was a stubborn and difficult pupil and went about taking the long hard road to learn the lessons they tried to help me avoid… but I got there eventually. The Master pointed me in the direction and gave me space and time to absorb and learn and made himself available to ask all the questions I needed to ask and provided me with the best answers he could give and if there was something he could not answer, together we would find the solution – it is the way he did things. He showed me his world, his life… his reality and made me believe it was in reach for someone like me… I did not accept his offer to go study under another man which he had helped – a man in his network of disciples and learn to make a living in a respectable field as the others… I had to do things on my own – but, I do wish I had decided back then on the life I wanted and taken him up on the offer and gone to work in a brokerage back then instead of doing it alone.

Earl Nightingale tells us that success is “the progressive realization of a worthy goal” and that success is a man doing what he wants to do because that is what he wanted to do and he is doing a good job at it – very true words as far as my own beliefs and I do not compare my life to others – I do not compare what I have or what I do not have… how I live and how I do not live to the lives of others… I live my life in pursuit of the life I wish to have and form and shape my reality into the way I want it in accordance to the life of the man I wish to be… But (name), this also is true, and it is true for the most humble of men to the most powerful of men in the measurement of success and I learned this from my teacher – it is not something he told me or ever hinted at, it is something I learned from observation and the only thing that I do use to measure my own success… in comparison to other men, that is – the number of men you can rely on to help you out – no questions asked, when you find yourself  in need of assistance no matter what that might be… and there it is. You do not need to be a powerful man. You do not need to be a wealthy man, but in life, sometimes shit happens and when it happens, who can you call on, knowing without a doubt, that the one you call on will be there for you. For Dagmar’s father, I am, as many other men scattered around the world ready to offer the man my help in any way shape or form if it is needed with out him having to ask -no questions asked, I am there. The same goes for the other men that helped me… even if all debts of honor have been payed in full.

A man can do anything alone and be answerable to no man, he can build his life without debts to another and be proud of what he has accomplished in the world and the life he built and many have done just that, unfortunately, many of those man only have their financial success and their material wealth by which they define their lives and if they were to lose it all they have nothing in this world – because they did it alone and in their minds they were the penthouse apartment, they were the Bentley, they were the brand tagged on their inside coat pocket. They are nothing without the fame, the prestige and the attention. They are nothing without the hangers on and the ass kissers riding the free-loader express… nothing. But on the other hand – the man with a tribe behind him to help him up when the chips are down who have little concern for your ego but allows you the dignity of face that will offer you a job to help you get back on your feet, a place to rest in exchange for work around the farm, a contact in a foreign city to help get you out of a pickle… that in itself is worth a couple of pounds of gold for certain men of honor.

For the most part – I have done it all alone and I had, at one point, defined my life by material possessions and the digits in my bank account. Fortunately (or unfortunately), life knows when to kick a man in the dick, and I know what it is to be out on the street and I know what it is to not have a penny in your pocket and what it is like to go without warmth and food and the kind word of a friend and out of pride (and stupidity) I would not even call my family for help. But I rose up – it took a long time and it was a struggle and I did find help along the way, but I can now honestly say that at forty seven I am basically the same kid I was when I was seventeen… a bit more quiet, dark sense of humor, loner, still suspicious and paranoid and trust very few people, I have a tendency to slip into self destructive periods of not giving a fuck about anything and anyone and I am still looking for Jesus everywhere I go and a little bit of beauty in the world to sooth the demon in me that wants to burn it all to the ground… and if I lost it all and had to start over again I would be the same man I am in the dark shadow as I am in the bright light. I am the same man I am with a fashion model as I am with a waitress, the same man I am with my gang as I am with my family… if I had no money I would be the same man, the only difference between the character of the boy I was when I was seventeen and the man I am today is that today I know how to make money and if I lost it all again I would just pick myself up, dust myself off and get to work getting it back – you see, once you have learned how, you can’t unlearn it, but as far as the consistency of my character… it wont change any more – this is who I am and this is what you get – also (name) this is import, and it’s a truth that will help you very much in the long run with women and their shit tests – they want to see that consistency of your character – if the first impression of you is a strong willed bad boy… that is what they want you to be for ever, they want you to do what you say you will do, say what you mean and mean what you say, do not bend or break for them or anyone else – that is the point of the shit test – can I break this man… will he change for me… is the will of his character strong enough… does he define his life by what he has or is it something deeper within that can not be taken away and will not be surrendered – it is why women have no respect for weak men that kiss their ass and why they do not appreciate anything you do for them or give them just because they asked for it… a man with a strong will of character is the kind of man that others want to be lead by – a man who can make a hard decision with out hesitation and answer for his mistakes later but with out regrets… this I have learned in my life. The other difference in my life from the boy to the man is the tribe I have built and the men I have gathered around me that I might never find myself without someone to rely on at three in the morning with no questions asked to help my out of a pickle – no matter what that might be.

This past year I have been corresponding with many new friends online giving advice and trying to solve problems and coming up with solutions to remedy the madness of the world… I hope I am proving valuable answers. When I was young there was no ‘Return of Kings’ there was no ‘Roosh V Forum’ there was no Victor Pride and all of these other countless resources for young men to go to to find help and advice from men that have been there and men that are doing it – from getting women to making money. Since others started to e-mail me with enquiries and asking for advice I have tried to help them all. I have not refused but one request for advice – I feel bad about that one but I felt I was not ready to give advice but it turns out that I am – but that final judgement is yours, if there is something I do not have the answer to we will try to find it together or find another in the network that can… that is what I am trying to build – aside from the tribe, a network… as my teachers had built. I can only hope that I can do as good of a job as they did and that before I slam the door on a young man, I will at least have a helpful word of advice for him before I do so.
 art by
Pam Powell

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Dash Deringer’s Advice to Young Men:


I will be forty eight years old in a few days... what a ride it’s been - especially the missing years and the wasted years weren’t all that bad either - there was always a lesson to be learned... and the girls... mamma mia, the girls... I have had some fine pussy my friends... most of them where insane and many were down right whores, sluts, tramps... liberated women or whatever the hell they call themselves - they were dirty bitches... but I will be fair, there were some along the way that were worth the wait and got some kindness and respect from me...but they still were not worthy of getting the very best of me... because they are, after all still girls in this modern world and despite of what others tell you, young friend - they are all the same... no matter where you go and how old they are, they are all the same.
Not bitter  - I have accepted  the reality of the observations and conclusions of all the women that have come and gone in my life - the reality of their actions, not the lies they repeat over and over... but the way they act and treat others and their manipulations and deceit, their attention whoring and need for drama and validation, their total lack of any honor or dignity or modesty and self respect.  Believe all you want to believe but here’s the truth - a woman who isn’t like that is wearing a hijab and there is a strong man holding her leash in on hand and a stick to beat her with in the other.

Women dig jerks... they love ass-holes... understand this and except this as gospel - a women is not going to ride in and save you like in the movies... a woman does not want a man that she needs to rescue nor can she.  She hates weak men and men that enable her foolish desires... she has no respect for the white knight telling her what she wants to hear, she has no respect for the white knight coming to her rescue on the internet, she has no respect for the white knight cheering her on “you go girl!” and most important, she is not going to thank you with sex and love and devotion for it... but that ass-hole who doesn’t respect her is going to bang her.

You will double your chances getting more women if you do this one thing - live your life in pursuit of your own fucking happiness.  Whatever it is that you are after you must go after that thing with all your mind body and soul, with all your faith and determination and you, my friend, will become a force of nature - the world will gravitate to you and around you... but I know you are a sexually frustrated young man and all work and no play will get to you  - so get a whore and get your ass back to building your dream.  The women will come to you.

But you are young and you don’t know yet what the hell you want out of life but want to get laid...  Come to terms with this truth - women will bang a loser douchebag - if he provides her with drama and an emotional roller coaster ride and he’s got some narcotics... she will fuck the shit out of you... think women hang with garage band douchbags because they have talent or wanna be gansta’ rappers because they are going places... no. 

If the only thing a woman is bringing to the table is her vagina - show her as little kindness and respect as you can - in fact set your standards so high with women that they have to work hard for that respect.  Don’t put her on a pedestal - she does not deserve to be there, she doesn’t want it and you will be disappointed when she leaves you for an ass-hole.  There is only so much bull-shit you can take from a woman before you snap - and they want to know how much in takes for you to break  - they want to see what you are made of - how will you respond to their shit tests.  I do one of  two things. 1) I think about captain Rhet Butler of ‘Gone with The Wind’ and wonder “what would Rhet do” and I do that - so pick your hero, real or fiction and ask yourself how that person would respond or react to something and do that. 2) a give her a ‘hmmmn...’  I am going to do my best to describe this - it is a half sigh half grunt breathing out from the nose with the lips closed while releasing a ‘hmmmn as you breath out while nodding your head slowly... sometimes I throw in a devious grin at the end... she isn’t going to know what the hell that means but it makes her wonder and worry and puts her on guard - I stumbled across that one by accident but it works... she will push you for your response but only because she is worried about what is going through your mind... walk away in silence if you can, if you are in a position where you cannot walk away then just keep that grin, look her dead in the eye and nod in agreement with whatever the fuck she said... it is a pretty good chance you are going to end up dumping this bitch or she will dump you - so really... fuck her like a whore one more time and get out... practice the ‘hmmmn’ like you would your poker face and master it... I know... fucking games - but remember we didn’t event the game or it’s rules... play your game with your rules and see how she responds to it.

Women want you to be consistent in your character - they want you to be a man - at all times. Say what you mean and mean what you say - do not bend or break for them... your will must be stronger than hers... your reality must be resolute and unchangeable... your frame must be firm and steady like a ship at the bottom of the sea - it’s not moving any more... that is who she wants to surrender to... the man that is in control of his emotions, his mind, his life and his destiny and he will not surrender non of it to anyone for anything - not even her.

Do you need money to get women - it helps, but not needed. If you are a man of strong character whether you are a douche or a monk and you show that you are the same man with or with out her, rich or poor, through good times or bad times... you are who you are without apologies, excuses or explanations... you will be more attractive to her... because that my friend is a man - good or bad... that is what makes a man.

Remember to never take anything she says too serious no matter how she says it but to judge her purely by her actions.  Lay down the law from the beginning of a relationship and be swift and just in punishing bad behavior. Dominate her and the relationship if it is a relationship you wish to maintain - you are the boss, the daddy... the king.  If you are just fucking her, don’t care so much about her... if she isn’t investing anything into the relationship - not cooking for you, cleaning for you, inspiring you and allowing you space and independence to pursue your dreams and is not supporting your efforts in bettering yourself and creating a better life... then, my friend, she’s just your whore, don’t get emotional over her. 

SEX - fuck her like there is no tomorrow... fuck her like you will be serving a life sentence in prison the next day... like you have been chosen for a suicide mission for your country and you know you won't be coming home... fuck her like she was your hostage and a S.W.A.T. team is waiting for you outside to take you out like a man should go - in a blaze of glory... because there is no tomorrow...

Women do not know what the hell it is that they want - they are followers, they need guidance, and they need a firm controlling hand - Feminism and Islam... is just another shit test. Feminism and Islam are not compatible, they are two ideas in conflict and at odds with each other - there is absolutely no room for feminism in Islam.  For a feminist to say that she accepts Islam is her openly stating that she accepts the dominance of a man... and that is what all women truly want - to be dominated and led by a man... not a boy that thinks he is but a man who knows he is - a man... but they will test you and push you and drive you to the edge to see if you are that man... and many unfortunate silly bitches have the shit beat out of them because they didn’t know when to stop.  Feminism is and always has been a shit test - the feminist/Islam marriage is the last card they have to play.  There is no room for slutish behavior in Islam. There are no marches for women’s rights in Islam.  There are no girls night out in Islam.  There is no abortion in Islam.  There is no divorce in Islam - when they held the women’s march after the new president took office in one photo of the event I saw a woman holding a sign up that had that girl Malala on it  - these woman where praising Islam and their acceptance of Sharia law and marching with signs that had Malala’s face on them - Malala was the young Pakistani  girl pulled out of a buss and shot by the Taliban for going to school - so what the fuck were these crazy bitches marching for - to empower women or to shoot the girls getting an education... confused?   Don’t be - it’s all a joke.  And this  feminism - loves Islam meme is the punch line.

Learn what you can about “game” - “game” is nothing more than understanding the psychology of women - the why’s and how’s of their thinking... making sense of their make no sense logic and emotionally driven choices... their insecurities and their fears and how to use it all to your advantage... use it for good or for evil but learn it and use it or find yourself alone for the rest of your life... If I recommend one book on the subject to help you out - it would be Robert Greens ‘the Art of Seduction’ - study it like you were going for your BAR exam... while you are at it go ahead and pick up ‘48 laws’ as well.

Love - I believe in love... I remember being in love - I remember how it made me weak for it and I remember the strength I gained from it... love, is a beautiful wonderful thing... and I hope to hold it in my hands once more... but...

I have been, since 1996, fucking them and dumping them, that now... I wouldn’t know what to do with love if it found me... nor would I even trust in it anymore... and believe it or not I am on a quest for a woman to have children with... but, as I have said before - I have never known a woman that married for love... why should I...

And that young man is the price you pay for a life of chasing woman in this modern world - you lose your innocence and you lose faith in all of them.

Monday, February 27, 2017

life by candle light

He is not a wealthy man, not even close to being a rich man and there just wasn’t enough time for him to accumulate his fuck you money, but he lives a comfortable life - a simple life, and at his age - he is in his mid seventies, he has reached  the point of no tolerance for the modern world, that he has said "fuck off” and pulled the plug on the lights and has been living a life by candle light.

My Uncle - he is a cousin of my mothers and I call him an Uncle, lives in Mexico, he is retired living a humble life off of his savings and a small pension, in a little house with his dogs and a vegetable garden with chickens wandering about the way chickens do.  I speak with his sister, my favorite Aunt, regularly and she first told me of her brothers life style last year and I became fascinated by it as I have been myself looking for just the right land to run off to and live my life by candle light as well.  My Aunt told me - he got rid off all his light bulbs, radio and television and the only electricity is for running the fridge, the stove is gas but he cooks outside in the summer on a grill and when it gets cold he uses the stove. In his little yard he grows carrots, celery, tomatoes, green beans, and lettuce in wooden boxes filled with soil, he is also growing a lemon tree and there are the chickens. The dogs play in the little courtyard in front... she says the man is happy - they have another sister that wants to have him put into a home... there’s one in every family, my Aunt asked me what I would do and I said I would love to live like that and can’t wait to get the hell out of these cities I am in and build a cottage of my own and live that simple life... I said if the man is happy and healthy and no danger to any one or himself then leave him the hell alone  - he’s not insane - he’s better off than the rest of us... he rises with the sun and the sounds of the hens and does his morning exercises, takes the dogs out for a walk and comes home for his breakfast - eggs from his own chickens with some rice and tortillas and coffee - he has plans on building a small brick oven in a corner of the yard for baking fresh bread and meats. My Aunt agrees with me - her brother is happy and he deserves to live as he has chosen - when she told me how much money he spends I was really more surprised about that than anything else - his electric bill is (only for fridge) close to nothing, he purchases the gas tanks for the stove which he only uses a couple months out of the year, and to heat the water for his bath, dog food, rice beans and flour and corn and meat - every other day he walks down to the cantina for a drink with the boys and rousing conversation about why the Mexicans are so mad at Mr. Trump - they are old men who have no desire to leave Mexico and are of the opinion that if you are not in Mexico to Make Mexico Great Again then stay the fuck out.  He does not drink more than a couple of beers and a tequila maybe then he goes home.  He catches up on his reading until it gets dark and goes to bed early.  He eats out once every couple of weeks.  He has no one to support and no one supports him... once a week he walks to a market where they have a money transfer and telephones to talk to my Aunt... everyone around him knows he has simplified and is retired and others, who have the space, have begun to garden, mostly older folks - of course they are from a generation that knew tougher times - as for my uncle, he grew up on a poor man’s ranch and knows how to do with out luxuries such as light-bulbs, and air conditioning and heat (he does have a wood burning heater).  The biggest change I am told of in this aging gentleman, aside from his lack of concern for the problems of the modern world, is his new found confidence and self assurance that comes from being a self sufficient man - even at his age.

When The Lights Go Out

I have been preaching candle light for a while now - I am sure some of the people I have been corresponding with find it annoying - but I do it for a reason, it is to get you accustomed to as little grid energy as possible and more self dependance and discipline - yes, it takes discipline to go off grid.  As the world falls further into chaos the hardest fall may just be in the United States - the greatest country history has ever produced - the land that gave the world the greatest opportunities for wealth and comfort beyond your dreams. So much comfort that it has made the people weak and dependent on others to insure their safety, security and sustenance - no need for a garden when there is a produce market and restaurants of all kinds to cater to your glutenous desires. There is so much booze and drugs and entertainment in America one never has to think again as long as you have money for it - and even if you didn’t we have a welfare program to suit your needs in America. If anything happens - and it will never happen here, the government will take care of us - those preppers are just crazy people... well I have news for you - if you have not yet figured it out - your government is not going to be there to help you, and yeah, those preppers are crazy people because they think they can just walk away from the system when the system shuts down.  What is that system? It’s the corporate/government complex that requires the dependence of the masses in order to function... and lets be honest here, if you have any money invested in any company and you rely on that investment for your family  you need the wheels of the system to keep turning - I sure do... but big daddy told me not to keep all my eggs in one basket so you need to put some of it in precious metals and some of it in rice and beans... even if you just have a million dollars in an account accumulating interest that you live off of, you need the system... you can not walk away from it and all those do-gooders that preach about your carbon foot print and how much waste you produce by being here - the people that don’t do anything themselves to save the world but preach to others how they should live will not let you successfully walk away from the system - if you are one of the ones the system relies on to keep the wheels turning - hard working, blue collar, middle class, conservative traditionalist of  Christian values with a strong work ethic... yeah... you’re the ones keeping the wheels of the system oiled and spinning... you ain’t going anywhere... but a work camp for reeducation, if we have to we’ll bring in foreigners to do your job... but you, my friend, will not walk away from the system. You can’t even go completely off grid in a city - I have recently discovered while converting a house to solar power that first you need permission from the electric company and still you cannot be cut off completely from the grid and you cannot shut off your water - but if you do not pay that bill they will shut it off for you - that is strange - the only way to go completely off the grid is to go to a place where the land is so cheap and worthless that no one in their right mind would want to live there - but if you succeed in your efforts of building a sustainable life without the system then you can be fairly sure that a scenario much like that of the Branch Davidians of Waco Texas awaits you... because that, my delusional little friend, is what is called freedom... and America will have none of that... especially not in the eyes of the socialist do-gooder.

The lights will go out - it will come without a warning.  The men keeping the country and the system from totally collapsing - those hard working, blue collar, middle class, conservative traditionalist of  Christian values with a strong work ethic that I mentioned, will soon turn the lights off - these men that don’t have the time to march and protest because they have responsibilities and families to take care off... these men paying the bills and doing the heavy lifting are running out of money and patience and reasons to give a fuck about the system that turned their backs on them and allows the lazy, weak, and ungrateful to belittle them and degrade them for their beliefs and way of life... they struggle to provide a better life for their families as their fathers did in a country that wants them to give more and more while getting less in return.

The lights will go out... and it will come without a warning, but you are a man and you will not panic - your house is prepared, you have canned food and rice and beans, you have ammo and guns and bandages... toothpaste and handy wipes... you have water and you have candles... you have  solar panels enough to run a small refrigerator and lap top computer... you have a small garden and you have a tribe and your tribe has it’s own communications and resources.  When the lights go out you will be home protecting your family and your tribe while the rest of the country stumbles in the dark in chaos and they find out who the rapists are, the street gangs claim their territory and the blacks pillage the stores for big screen televisions, and the weak and scared unprepared masses loot the stores for left overs and they riot destroying property that could provide them refuge... you can only shake your head in silent confidence - before the sun comes up your tribe has secured a couple of neighborhoods and thrown the unproductive, no skills, worthless degenerates out into the world they wanted...

So please - for your own good, learn to enjoy the stillness of a life by candle light.

one of the best pieces of gear you will ever own,
I own a couple and take one whenever I travel.
    I highly recommend.