Saturday, February 28, 2015

let the night fall

Let the night fall
slowly and gently
cover my heart
with the stars in your eyes
Let the night fall
like a feather from an owls wing
floating carelessly
through the sky

Let the night fall
like petals from a flower
from your penthouse apartment
onto the street
Let the night fall
like leaves in Autumn
as sad and lonely as my heart beats

Let the night fall
like the whispers of a lover
calming the butterflies inside
Let the night fall
like the tears of my mother
a ripple that turns into a tide

3 comments:

deborahflorence said...

"from your penthouse apartment into the street" doesen't fit in this poem---the rest of the poem is about night, stars, butterflies--nature plus emotion like a mother's tears

The Language Arts teacher in me will give it a grade of "B." BTW, I haven't taught in a while. I'm a stay-at-home mom.

You mentioned your mother in this poem. If you haven't yet, then maybe you should give her a call. If you revise the penthouse part, she might really like it and you can read it to her ove the phone.

deborahflorence said...

Most of your poetry is about love. As a reference, I would recommend Shakespeares's love sonnets--all 154 of them. I love them!!!!

A sonnet must be written in iambic pentameter--an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable and repeated five times per line.

A sonnet must have 14 lines--no more and no less.

The first 12 lines must be unrhymed. Lines 13 and 14 must be written as a couplet meaning the last word of line 13 and the last word of line 14 must ryhme.

To me, even more than his plays, Shakespeare's love sonnets prove his literary genius.

deborahflorence said...

did you know ...

virgil wrote the Aeneid between 29 and 19 BC. It took him 12 years to write. Legend has it that he only wrote 3 lines a day because he wanted it to be perfect.

It is 9,896 lines written in dactylic hexameter. ---one long syllable followed by two short ones repeated six times per line.

Upon his death bed, he asked that it be burned because it wasn't finished and not perfect. Fortunately, that didn't happen--they decided it was too great!