Wednesday, July 8, 2015

looking for a country girl

Life is simple out in the country - you get up early work your garden and your livestock gather up your days food, collect your eggs, feed your animals, milk your cows... fix what needs fixin’ and leave the rest to nature... spend time with your family... make love to your wife... get to bed early... start a new day... simple.  Life is not too complicated out in the country... or out at sea... at sea you want to get to where you are going with out drowning... don’t lose your cargo... keep track of your supplies... don’t drown... pretty easy...

Over the weekend I went for a long hike in the mountains in El Paso - I needed some much deserved alone time and I wanted away from the world - up on the mountain life was pretty simple for the twelve hours I was up there walking - watch your step... don’t stumble and fall into some crevice... I came back down from the mountain hungry and tired but a good tired and a good hungry... my soul a little cleaner... my mind less cluttered... my energy recharged - at least for the next week... and what did I come down for... this chaotic miserable society I live in... to the do-gooders and their never ending lectures and fights for “justice”... the fags and the manipulated race tensions... the crime... this broken country... what the hell did I come down for... oh yes... a wife!

Yup... I said it... for a while now I have been giving it some thought... see, I take lots of pride in my bachelor ways and the fact that I don’t need a woman and I do not make women a priority in my life... I am happy alone and prefer it... I enjoy coming and going as I please and not making excuses for my coming and going and having to invent alibis for my whereabouts... I like being able to pick and chose what girl I will spend a weekend with and who I will be bedding when it pleases me... I keep regular girls on the side which usually get rotated and bumped of the list and replaced... it took me a long time to be able to get to this point as a man... and am wondering if I should let it go... as I said before I may be part of the problem with the sleeping around and chasing of the whores and sluts in America... doesn’t help to better the women and does not help the men either by adding myself to the notch count of the women... but if I am not going to be tramping around... is it time to settle down?

Is marriage the next step for Dash Deringer?  I do want to raise children of my own... but would rather not do it alone and prefer to be married  if  I am to do it... family to me is very important and I take marriage very serious... I have written before that I wanted to marry when I was younger - I am very glad now that I did not... at least not to the person I wanted then and not at that time of my life... I have grown in many ways - I do believe to be a better person... and that could only have happened by going through all that I have gone through which would not have happened if I had married young... and I am very happy with the person I have become and the man I am on my way to becoming... as I have said before - I was turning into a bit of a pussy in my twenties... and I have toughened up - don’t let the love poems fool you... I am considered and ass-hole... but once I let you into the circle... you’ll be glad to have me as a friend... so, I am now forty six and contemplating marriage... family... and the simple life on a small farm - I have been thinking about the farm for a long time now as some know... is it time?

Should I bring children into this chaos?

Can I build a better world for them?
Can I raise good men and fine ladies?

Can I find a wife... finding women to have sex with is easy... a wife? That’s something different.

I know that finding a good woman in The United states is not going to be easy - all the good ones get taken up fast and those that have not fallen for the bullshit that is feminism might be too young to get away with in this country... and finding one that wants to stay on the farm... good luck Dash... Women like their drama... western women more so than any other, requires drama... they don’t just want it - they need it... why do you think romance novels sell so much... and soap operas last for so long... now they have their scripted “reality” shows... and facebook... that is what women want... they want to star in their own reality show... they don’t want a boring uneventful life on the farm... they want sex and the city... even in Mexico it is getting harder to find a country girl that wants to stay a country girl... and I have already started looking around in Mexico... but also... the problem might be that I have grown very accustomed to dating girls - from 18 - 24... some 25 and 26... but mostly, lately under 20... hey life is good... I don’t really know how I do it - I just do... like I said I don’t have too much game... at least I don’t think so... but maybe... it’s that I don’t make it too complicated and just go for it... well... I don’t want a women too old to have children... if I start having children now I will be in my sixties when they are in their twenties... and if I keep up with this active lifestyle - camping and hiking - I should be able to keep up with them... and I will need a strong healthy wife on the farm - smart and well adjusted to keep up what I will build for her and my children should something happen to me... or if I must go away for a while... so where do I find these country girls?

A few days before I went on my hike I saw a Mennonite family at the market - they come up from the interior of Mexico from time to time to do some shopping or trading... to pick up relatives or to put some on the bus... in Juarez and El Paso I always look on them with marvel... these people that have successfully separated themselves from the chaos of this modern world... these rugged men in their dungaree overalls and skinned burned by the sun... their blonde hair covered under cowboy hats... their wives plump but feminine... with their shy smiles and red cheeks... their daughters in girly dresses that mother sewed for them... and their sons... handsome and curious... what does their father tell them of the modern world that surrounds them when they sit down to eat in a restaurant... do they just laugh at us... do they feel sorry for us... are we the suckers... how do I get me one of those young country wives and have me fine children like that - if you have never seen a Mennonite family from Mexico or South America... well... they are very good looking people... and very happy... would they let me in... or am I just the kind of man they keep their daughters away from...

Right now I must say that American girls will have to do a lot of work just to get onto the list.

Mexican girls are on the list - Because I am Mexican and it would just be easier to look for a wife among my own kind... though I myself am a half-breed...

I would love a country girl from Japan - as everyone who knows me knows... and The Philippines, as everyone keeps telling me, has nice country girls that want to be good wives... and they are in many ways... just like Mexicans... so - on the list...

Very high on the list would be Russian country girls... who wouldn’t like a nice Russian girl from the country raised in a strong traditional family... I’ll take two!

You may have already figured it out - in order for me to find the right one I have to keep weeding out the bad ones... which means I just have to keep looking around and testing them out... not simple at all... finding a wife...

All my brothers have gone through a divorce... it wasn’t pretty nor was it something I enjoyed witnessing - especially when those of us not involved in their marriage were dragged through the mud as well... they of course married Americans... I of course said... “dude... A Mexican was good enough for dad... what were you thinking?”

Rest At Harvest
1865
William-Adolphe Bouguereau

7 comments:

Henry To-You said...

This was a lovely post. I've been keeping up with your blog, although I've let the ivy of neglect grow round mine. I keep meaning to write, but really there is nothing to say. Life is peaceful, and the land is beautiful at this time of year. The trees are lush and green, and the first fruits are through. The vegetable garden is in full swing, full of wonderful variety. The gardens themselves are full of colour, with tens of thousands of bees busy working their ancient magick. I came back from sailing last Saturday, in the brilliant sunshine, and sat in the garden and watched the bees on the flowers, some collecting nectar, some collecting pollen, all working towards their greater purpose with peaceful predictability. I sat down tonight to write something for my own blog, but it rang hollow, and I went out with my rifle in the evening sunshine instead.

It is hard to feel such anger and disappointment away from the city. When I'm forced to go on business I return furious, but it's hard for the fury to last. I look out with horror on how my country is progressing, and with such speed, but I am too insulated from it here, and too solitary by nature to really start a gang. If I did, we'd be pirates, and rape and pillage has gone too far out of fashion to find a ready supply of shipmates. Besides, noone is really interested in freedom anymore - it's too hard and uncompromising, too unforgiving-a-mirror to the slothful habits brought on by this modern malaise.

I admire what Simon is trying to achieve, and enjoyed his latest blog post. If I were a joiner of movements I would certainly join his, he seems like one of the few men left worth following. Unfortunately, I cannot deny my nature. If, and when, the time comes, I will be more like Vasily Zaytsev, firmly onside, but likely alone with my rifle.

Be well, brother, and may the mountains and the sea help to ease the restlessness a little.

dash deringer said...

Henry -

I have been thinking about you... why isn't Henry writing...
You see this here... what you just wrote... this honesty... this truth in your writing that one can hear your voice... this short comment belongs in your journal... it is good to hear form you once more... yours is a life worthy of envy... I have been thinking of a country life for a while now but I want it more and more now... I constantly visit your site looking for something new... ideas... and inspiration...

As you may have guessed, I too am not much for movements and am not into joining groups... but... Simon does inspire... and I do support his cause... but he is in Afghanistan trying to save Europe and I am struggling to stay afloat in America... but...I do believe I would follow Simon into a burning forest... and I can't say that much about other men... Still - it is good to know that there are others that feel as Simon does... as I do... as you do... it is good to know that when push comes to shove... we can find a brotherhood when we need one... if you need a friend - I am here for you... and... I have done my fair share of smuggling and boot-legging... so... raping and pillaging... I'd join that crew...

I know that there is only so much we can do to try to change this mess of a world we inherited... and I too am best just left alone... my mother's father was a rancher... and he wanted to be left alone so much that he had to fight off the government and Pancho Villa both... they both wanted what he worked hard for - fuck 'em... and I am just like he was... but when the time comes Henry... it's always men like us... the world is not going to leave us alone... we'll have to protect and fight for our solitude...

Take care my friend... it is good to here from you.

Henry To-You said...

I shall try harder to keep up with my writing then, although I fear the tone will be more overtly disparaging towards modern 'civilized' life.It is perhaps possible to be too withdrawn from our society, to be too unconcerned with the current situation due to the peace and perfection of my surroundings.

My plans for exploring freedom are many and varied - perhaps I shall write about a few of those. It is hard to write at length about my lifestyle in the day to day sense, as it is simple, and beautiful, and there is little else to say - "'Beauty is truth, truth beauty', - that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know".

It is encouraging to hear your view on Simon's project, as you've obviously had more extensive contact with him than I. As you say, it is good to know there are others out there, perhaps not all that far away, who feel as we do.

In another life I would have loved to have been a rancher. The space, the freedom, the harship - would all have been wonderful.

Simon said...

You're both very kind. I love reading both of your journals. I'll echo Victor here: I'm envious of the life you write about and want to hear more about it. That comment - ironically a comment about not writing - is definitely worth publishing. I often find that ideas for posts come from comments I make, or from reading little bits here and there.

There are many blogs describing the hollowness and futility of modern life - the world needs to hear more about the men who are going their own way, and rebelling against the modern world in whatever way they see fit, whether they are doing it as part of a gang of outlaws or if they're just a man putting down some roots in the soil and going it alone. I like reading your blogs because it helps to remind me that there is still beauty and decency in the world, there are still people striving against modernity, there's still hope. What you are doing reminds me of what I would like to do once I have finished out here - so I find your writing useful as well as inspirational.

I admire any man who is willing to face the storm alone - such rugged individualism has been a trait that men have admired since the dawn of time. The world is safer as part of a band of brothers, but that makes the Waylands and the Aragorns of this world all the more rare and special. But if there ever comes a time you ever want some backup Henry, you know where we are - you'd be more than welcome.

Henry To-You said...

Simon,

Thank you for the kind words. I've been thinking about what you and Victor have said, and realise that I have been fortunate to have been exposed to ways of life that many will have forgotten about, and consequently may be worth posting - things I perhaps take for granted as skills I've developed. For example, a man I used to do a great deal of work for in my school holidays was an old school slaughterman and shepherd, who's over 70 now and still doing sheep and cattle. I learned a tremendous amount for him, needless to say, and I'm putting a post together on some of it.

As for my own goals, as lucky as I am to be where I am, I long to escape to the west coast of Scotland, and to buy a derelict croft on a sea loch. I built the house I currently live in, though I'm not a builder by trade, so have some experience of sorting such things out. From there I would hope to acquire small packets of additional land as finances allowed, and to gradually increase my demesne. I have a friend, an old ex-soldier, who has such a place, and it is a 4 hour walk across the mountains to get to him. It is the closest place to paradise I have ever been.

I am hugely supportive of what you are doing Simon, and very interested. Out of respect for what you're trying to achieve, I haven't wanted to ask too many questions, particularly not publicly, or to take up too much of your time explaining to someone who is sort of half in, and half out.

Simon said...

Henry, I'll always have time to answer questions. While I am away internet is limited somewhat, but I have plenty of time. If you want to email me at hq@thisblogisdangerous.com and I'll reply with my personal email address - the website email is a bit clunky anyway. You've had a fascinating life already so it'd be a pleasure to talk with you, certainly not a burden.

I'm really interested to see how your project develops. It seems our visions have much in common. I'm looking at land in Sweden at the moment, to build something there similar to your idea about Scotland, as my own personal line in the sand which will not be crossed.

Henry To-You said...

The very mention of it is enough to make a man want to self-immolate.