Friday, March 13, 2015

Image

Sometimes I complicate my own life... in my pursuit to simplify my life I let things get out of control... image... seems to be the problem... but as I have now fully adopted an attitude of not giving a damn about anything or anybody other than myself... an experiment that is proving to be quite powerful in accomplishing a great deal of success in another pursuit - my happiness...

The problem of  “image” is that it is all to please other people... I would love to be a beach combing hippie and spend my days and nights lounging by the sea surrounded by little brown girls in Thailand... a hippie of means is the best kind... a hippie that has no problem working his ass off now and then to support his lifestyle is the kind of hippie I would be... but most of then are just bums... and I can’t really stand them... I have dated a lot of hippie chicks... and though they are great in bed... they are mostly crazy and seem to not like the fact that I am a capitalist... all women like to be wined and dined but these hippie girls will actually lecture me on the evils of money as they sip on some very expensive wine at a very trendy and pricey restaurant...silly goofy chicks... When I lived in the Waukegan Illinois area... for the longest time I had no furniture... I lived in a good sized studio and looking at it empty resembled a dance studio... I worked too much... at that time I was in the restaurant business... and worked all day I went home to shower and sleep and bang a girl now and then... and that banging happened mostly on the floor... the first pieces of furniture I purchased after a few years of not having none was an antique desk I picked up for $300 and a chair... and I wrote and ate there in my free time... I sat and read there and on occasion - banged a chick or two on the desk as well... as I got more free time and my travels to the city came less and less for pursuing other goals, the women started to nag me about my space... they didn’t seem to want to spend much time there and I did not really care if they came or went and when... mostly if a woman was there it was for one thing - sex... and then they would leave... I bought a bed... and the women... lingered longer... dining table and more chairs and they were staying for breakfast... television and sofa - I’m now having relationships... and complications into my simple life... back then I was also dealing in art and first edition books so I had shelves but they over-flowed to all the corners... I didn’t want all that stuff... but the women needed it and the image of the player bachelor now had to be maintained... and I hated it - it was stupid - for I was doing very well without it...

When I lived in my car - it sucked... because it was a tiny Lazar RX  - I wish I had a van... and I have thought many times of getting a van and converting it to a tiny house on wheels -which I could  be very comfortable in but the woman just wont dig that sort of thing - well not too many of the women I have become accustomed too... the hippie chicks wont mind it but... the capitalist thing... of course living in a van would be stepping down  - as I went for so long without having anything so that I could have now... I sacrificed and gave up luxuries and things I did not need to have money to invest and rebuild my life on my terms... and now I can have and afford  pretty much all that I want... comes the house... and you have to fill it with junk... nice expensive pretty junk... that pleases me... the image is there... but this time it’s for me... It is not a big place... like the hide out - it is cozy... the women that I bring home like to linger and lounge around as my surrounding are inviting and pleasing and relaxing... but mostly I spend my time here alone... that is really my image... and despite what one may gather from reading these Deringer Files - my life is not one big spring break orgy...

every night...

3 comments:

deborahann15 said...

My mom and dad separated when I was 9. We went to live with my grandmother. My dad chose to live homeless. He lived in a volkswagon bus for years. My mom always took us to where ever he was staying. My dad never cared about stuff--stuff came and went. Since he never really had a place we could go stay awhile, he would come visit us sometimes. He would sometimes say that my mother was best taken in small doses and so he kinda knew when it was time to leave.

Besides me and my sister, he had friends. The true blue kind. When you don't have much, that's the kind of friends you get. He was true blue too--no show and nothing fake. I try to be like him in that respect every day of my life.

deborahann15 said...

I wonder who else reads your stuff right now besides me. Anyway, if you're about to scream or swear then stop!!!

And now, you don't have to have much. A computer is nice. Go to youtube. Type in "sugar Maroon 5." On Dec. 6, 2014, the band Maroon 5 hit as many weddings as possible in L.A. They surprised the guests!!! It's so much fun to watch. I was a Dec. bride myself.

My blog-journal--is crazy. I have been able to post some pictures of myself. Now, I'm about to go to facebook.

deborahann15 said...

I'm a champion of capitalism. Six plus years of business school---Else School of Management---and I've never changed my mind. It is perfect?--no way--but nothing is.