Friday, January 25, 2013

Lessons Learned The Hard Way

I do not post this with the intent of offending anyone... These are my personal feelings and thoughts on this subject based on experience... I post this for any young men that may happen by this humble little site... many women may not agree with this - feel free to disagree... but keep an open mind and you may learn something as well... 

concerning women
(in no particular order put equally important)

 1.  Never tell a woman she is beautiful - They don’t want to hear it but they do want to feel it.  They want attention from men, they want to know that they can get you to do anything for them but they want the challenge of it as well.  When you tell a woman she is beautiful it makes their game too easy and they will use this to their advantage to manipulate you - and women will not respect you if they can manipulate you... When the time comes to show a woman your appreciation for her beauty - show her with your actions... with the way you look at her and the way you take her whenever it pleases you to make savage love to her... and give her your attention only when she has earned it - when she has something interesting to share with you.

 2.  “I can’t live without you...” Yes, you can live without her... again women don’t want to hear this over and over again from men... This too they will use to manipulate you.  You have to get her to say “I can’t live without you...” to you... You have to be the man she wants you to be - If she has a fantasy, you must be that fantasy, If she has some ideal, you must be that ideal... take control of her and the relationship... you are the boss... you are king... you are the alpha dog... You can live without her and she has to realize that you know that she can be replaced.  No matter what bullshit games she plays with you to test how much she can get away with and how far she can go - put a stop to it quick - just look at her with a serene, but stern look, and do not say a word, gaze deep into her eyes and try to transfer your thoughts into her mind - this will work, she will get the message - and think “I can get better than you... and I deserve better then you... you can be replaced...” then, very subtly shake your head in disappointment... slowly turn around and walk away - in business and in relationships, the silent treatment works wonders.  You will get your point across and soon the games and bull-shit will cease - this took me a long time to learn but I thank the angels above that I finally learned it... Every time she says some thing or does something you do not approve of - Just give her that look - not in anger - let out a subtle disapproving sigh through your nostrils and look away - important: when giving her the silent stare, do not break eye contact until you have made her look down - when she starts to act like a child treat her like a child - you’re the daddy... you don’t raise your voice - just give her the look...

When a woman realizes that you neither need her for your happiness nor depend on her for anything, she will try harder for your attention and affection... she will try harder to please you - especially if you are indeed the alpha dog...

 3.  The Alpha Male - We all know who the big dog is when he walks into the room... even when a bigger alpha male walks in to replace the one presently there... you know when it happens... women want the top dog... plain and simple.  You become the top dog - the alpha male, by being confident, by living without fear, by being comfortable with yourself and loving yourself and respecting yourself.  You have a code of ethics and morals that will not be broken for no man or woman. You have honor and dignity... you have pride and integrity... and it shows... You are self reliant and depend on no one for your happiness... you do not need to pay attention to every pretty girl that walks in front of you... because you can have any woman that you want... you are important - so act important until your subconscious believes that you are - in turn, you will subconsciously begin to behave as important people behave*, and you will be treated with the respect that important people receive.  You do not need to please anyone - the world must please you... you are a leader... those around you follow you because you make them feel good, because they receive rewards from you in compliments, knowledge, inspiration, motivation... and love...

Reward those that behave and shame those that do not... not with anger... with the look... to give someone the look in-front of others is quite painful...

The alpha male is the man that leads other men... the best position to be in if you are not the alpha - but on your way to becoming the alpha - is to be the one that the alpha turns to when he needs something done... the one that the alpha confides in, the alpha’s right hand man... but still then you are the beta... you are moving up in the world... but you want to break out on your own... you need your own followers... men that need a leader... men that will sing your praises... that will fight for you and go to war with you... your cult...

Remember these words: people will do anything for those who encourage their dreams, justify their failures, allie their fears, confirm their suspicions, and help them throw rocks at their enemies.

Do I have my own cult of followers - no, but I don’t need one...

 4.  Do not loose your cool - do not show emotions like anger, jealousy, fear.  Your woman wants to know that you are in control.  She wants to feel safe and secure.  You are there to protect her and to provide for her safety.  She wants to go to bed at night knowing that her home is secure... there is food in the pantry and money in the bank... she wants to know that you are her man and that she is your woman... if any problems arise you will handle the situation - no matter what it is  - like a man... with confidence and integrity. Do not cry in front of your woman - do not show weakness... if you have to lock yourself in the closet to pray to god and drink half a bottle of scotch do so... but do not let her see you break down... she will loose respect for you...

 5.  Do not borrow money from your woman - never... women are funny about this - and remember, they created this... when you are with a women what is hers is hers and what is yours is hers... when you break up she takes what is hers and expects all monies loaned to you to be returned... but you are not allowed to ask for the gifts you gave her to be returned nor any monies given to be repaid... young men, this is important - once you borrow money from a woman she’s lost respect for you - she wants a man that is self reliant and independent - not a boy...   

 6. Relax - don’t worry, be happy... the Buddhists say, if a problem has a solution it will come, if it does not, then worrying about it will not help... You are confident and relaxed at all times... you are serious when it is time to be and you have a good time when good times come around... you do not need to worry about anything because you can handle any situation that should arise with confidence and integrity... when you are out with your woman and she wants to go mingle, kiss her on the cheek and say - “enjoy yourself...” if she meets some one that she wants to go home with... shrug it off... she can be replaced... and if you radiate that kind of confidence she wont go looking or even think of disappointing you, it will be you that she will be keeping an eye on to keep other women away from... you are a good catch and she knows it... you are the man she wants... she knows it and you know it... and if she finds some one better - who cares... move on to the next one - Don’t worry about what others think, don’t worry about what others say... these people are not important... they don’t pay your bills... they don’t feed you nor do they clothe you and keep you in comfortable accommodations... so, fuck them... they are no one to be worried about... you have your own life... your own dreams... your own aspirations... you and only you know what it is that you truly want out of life and you and only you know what you have to do to get it... only you know what happiness to you means and only you know how to make it happen...

 7.  Have a purpose - and pursue it with passion.  Give your life purpose and meaning - find something to be passionate about and dedicate yourself to doing that thing as best as you can whether it is your hobby or career... even if it is just learning something new - throw yourself into it with passion and when you speak of the things that you like - speak of then passionately, with enthusiasm and emotion... without apologies... women love passionate men and know that men who are passionate about something will be the best at it... this is where your happiness will come from... from the things that you are passionate about.... you know that you would find happiness doing these things with or with out a woman at your side... these things have nothing to do with women they are what helps to define you  - this is your life... women are not your life... pursue your dreams and your goals and women will be more attracted to you - don’t worry about failure - the most successful of men are the ones that failed the most - but don’t worry about what others say if you fail at a thing... they are no one remember... you are chasing your happiness... you will find that the quality of women will improve once you put a purpose to your life... this gives you greater value as a prospective lover to women... it increases your status and the higher your status the better quality women... this is why men in uniform get lots of attention... they have a purpose... make a suit and tie your uniform and give your self a purpose... or make a hammer and chisel your tools and create something with passion...

 8.  Do not seek approval - do not brag or try to impress anyone - especially women... do not talk about yourself, your achievements or your money... talk about her, get her to talk about her, get her to try to sell her to you - why should you be interested in her? Why should you want to take her out? You do not seek her approval - by trying to impress someone with your material possessions or your status you are looking for approval... your status should be understood... your success will be obvious... you are not needy of anything or anybody...  Men who seek approval from women are viewed as week men... do not buy her gifts or treat her out on dates unless she has earned it! She must find your approval... she must please you... she has to work hard for your attention and affections... she is not in control... you are... and you do not need approval from anyone -

 9.  Keep it simple - simple and to the point... say what you mean and mean what you say... keep a clean house and keep a clean mind... and keep a clean body... seek ye the truth and the truth shall set you free... Respect yourself and she’ll respect you too... Think positive, act positive, be positive... stop thinking that women are important... don’t play games - be a man... look like a man, dress like a man and act like a man...

10. The game - that is what this is - a game, and women created it a long time ago... learn to play their game and turn it on them - “for everything there is a formula...” my mentor Charles Martin would tell us... “learn the formula and you will succeed... at what ever it is you want to do...”

He was right - there is a formula for everything... the formula for getting women in the west is pretty tricky but the best way I can tell you to learn it is to go down to the drugstore and buy four or five romance novels and (if you can stomach it) read them one after another and take notes - this is what you will find - they are all the same book - with the same hero and the woman and the way it progresses is always the same... learn this formula - remember I said there was a formula for writing a movies script - I will write that down soon - Here’s the romance novel formula that women want so much in their real lives... believe it or not...

The man is a rogue
She wants him but she wants her independence as well
She wants him
He wants her
She needs a hero
He becomes her hero
He takes her
She resists
He overcomes
She is swept away
She is rescued from her passionless life...

After reading enough of these books and figuring out what women want you will be that man - because he is always the same man - in every book... and you can start a new career writing romance novels...

Here is the sad part - this game is mainly played by western women... in Eastern Europe and Asia and Latin America... all you have to do is be a gentlemen... in the west women do not want gentle men...

If you are lucky enough to find a woman who will help you to become the man you are destined to be - keep her...

These are lessons learned the hard way...



* What you believe will become your reality - the subconscious mind is a computer - it will supply the results of the information it has received - like land it will bring forth that which has been planted into it... your personality and your behavior... your actions and reactions are all a product of what is in your subconscious.  This is how and why affirmations work - by repeating them as often as possible they get planted deep with in the human subconscious where they will become your beliefs... once something gets trapped in your subconscious it will become part of you - it will define you.  If you believe you are the kind of man who is attractive to women, then you will find yourself displaying attractive behavior naturally... this is also important in chasing your dreams - setting goals. By setting goals you are creating a map to achieving you dreams... when you accomplish a goal you are affirming to yourself that you can achieve something... when you achieve one goal you have created confidence within yourself to accomplish another - what you are doing is creating confidence... confidence creates success which creates confidence to create more success... half of the trick is knowing what it is that you want... know absolutely what it is that you want... money is not what you want - it is the things you want to buy with the money that you want... women are not what you want... it is the feeling you get when you are with the woman that loves you and that you love that you want... Once you know what it is that you want then you must believe that you can, will, and do deserve to get it... and you will get it - your subconscious mind will always create your reality... once it has become a belief... if you believe you are important you will act important and people will treat you like you are important.  If you believe you are successful, then you will begin to act successful and people will treat you as if you were successful... if you believe you are the greatest lover in the world, then you will begin to behave the way the greatest lover in the world would behave... and people will begin to treat you as they would treat the greatest lover in the world...

Advice to young women -

Dress like a whore... and act like a whore... and you will be treated like a whore...
Dress like a lady... and act like a lady... and you will be treated like a lady...

This is how real men think... any man who tells you other wise is telling you what you want to hear because they think it will win your favors... or they are gay...

3 comments:

AB Cordellion said...

Hey, you know you remind me of two of my favourite French writers: L.F. Celine- more than just the ellipses... And Henry de Montherlant. If you don't know him, try his tetralogy 'The Young Girls', or at least the first half of it ('The Girls'/'Pity for Women'). The protagonist is the type of character you're talking about.

I've been out of the game for a few years now myself... I break your number one rule, I must confess, I tell her she's beautiful! but there comes a point in a relationship where the game changes, and the rules change...

dash deringer said...

I'll take your comparisons, sir...
I write for a crowd that I know will get "it"... and you get "it"...
I will add Montherlant to my ever growing reading list - sounds interesting.

Yes, there is a point when the game stops - when you are no longer playing the game... then, you tell her she is beautiful everyday... you tell her you appreciate her and that you love her as often as you can... when she stops playing her game she will surrender her power and independence to you and let you lead the relationship... she will put her trust and faith in you and let you be the man - this is what I see in relationships that work the way they are suppose to - how they worked in the days of my grandfather...

form the post - "If you are lucky enough to find a woman who will help you to become the man you are destined to be - keep her..."

deborahflorence said...

I can't sleep. Sinus issues. "A point where the game stops"--you bet!! I don't play games. games are for chldren and for cowards who are afraid to wear their hearts on their sleeves. There are times when I think I look good. I do my twirl and I ask my husband what he thinks. He used to always just say that I looked beautiful and he wouldn't look at me. He would say I looked beautful no matter what. One day I was frustrated and I told him to actually "look" at me. At that very moment, I wanted to be seen by him. My rule--when I twirl, he must stop and look. He gets it now.