Sunday, February 21, 2016

this simple life...

My quest is not an easy one - a simple life.

I want a family, a little house on a farm surrounded by a forest... near mountains and the sea... a loyal dog and friends I can truly trust... I want to wake up with the sun, far from cities and crowds of miserable people rushing to get to jobs they hate to pay off the debts they acquired for things they did not need... I want to grow my own food and have some chickens and lambs... I want an apple grove and pecan trees... corn and assorted vegetables on a piece of land where I can build houses for my sons and their sons.

I only need enough to feed my clan but I have complicated my life by forming a tribe and selling my dream of an independent society to others... well, I did not really sell my dream to others - I just started to move toward it and destiny gathered like minded men to me - it is no coincidence and it is no luck or accident... when you focus on what you want and move in the direction of it you will attract to you that which you seek - it is my belief and I cannot be convinced otherwise - because there are no coincidences.

I was still very young when I began to notice how the world  - and those in the world reacted and responded to my actions and thoughts, to my behavior and passions... but it took me a while to start to pay attention to my own reactions and responses to the world around me.  I noticed how my attitude affected those around me and how others moods affected my own... I notice that when I dress a certain way I feel a certain way and I attracted certain types of women to me... if I am in dungarees and a t-shirt and boots I feel a certain way and act a certain way... when I am in my favorite brown shirt I am relaxed and confident and on top of the world like a rock star with out a care and it shows... when I am suited up I have a strong and powerful attitude and those around me will sense it and I will draw to me what my desires are attracting when I am in that mode... can’t explain it... I can only live it...

By nature I am and have always been very solitary and I as I have gotten older I very much prefer to be alone - I never have been much for big groups though I always have been in big groups - but the very small circles have always been the best ones for me.  This new group is made up of solitary men all chasing after the same thing... what is very interesting about this group is that as we are all solitary men - we allow everyone their space - even when we gather as a group...

Thursday night we almost got into a fight but the other group backed down - they underestimated our numbers because of the quite solitary members that just sat alone with their drinks and private thoughts  - who were mostly angered by the inconvenient interruption of their stillness... I said nothing during the whole thing  - it was a conversation between a couple of ours and a couple of theirs that turned into an argument and escalated...  When tables and chairs were pushed aside I just looked on and listened and watched my crew slowly rise to their feet and gather around the others... and you could literally feel how the mood and the atmosphere of the bar change to one of anticipation for a brawl... then... one of their guys... and it seems to always be the loud mouth douche that always says... “bitch, do you know who I am?” and that is usually the point when I punch  them... but I was standing in the back of my crew at a tall table with my cold beer... my young friend, the one I wrote about, steps forward to the douche and stares at him coldly and lets all his anger rise... he turns his head very... very slow to look back at me... I pick my pint up and take a drink... look back at my friend  and I know that everyone is looking at me... I give a slight nod and he turns back to the douche... “looks like you’re all out of luck, faggot... because nobody here gives a fuck who you think you are...” and our crew all take a step forward... then a voice in the crowd says... “what the fuck is this..." and a few guys on the potentials list who we were to meet with that night come forward and look at our number two - “where’s the Chief?”  one of them says... and he looks back at me... “what do you say boss-man... can we get in on this or is this a locals only brawl?” everyone looks at me again - and my first thought is - this complicates my simple plans... my second thought is I am getting too old for this shit... a thought that quickly vanishes by the thought that this will be one awesome brawl... I walk forward and everyone is eyes on me... I stand behind my guy and look at the douche... I can see and sense that he is nervous... and his guys too... the doorman and another security guy come over and the door man, a big black guy says to me “slow down big daddy... I don’t want no blood on my floor tonight...” he puts his arm out between my guy and the douche and my guy says - “careful, this one’s important...” and you could see that it pissed off the douche... and he started to move forward but the doorman stops him and says “easy big-stuff... these men here don’t give a damn and they have no time for your bullshit...” and that is when the black man noticed one of the new guys of our crew... a man in his mid twenties who is just fucking jacked... a quiet solitary man that could give superman a fight for his money... and the doorman lets out a “damn, man...” and shakes his head... the douche says “we’re leaving...” but points his finger at my guy and says “I’ll find you bitch...”  black man grabs the douche by the back of the neck and says - “boy... shut the fuck up... I’m doing you a favor... “ and they pushed their way through the crowd and disappeared... the one from the potentials laughs and says... “that’s what I’m looking for...” and we all went back to our thoughts and our drinks.

My crew has that place on lock-down... it has been a long time since I could say that... it feels good... try it.

The rest of the night was pretty quiet and as usual other men would come around to find out who we are and what we are about and we tell them... I stay quiet now and let the others explain things... this is moving faster than I thought it would... and might get complicated... but the men we gather are not complicated... they just want the simple things and a place of their own to enjoy it...

Friday night we took over a pancake house and for the first time, outside of the inner-circle, I showed others the ever changing plans for the village and the farm... after I explained it all there was a moment of silence but it was broken by a unison eruption of questions... when... where... how... the captain of our clubhouse said he would drop all his plans right now to build it - the village... and they all said the same... I said first we have to find where... then we plant our food and gather our live stock... and we build us a church... and then we start building our houses... I don’t know why but I looked over at “the big man” - you just can’t help but look at him... he’s a mountain of muscle... and he smiles and everyone looks at him... and he says... ‘I gotta get some of you into the gym... ‘cuz I  ain’t gonna be the only one liftin’ rocks and beams and we laughed... there was excitement and hope in their voices until one - a no nonsense all business serious and practical one of us says - “you can’t do this here in the states... when they find you it’s only a matter of time before the state goes Waco on us...” 

I know most of these guys don’t want to leave the States... they are not afraid and will willingly help push the modern world towards it destruction just to get t it over with and start something new... we all know this is going to collapse in on itself... we only have to look at Europe to see what we have in store for us here... we can go somewhere else and start from scratch - which is what I would rather do - or we can stay here and wait... either way the end of the dream is coming and it will be a long hard and dark climb out of the chaos... Europe will be lost forever if the men do not do something quickly - where is your military Europe... is this what they want... what is it they are fighting to protect?

The fall of America will be especially hard - Americans are stupid... greedy and rely on their government too much... but that government could care less about the people... but the fall is coming... tribe or no tribe... if you have no plan and are not prepared or if you just can’t come to terms with the inevitable collapse... you won’t make it... I know that somewhere, the men that are orchestrating all of this are laughing their fat assess off... and somewhere there is a boy on a lonely farm... away from the problems of this modern world... basking in the ignorance and the glory of his innocence and his youth...

I don’t want to be anybodies hero... I just want what that little boy has...

2 comments:

Henry To-You said...

Great stuff V. I'm thrilled for you that it's all coming together like this.

dash deringer said...

thanks Henry.

It is coming together - not sure what "it" will become - but it is coming together - check your mail, my friend.