Thursday, December 17, 2015

The Good Stuff...

I set down to write this but I don’t know how to start - I don’t know where to start.  The words are jumbled up in my mind and the images I want to try to relate to you are swirling in a storm in the dark lonely corners of my memories... so were do I start... how do I even begin to describe something I can’t find the words for... Veronica... lets just start with Veronica...

It would bring Veronica to her knees and I would have her eating out of my hand... It made seducing her easier and it was always a confidant builder and gave me just the right amount of swagger to be that dominant man she wanted me to be... the man she was trying to help me become... It was  something I would do only on very few occasions... and though I would always make up stories in the night about my travels - you know... things that may or may not have happened in cities I may or may not have seen... on those special nights... I could  convince her I was once an angel trapped in hell and fought my way out... and trekked across the far east and found welcoming solace in old Buddhist temples and Orthodox monasteries poring over ancient manuscripts... letting the smoke of the candles and the fragrance of the incense get trapped in the layers of my skin... I could tell her the smoke from my burning wings can never wash out of my hair and the aroma of  weathered leather from the centuries of wandering and fighting will forever be part of my soul... perhaps this is not a good place to start...

Carmen... It was the first night I met Carmen at Chihuahua Charlie’s in Juarez.  We had been introduced by a mutual friend... kinda’...  he gave her my phone number and  I  had hers and we spoke by phone for two weeks before we finally met... it was on a slow night of the week and the only ones there at the bar were the people coming from work around the neighborhood, she worked at a bank up the street... with Carmen I did very little talking and let her charm me... all I had to do was look at her and think of all the perverted things I wanted to do to her and somehow that would reflect in my smile and the way I would stroke her hand... she got the hint... but... I had her trapped... in my glances and in my presence and she would hang on my every word... it was she that brought it to my attention that everybody around us would stop to look over at our table... we were the center of attention - but Carmen pointed out that it was me that everyone was obsessing over... obsessing over? Did that come out right... let’s go back to the day I found this magical wonderful thing... this nectar of the angels... the juice from the fruits of Eden... might as well just go back to the beginning.

This is about cologne... no... not just plain ole' cologne... it’s about the good stuff... the  thing that legends are born from... that unforgettable moment in time that will get trapped forever in the minds of lovers and friends and strangers passing by... it is the scent of mystery... the aroma of man... and it is called “Lagerfeld”.

I was in my early twenties when I first discovered Lagerfeld - I was dating Elsa at the time... and I was looking for cologne at Dillard’s department store... at that time and still today, I wore ARAMIS... but I wanted something different.  I did not want to wander the men’s department like a fool without a clue so I asked the girl behind the cologne counter - A very attractive woman in her late twenties or early thirties whose face I can still remember - she herself looked like she stepped out of a Lancome advertisement... and she had a lovely welcoming smile... I still remember her... I just said to her - “I am looking for something unique... something different...”  and she says - before I can say anything else - “you want to stand apart from the rest...” she said it almost like a question but with hints of an affirmation in the way she said it - I can’t even describe how her words came out... but I felt like she got me and knew what it was I was looking for... she walked down the counter and turned to a glass shelf behind her and came back with a box that she was opening on the way... a fresh bottle... not from behind the samples counter... and she pulls out a bottle as if she was charming it out of the box with mystery and dramatic undertones like a stage magician... and I fell for her trick at that moment - before even having taken my first whiff of that magic potion... it was dark orange and the genie with a thousand wishes swam in it... she smiles at me and takes my hand and turns it over and before she sprays my wrist she says  - kinda’ flirty... “this... is the good stuff...”

And I never looked back... smart choices have not been many in my life... but Lagerfeld is truly one of them... she waited a little while, letting the cologne dry before letting me smell it closely, but the citrus of lemon and orange was already rising... and then comes a honey and spice... cinnamon... nutmeg? Before she releases my wrist she takes hers and rubs it on mine... spreading the fragrance and burring it deep into my skin... but... she holds my hand... the hand with the cologne, firmly, and my hand closes around hers... she slowly raises her wrist up to her nose and breathes in slow and deep with her eyes closed and I feel her squeeze my  hand... I am mesmerized... I am speechless watching her... a bit confused and a bit turned on... she breathes out and opens her eyes like she’s coming out of a dream... and I’m standing there like a fool longing to be lost in her delusion... she focuses her glance on me and I can not look away... and she cannot look away... and she lifts my wrist up to her nose and breathes in still looking at me but she gets this look of desire on her face and closes her eyes again, I can feel her nose against that soft meaty part of my arm... and she brings her lips close to my wrist, she exhales and then breathes in the aroma with her mouth... I cannot move... she finally comes out of her dream and looks at me... she releases me from her grip with a serene but hypnotic look in her eyes... and her face begins to blush... I can see her chest and shoulders rise and fall as she breathes in and out... like a woman after an orgasm...

“I’ll take two...” 

It’s all I could say... what else could I say...

She gets this tired but satisfied look in her eyes... she wants to say something but then suddenly snaps out of her dream and gives me this big smile... “Two?”  - is she testing me?

I nod and she turns to get two fresh bottles in unopened boxes - she did not simply replace the new bottle she had opened for me to sample.  She opens a drawer and looks for the right box to place my purchase in... and she had my interest once again - she was not just going to place my cologne in a store bag... she places this dark brown box on the counter in front of me... smiles and waits for me to smile back... she can see that I am amused... and turns and walks away... she returns a few minutes later holding a silk scarf in her hands... it looks a bit like the scarf around her neck, at least I can definitely see the same colors in it... she takes this silk scarfs with green and dark blue and purples in it - what looks like some kind of water painting on the silk of Asian water plants... and folds it delicately and places it in the bottom half of the box... then she takes the two Lagerfeld boxes and gently lays them on top of the scarf with about a half inch of space between them...  She reaches for tissue paper under the counter and folds it so that she can place it between the cologne boxes and around it... she takes the overlaying sides of the silk scarf and folds them over the Lagerfeld boxes and then places the top of the box over it... I am looking at this woman and I can see that she is very much enjoying herself - did she do this for every customer or was this just special treatment for the men that purchase “the good stuff”...  She wasn’t finished yet... she wraps the box in paper for me... she walks to another counter and brings back a dark chocolate wrapping paper with Japanese fans in white on it... then she takes a couple of ribbons - brown and black and ties them around my box... I don’t know why she chose these dark colors and that particular wrapping paper...( remembering all this now has my head spinning a little... and I feel strange - a Little wicked, like I am getting away with something naughty... don’t know why...) Maybe it was because the dark orange of the cologne or because of it’s dark musk... she takes her business card and turns it over - she wrote... "I hope that you are very pleased, thank you. J." - her name was Julia... and she placed the card in front of the box under the ribbons... she sprayed a bit of Shalimar on it... and asks “would you like a bag for that... of course not... she rings me up all the while with a smile on her face and when our business was over she hands me the box with both hands and says - it was a pleasure... I ask her to point me in the direction of the mens suits department and she comes from around the counter and escorts me there herself... never before or after that have I ever been given such service in a department store in the United States... again.

I bought two suits that day as well - I had no intention to but I just got a couple of bottle of the good stuff... I needed to complete the role I was about to play... I purchased a dark blue Perry Ellis double breasted suit and a dark grey Geoffrey Beene... I was saving money for a new car then and I really had no need for the suits... it was one of those things that just came to me at the moment and decided not to regret it after I made the purchase... a couple of months before that I spent more money than I should have on a black Giorgio Armani double breasted wool suit... but that fucking suit was nice...

I was with a girl named Elsa back then, in my early twenties... she never new what  kind of suits I wore when I did wear them didn’t want her to think me pretentious or foolish for spending that kind of money and I never did use the Lagerfeld when I was with her either... I can’t say why I didn’t looking back - but I think it was because I was trying to be someone else... even when things were falling apart between us... the somebody else that I was trying to create never came out... and Lagerfeld has always been a big part of my alter personas... and... I always hoped and wanted her to want me despite of how or what I was not... and I never wore the Lagerfeld when I was with my friends - at the time they were all wearing Drakkar... and my go to everyday cologne was and has always been ARAMIS...

Lagerfeld was always for the dangerous nights... my nights of prowling the dens and allies were angels fear to tread... for the nights I was out alone looking for danger and trouble - and I always found it... I was wearing the Lagerfeld the night I got my ass handed to my by a gang in Juarez outside of a place called Fred’s for talking to the wrong girl... I was wearing it the first and only night I ever scored big at a craps table... with a couple of Bulgarian models at my side... I was wearing it the night I met Cris (he wears it, and so did Dom)... I was wearing it the night I met Veronica and Carmen... It was what I was wearing the day I made my first big money deal... and I scored... Lagerfeld was and still is a confidence booster... for me and all those I have ever known to where it... it inspires and relaxes the wearer... I don’t know what exactly was in the original formula... I do know that there is stuff out there called 'Lagerfeld Classic' that is not the same as the original and the original is still out there if you can find it - the name on the bottle has an artsy script on it but I do recall seeing bottles with the “Lagerfeld” written in a fancy cursive... I also do not know who actually designed the stuff and how much input Karl Lagerfeld had in the making of the formula - but they got it right... if they were trying to capture the scent of a certain man they did it... if they were trying to create an aroma of mystery, they did... if this was their vision of adventure... bulls eye!  But... what I just don’t understand is why in the hell did they change the formula... was it too much man for the world... was there something in it that was pulled off the market... I don’t know... but if you are looking to try the good stuff - do not get the bottle that says ‘classic’ on it...

I know a Naval Commander in North Chicago that wore it - but he already looked like a hero and had no need for the stuff... I know a man that owns an antique shop that wears it... he is always very well dressed and speaks in a slow and whispered voice... I know an artist (many actually) that wears it but only when he knows there will be women around... I know soldiers that wear it, but only the ones that lead other men... and I know business men that wear it, but only successful ones... and those on their way to becoming successful... it might not be the original formula, but it still has that kick... and I have heard other men say that it is too much like Jovan Musk - but I feel that Lagerfeld is what Jovan Musk aspired to be - I also wear the Jovan, because there are many similarities in the two.

Those two bottles I got when I was a kid lasted a very long time - because I hardly ever wore it - you see this fragrance is attitude in a bottle... and to really be able to pull it of... one must first experience life... travel a bit and have some tough times under your belt... it is after all the scent of man - if you are a man of a certain age then you will know the scent of men as being “Old Spice” that is the stuff our fathers wore...  And for a generation of men - that was the aroma of their generation... a tougher generation, a manlier generation... unfortunately that formula has also been changed... but the Old Spice was worn by the working class and the privileged alike - it was attitude in a bottle... so... work out and read heavy books and do work that toughens you up... travel and vagabond a bit... get your heart broken and acquire some scars... make friends with dark characters... become a dark character... become artistic and learn to brawl... learn to sail and ride a horse... learn to shoot and hunt... wander into the wild once in while... and come back to the world hungry and tired worn... but with a cleansed soul and renewed spirit... this is the attitude of the stuff we call “the Good Stuff” - it is Lagerfeld...

Now to some it may be too much... to much powder... perhaps at times too much citrus and smoke and tobacco... it is an acquired taste this Lagerfeld... but it turns heads... men and women... and it leaves its mark on your memory... I have also known women that wore this cologne... it does smell different on a woman... but it is not for all women... it is perhaps best on concubines and the mistresses of mobsters... and the slave girls that dance in a pirates den... but for women looking for the equivalent of Lagerfeld there is Shalimar... which may have the same effect on many men as Legerfeld has on women... For men it wears well with a business suit as well as with cargo pants and a field shirt... for those that drive Cadillacs and those that ride Indians... It is not for boys that want to be... it is for men that are... it is not for punks and rich kids in Ferraries, it is for cowboy monks in old pick up trucks... it is not for douchebag pick up artists, it is for solitary warrior poets on old motorbikes... it is not for soft boys that cry more, more, more... it is for the hard working father that protects what is his, what he has worked for and what he has earned and makes no apologies for it...

It is a man’s world... so look like one and act like one and by God... smell like one...

Good luck fellas...
Lagerfeld in original bottle
not labelled as 'classic'

Oh... that scarf that was in the box... I later re-wrapped it and gave it to Elsa as a gift for some occasion... but she never wore it in all the time I knew her... at least not for me... to this day... I am very attracted to women in scarfs...

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