Tuesday, October 20, 2015

The Lost Art of Solitude

It simply is just being alone. It is the practice of centering yourself, gathering your thoughts, reflecting on your actions and evaluating your goals... or something like that - at least this is what it means to me... quiet moments to write and draw or to just listen to fine music and read... and is as simple and peaceful as just sitting in silence and looking up at the stars rocked by the sea or lulled to sleep by the sounds of the forest... it is time for yourself to create or take apart and rebuild.  It is time to plan and scheme and lay the foundations for the future.  It is time to remember and finding the strength to let go.  It is time for art. Time to learn. Time for making decisions.  It is time to create, to write and to remove the clutter and the chaos from your mind and your life... it is those moments that come at the end and just before the beginning... it is solitude.

I hear men talk about their “man cave” - I don’t live in a cave.  I live in a house and it is all my space, if and when I find a woman to share my life with I will be sharing my space... mine.  If she behaves and is a good wife she might earn a room just for herself - her space... but my woman will be busy with being pregnant and raising children and managing and maintaining my space and above all, making absolutely sure that my moments of solitude are not interrupted.

Men need space to be men, to converse with other men and explore new ideas among each other and alone as well.  It is just as important for men to explore their own minds and limitations alone at home and in the wild.  A man needs to learn to express himself in a productive way through art, through his creations, in a way that will benefit his society and beautify his surroundings.  Men need to learn to express their thoughts and emotions through words that will help others find inspiration and guidance. But a man needs time alone for these things, for everything begins in the quiet mind not in the chaotic one, and that quiet needed for creation and expression can only be found in solitude.

I have mentioned in these Deringer Files before that I have a hide out in a nameless city, and that I prefer to escape to the sea, but when I can’t get away to the forest or the waters and I am stuck in a place I would rather not be, I have my journal - a black leather journal that might seem chaotic but it actually is in perfect order to me... it is divided into sections of my own poetry and a section for quotes that I come upon and apply to my life, I write down my thoughts and ideas on life and women and manhood, spirituality and theories of my own, I stuff the book with lose sketches of the farm and village I plan to build and random lists, I do not include entry dates and just write as things come to be... but when I need time alone in strange places and even at home I take time to go over this book... and contemplate on its content - my goals and affirmations and my plans and sketches and poetry... it is a book I plan to leave behind for my sons... it is not only a part of me but it is in fact the development and progression of the man I aspire to be... the man I find in the quite and stillness of my mind... in the quite and stillness of my solitude.


KG said...

A lovely - and important - post. I've linked to it over at my place.

dash deringer said...


100 views in one night... you are a powerful man Sir Rabbit.

KG said...

Not at all, Mr. Deringer, it's just that CR is blessed with very fine readers and has been for a long time.
Inexplicable, but there you are.

dash deringer said...

well... there you are...